I'm in a crappy mood

I was up late and woke up late for work. Then I get to work and first thing I do is crunch my car into a pole in the parking garage. Hello new dent in my front bumper. Then I have to wrestle with a peiece of equipment in the lab that usually takes 10 minutes to prep but today was acting up so it took 30 minutes to get set for the days work.
Can someone please post something funny? I need a laugh. The more inane the better...;-)

;) :P :hi:

Why didn't The Dog Star laugh at the joke?

:silly:

You'll have to settle for "sophisticated" humor. Hope these will do:

and more of an unobstructed view.

Well done!

On January 24th, 2009, in the oval office of the new Democratic president:

The Secretary of Defense is giving the President the daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

The President's staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and says, "One Brazilian is too many! I am glad that we are beginning to draw down our presence in Iraq and put an end to this long national nightmare."

:hi:

vote for the D nominee.

:wtf:

WTF indeed. :rofl:

Hillary in the GE!

:wtf:

Not annoy the crap out of me...;) :P

I hope your day is better. Inane is never much fun, so I hope you get some real laughs out of your reading.

I look at it this way, even if its kinda stupid (like the brazillion joke) at least people are trying to make me laugh and I appreciate it.
Thank you for caring. YOu have enough on your worry plate as it is I think.
:hug:

you won't remember today. :shrug:

John was the owner of a liquor store in the big city. One day, after 25 years of dealing with a demanding public and bureaucracy, John made the decision to sell his liquor store and move to the wilds of Alaska.

John used the money from the sale of his store to buy 40 acres of land in the Alaskan wilderness. John lived in nearly total isolation for nearly 6 months, until one day he heard a knock on his door. Opening the door, he found a huge, bearded man standing before him.

"I'm Lars," said the man. "I live about 40 miles up the road. I'm having a Christmas party on Friday night and I hope you can come."

"That sounds great," said John. "I've been here for six months or so and have hardly seen a soul."

As Lars turned to leave, he told John "I should warn you, there'll probably be a lot of drinking there."

"I don't mind," said John. "I owned a liquor store for 25 years so I've been around plenty of people who drink."

"And, there could be a lot of fighting," responded Lars.

"That's OK," said John. "I can take care of myself."

"There's probably going to be some wild sex, too" said Lars.

"That would be great," said John. "Like I said, I've hardly seen a soul for the past 6 months. How should I dress for the party?"

"Don't much matter," said Lars. "Just gonna be the two of us."

Thanks for that one!:rofl:

I'm a big enough asshole already....:D