This is a thread I started in the Divorce/Separation forum. People rarely visit it so I copied it here so if I say "old thread" or "in here", it is referring to two old threads in that forum.
I have a thread in here on joint bank accounts and him not showing me what is going on. It's old though. I've gone back and forth with him on getting access to the accounts. He showed me the account statements online a while ago. Then the password changed and I forgot about it. Then he finally gave it to me again a few days ago. Right now he is out of town. I went to his computer and looked at his messenger. There is a woman's email address in the Contacts list. I called him and he said he didn't know how it got there. There are emails saying, "I saw your profile picture, contact me!" He says they are spam -- could be. How do I know? If you scroll down through the threads in this forum you will find one where he was cheating on me a year ago while in GA.
So, I do some more digging. On his computer is a link to a site where people write stories about their sexlife. Like the Penthouse or Hustler or whatever stories. He is a PAYING member. I find out his screen name as he has it saved on the site. I do a search online of this name. Two links. His profile is up at a BDSM site. He says, "SEEKING WOMEN FOR ACTIVE PARTICIPATION in Georgia". He told me all old accounts of any sort were deleted. And he said "I just went to a chat site to meet friends" (about this next site --> ). The other site is the site she told me she met him on. Account still there but I need a password to see it. I don't know when the last time either of these has been accessed; one says "more than 3 months ago" and the other I can't see.
I go to the bank statements. A recurring charge to some place called ifriends. Apparently a webcam place HOWEVER I dont' know if he actually used/uses it because there are a shitload of complaints against this place for fraud charges. Then there's another monthly charge to some bondage forum. WTF? When does he visit these? Then there are a shitload of charges through what I believe are online payment services: Chargepayonet; CCBill.com; INICIS internet. I can't even find out what these are for!
What do I do? I want to leave NOW but I live in KOREA. My family has plane tickets to come see me in May! I don't know how to get out of here. I don't know what to do. I am so scared.
Do I contact a lawyer? If so, what do I say? I only have the option of JAG lawyers.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=301&topic_id=490&mesg_id=490