Is it bad that I hope my ex gets treated like shit by her next boyfriend...

... and that she never finds happiness in life?

For some reason I have been thinking about my ex-girlfriend a lot lately. We didn't have a particularly bad break up or anything like that, and there is no real reason for me to hate her. We had been dating seriously for 5 solid years. We never fought, we got along great, and I was actually planning on proposing to her over X-mas. Sadly though, it had become a long distance relationship, and she said she wanted to take a break in late October. She finalized the break up just before Thanksgiving. I haven't talked to her since.

I haven't been the same person since the break up. I feel broken and misanthropic. It's strange how you can go from loving someone more than anything to hating them so much you wish only the worst for them.

Carrying around the bitterness will only weigh you down.

Find peace and move from hate to focusing on your own happiness rather than her unhappiness.

i CAN NOT wait until I hear that my STBX husbands howorker cheats on him....
she will
she has slept her way up the ladder in 2 companies....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh remember
revenge is a dish best served cold

I believe this

If they did it with you
they will do it to you
:hug: :hug: :hug:

lost

we are better than them
I am sorry....

honestly, it will help.

Focus on your own happiness, and not another's unhappiness. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel.

Good luck.

falls on bad fortune. I suppose it's probably a reaction to feeling betrayed by the one you cared about most. You'll get over those feelings, unless she owes you $3000.


Get back in the saddle; just go out and have a good time, be upfront, try not to break anyone's heart. You'll find it again.
cheers!

Time will help. That's how it feels for awhile. Eventually it gets better and you no longer want to expend the energy on bitterness. That's when you're over them.

She's getting rent-free space in your head.

Let it go. Takes time, but it's better to instead wish her the best.

Don't mess with karma...

RL

I really, really like that, bro.

I know how much it sucks and how hard it is to evict the person once they are up there...

:hi:

RL

Hating her only hurts you.

I can't tell you how long it will take. Some break ups take more time than others. But healing does happen eventually.

I went through a similar break up when I was young. It took about close to four years to finally put her out of my mind and permanently move on. I know it's not pleasant to think you will carry the pain with you for years, but eventually it does go away completely.

I had a relationship like that, and I was the one who broke it off.... sucks. I know I'm a complete douche-bag for breaking that girls heart, but it wasn't really easy for me either. I really do want her to be happy, though it was a little sad when I found out she was seeing someone else (years later). Eventually I bet you'll just be happy that you had a good relationship for a number of years, but you shouldn't dwell on that now - work on making yourself happy, and don't worry about what she's going through (be it good or bad), because it's none of your business anymore. Sad, but true.

not good for you at all

As others have pointed out, the only person you can harm here is yourself. Holding a short-term grudge is fine, and anger/hurt is understandable, but the long term goal is to move on with your own life, without any baggage (hate, ill-feeling, etc) in your head.

still in love with her. Hate is just love turned inside out. When you are truly over her you will cease to think about her, finally you will get to a point where you really don't care and after that will come a time when you really do wish for her happiness just like you would any other stranger. my .02 --- YMMV

Cheer up.

I need a date with a mean chick.......

I'll trade you my ex's for yours.

(Mind you that my ex works for the Gubmit)

There was no committment broken, no affair or other breaking of a sacred trust, and no kids involved.

Work on letting it go.



I have/had all of the above. The mean, base part of me wants her to suffer in unhappiness and lack of fullfillment for doing what she did. The parental part of me wants her to be reasonably happy so our son will grow up in two loving environments, mine and hers.

When I heard she was on the rocks with her b/f a couple of weeks ago, I was like "Yes! Karma!/No! What about our kid???", so I'm in a bit of a different spot than you are.



So enjoy the fact that you can have a clean break with her, don't dig any deeper into the details of the breakup, and move on.

feeling the pain of your breakup. But wishing revenge will not help you heal. The pain will not disappear, but you will notice that is subsides, little by little. Try to let go of those negative feelings and use that energy to move on.

I sympathize with you, because I too have been in the place that you are now.

I'll keep you in my prayers, and hope that your heart heals fast.

my husband's ex-wife died this week from cancer. I hold no sympathy for the witch. She caused alot of pain and misery for 24 years and I'm glad she's gone. We had restraining orders against her for most of those years. She was abusive and a bitter woman. She played hard and paid the price. Ding Dong the witch is dead...

It's also perfectly understandable, because you feel betrayed and humiliated for having invested more in the relationship than she did. A few months of feeling mean may be completely normal; I just hope you can come soon to a place where you can let go of the hate. Recognizing that there are a lot of us out here who have gone through something analogous, and who will go through it again, may encourage you to lend fellow travelers a hand rather than resent anyone who isn't obviously at the same stage of a break-up.

I can only promise you that it does get better from here on out, and that there are millions of people who understand your pain. :toast:

and leave the anger behind. :hug:

is that she has taken care of herself, looks fab for 40. Ex recently is interested in contacting her after 25 years. Even managed to track down our Mother to get in touch with my sister. So, we googled him, and he looks like hell. She is looking forward to meeting up with him to be able to turn him down if that is his intentions, which right now are unknown.

So take care of yourself, physically and mentally. It's the best thing that you can do for yourself! :hi:

that only hurts you

she's not suffering a bit

and wishing for bad things for her doesn't make it happen

:pals:

sorry it hurts

hang in there

I sort of know where you're at, how let down you must be. Whether the breakup was respectful or not it's natural to feel betrayed when you've been that close to somebody for that long and they want to end things so seemingly randomly. In time you will remember what you admired and loved about her, and you will be able to let go of your resentment over what might have been and wasn't. At that point you'll be able to accept what happened and wish her the best, thus finding peace yourself. After five years, it's probable that your lives will connect in some way again, though perhaps not romantically.

It's bad to have a mindset where you hope that women will be abused by men, just as it's wrong to hope that a black person you dated will be a victim of racism.

I think you need to recognize that for what it is, because if your attitude toward women is that you love them - until you feel resentment toward them, and then you're kind of secretly glad men (some men) treat women like shit, that doesn't bode well for your relationships with ANY woman. I wouldn't want to be even casual friends with a man who thought that way, just as I wouldn't want to be friends with a man who was secretly glad racism exists if they had an argument with a person of color.

I hope you'll find a way to accept that you feel hurt, and to recognize that as an internal and normal feeling and deal with it on that level.