I Love Joan Rivers! "The only beard that looks good these days...

joeybee12

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:21 PM
Original message

I Love Joan Rivers! "The only beard that looks good these days...

...is Katie Holmes!"

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hellbound-liberal

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:27 PM
Response to Original message

1. I remember one line that she had about Elizabeth Taylor

"She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book!" of course, she doesn't have much room to talk anymore!

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mondo joe

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #1

3. The Liz Taylor crack I always liked was "When we were young we all wanted to look like Elizabeth

Taylor. Now, God help us, we do."

I don't remember who said it - but it was said during the peak of Liz's weight gain.

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joeybee12

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #1

5. I take her out to McDonalds just to watch the numbers change...

...What do you want on your hamburger? (Liz replies) A hotdog.

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Midlodemocrat

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #5

6. She also said Liz was the only one who stood in front of a microwave

screaming 'hurry up'. I remember reading once that Liz wasn't offended by her jokes. I hope that's true.

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joeybee12

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:39 PM
Response to Reply #6

8. Great line...Joan said she had Liz over for dinner once and Liz

was an absolute doll...then when Loz lost all that weight, she did jokes about how mad she was at Liz...one more month and I woulda had a new hosue (i.e., she got mileage out of all those Liz jokes).

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Xipe Totec

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:28 PM
Response to Original message

2. Why can't you be like your cousin Sheila?

My favorite Joan Rivers gag of all time.

:rofl:

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joeybee12

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #2

9. Great joke...life can be cruel, and Joan knows it!

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Midlodemocrat

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:32 PM
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4. My favorite line from her was when she was doing standup.

She had painters in the house painting her bedroom and they couldn't get the color right. She plucked a hair from her head and screeched at them to paint the room 'JUST LIKE THIS'...

They painted the walls a lovely golden yellow and the ceiling black. LOL.

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joeybee12

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Thu Mar-06-08 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #4

7. My body is falling so fast my gynecologist wears a hardhat!

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Mad_Dem_X

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Thu Mar-06-08 09:07 PM
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10. My favorite:

"Her knees are apart so often, they're pen-pals!"

:rofl:

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joeybee12

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Thu Mar-06-08 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #10

11. Hee-hee...On Joan Collins as Alexis...she's had more hands up her dress

than the Muppets.

Said this when she hosted the Emmys...took a lot of heat later.

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ordinaryaveragegirl

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Thu Mar-06-08 10:02 PM
Response to Original message

12. I love the line of hers on the Geico commercial...

"This face has seen more knives than a Benihana..." :rofl:

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joeybee12

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Thu Mar-06-08 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #12

13. Yeah, she's milking that plastic surgery for all its worth!

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