So I went to Wal-Mart last night....

Because I was jonesing for chocolate. I headed to the Easter candy section in search of Cadbury creme eggs...

And right beside the chocolate bunnies are crosses... crosses in your choice of white or milk chocolate!

I have never seen chocolate crosses before. Is this new, or have I been blissfully ignorant all these years? Because I have to say, even though I am atheist, I found edible crosses offensive and disturbing.

:shrug:

symbolic cannibalism, but I'm not unfamiliar with that practice.

:shrug:

1. what's in the wafer and wine (most wine is not vegan, I have no idea what's in the wafer)

2. whether or not you believe in transubstantiation

3. whether or not, should you believe in 2, consent comes into play

Weirdly, in five years, I've never had to wonder about that. Most of the vegans I know are atheists.

But I've forgotten. What makes wine not vegan?

:shrug:

:P

specifically Jesus) nibbling on their crossbeam for energy while carrying it to their place of execution.

:rofl:

some religious leaders are taking offense lately. Not all, just some.

(Now awaiting shitstorm of anti-religious posting)

...unless the Easter Bunny was nailed to it.

Symbolism is important, you see.

:evilgrin:

THE POWER OF HERSHEY COMPELS YOU!

I suppose that's my cross to bear.

The Right Honorable Tom Waits was all over it in 1999....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfamPW3Eaw

:)

Great screen name, by the way...

I'm not on your ignore list!

Tom Waits is a god. Pan, I'm pretty sure.

Step Right Up Is almost as good for an Easter or Christmas song... a Christmas medley with Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minn.

♫ Your own, chocolate, Jesus
someone to hear you crave,
someone so brave

Your own, chocolate, Jesus
someone to hear you crave,
someone that gave

Feeling unknown
and you're all alone,
flesh and bone,
by the telephone,
lift up the receiver,
i'll make you all a-quiver

Take second best,
with no Girl Scouts' quest,
stomach so empty,
on this we agree,
i will deliver,
you know i'm not a fibber

Reach out and munch faith
Reach out and munch faith

Your own, chocolate, Jesus
someone to hear you crave,
someone so brave

Your own, chocolate, Jesus
someone to hear you crave,
someone who gave

Feeling unknown
and you're all alone,
flesh and bone,
by the telephone,
lift up the receiver,
i'll make you all a-quiver
i will deliver,
you know i'm not a fibber

Reach out and munch faith
Reach out and munch faith
Reach out and munch faith

Reach out and munch faith ♫


:hide:




Jonny's gonna kick my ass, isn't he?

But I will never be able to listen to Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" without those words in my head now. And I listen to Depeche Mode alot...

Since it is so funny, I forgive you.

:thumbsup:

Thats my favorite album of all time, Violator. Halo is the best song ever in existance.

it'd be divine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8huIb6l75xY

at least it might last me a couple weeks.

ps - where does an 800 lb Jesus sleep?

if only the teacher wouldn't be lynched!

:cry:

I spend a lot of time working on my version. You must have posted while I was still working on it. Here, have a raspberry-filled chocolate Jesus. If you bite him in the right spots he'll look just like he does on the cross...

personally, I prefer dark chocolate with hazelnuts... I can't even make my mind go there... okay, it already did. :/

courtesy of Tom Waits, as per #12 above.

Dont go to church on sunday
Dont get on my knees to pray
Dont memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way
Bit I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more

I fall on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lees candy store

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

Well I dont want no anna zabba
Dont want no almond joy
There aint nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well its the only thing
That can pick me up
Better than a cup of gold
See only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul

(solo)
When the weather gets rough
And its whiskey in the shade
Its best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But thats ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me

Well its got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

Nothing like having yourself or your kids suck on Jesus.

This is just a bit too much.

What's next a Cadbury Cave-- crack it open, and out pops the resurrected Christ (in marzipan natch)

:)

Feigning thickheadedness will not get anyone to talk about sex and the true origins of the holiday. So sorry, just not going to happen.