No More Grocery Store Small Talk, Please

Yeah, yeah, there's that whole thing in Iraq, and the mortgage dealy with the economy, but the first thing I'd do if I were elected POTUS would be:

Forcing grocery stores to introduce "No Small Talk" check-out lines. Because I'm sick of that crap, and I'm sure many of the checkers are too. I mean, sure, if you really have something important or neat to say, fine, but these poor people at the Trader Joes I go to (and some other places, but especially TJs) are so obviously trained to pick some arbitrary item I've chosen to purchase to ask some random question about like, "Oh, is this good / have you tried this yet?" as a primer for a frivolous little chat, and, personally, I find it a bit annoying in its phony-baloneyness. And ESPECIALLY since the few times I think of something really clever to say, like a total gem of a hilarious observational quip type thing, they never fucking understand or acknowledge it, which just adds to the aggravation of the entire miserable experience.

For instance, last week I bought a bottle of vodka and two bananas. That's it. So, not seeing much potential in asking me about having ever tried eating bananas before, the guy asks me about the brand of vodka, so I say, "Yeah, it makes my commutes fly right by," which is at least kinda funny, warranting more than the catatonic grunt it received.

And yes, my girlfriend agrees that I'm the grouchiest asshole on the planet and need to get a life. what her problem is is anyone's guess.

:rofl:

:thumbsup:

My kind of grouch!! Brilliant answer.

Next time, whatever they ask, answer it with "Since I filled my niece with what had to be AT LEAST a metric liter of my semen. I mean, seriously. Jesus. You know? Fuckin' goddamn. Yeah."

:rofl:

Mr. Debi and I always ask the checker to guess what's for supper based on what we're buying. :shurg:

I'm not trying to impose my will and rain on any parties. I realize the problem is mostly me. :(

:hug: No other questions ... promise :P

but you beat me right there, in spades.

Redstone

let's get down straightaway to some Good Old=Fashioned All-American Grocery-Store Fuckin'.

No really, my enormously anti-social father complains about the same thing. And people asking if he needs help finding anything, as if all the stuff at Safeway reshuffled itself since the last time he was there. He does his shopping in the middle of the night because he hates people.

He'd be a lot better off if he could work the autochecker or order his groceries online, but he's rather technologyphobic.

and I jibber-jabber with the checkers. Maybe I'll run into your dad some evening. :evilgrin:

the stuff at Safeway has reshuffled itself since the last time I was there.

I do - I was a former Flight Attendant and learned to respond to anything - I mean ANYTHING. It's kind of ingrained in me now to keep up the blather.

And, I used to be painfully shy as a kid. I mean curl my lips over my mouth if anyone talked to me and could not for the life of me form a response to small talk. Now I love being able to keep it up and appreciate the friendliness of people willing to break the silence.

I'm friendly and I don't mind small talk, but it's a little rude to comment on purchases and I don't need the cashier to be my best friend. I feel bad for them, especially at Safeway. It's so fake and it doesn't make me want to shop there.

I find it incredibly rude to the checkout person.

Wearing headphones, listening to music while shopping is fine - but have the courtesy to turn them off and take them off when at the checker's.

I worked as a cashier a few years ago, and would have to agree about the cell phone talkers. The worse was a lady who got pissed off that I was interrupting her conversation when I asked her some question I had to ask her about her groceries!

That's one of my retorts to nonsense banter.

was how I met my husband, so I'm kind of biased. We would chat about military history and really confuse people. He was amazed that a female knew anything about World War 2.

one time the cashier told me I might not like the wine I was purchasing and that I could bring back the empty bottle for a refund if I didn't like it. Interesting, but it was for my girlfriend and she liked it. We could have returned it anyway just to game the system but didn't.

It reminds me of when I lived in Europe, and grocery shopping was a social experience. You'd patronize the same small neighborhood shops, and eventually everyone there would know you. They'd ask about the health of your family, how the new job was going, had you visited such-and-such local attraction yet, had you heard that Senora Lopez has a new grandson, etc. No heavy political or religious lifting, no scandalous gossip, just neighborly chit-chat.

When I was hospitalized with a fairly serious illness and my husband had to do all the shopping, the alarm bells went up. People actually asked what had happened to me. When I went back to doing some of the shopping myself, I was congratulated on my quick recovery. It felt reassuring, like if I dropped off the face of the earth someone outside my family and close friends would notice.

Most American shops lack that kind of social grease. Except small used bookstores. Maybe that's one of the reasons I love small used bookstores.

Nah. It's probably just what they sell.

No way in hell I'm making small talk in a grocery store. :scared:

Especially when you've got a quart of milk, a box of Band-Aids, and somewhere else to be, and all the other aisles are three deep with people doing the whole week's shopping.

I'm not standing in line to pay for pantyhose--no way.

:D

Rudeness is already at epidemic levels in this country and I think it is nice when people who don't really know each other take the time to chat. I always comment to the kids at how many "fussy faces" we see at the store. I mean, god forbid you make eye contact and smile at anybody these days...lots of times you'll get a nasty look in return. And would it kill people, outside of an emergency, to not gab on a cellphone for the little while they're in the store. Julia, I don't need to know that your best friend totally pissed you off last night by drinking the last of the Schnapps...and you always seem to speak 5 times louder than you normall would, as if to prove to the world that you have a friend...and are important.

:rantoff:

Being pleasant makes the world a better place. We are becoming more crowded; people are getting nervous and grumpy. Pleasantry costs nothing.

One time, when the young person behind me in line, was yakking in my ear, on her cell phone…I just pulled mine out and spoke very loudly into it, “I’m fine, aside from the person who is yelling into their cell phone behind me”.

The cashier gave me the biggest grin and the young person behind me, ended the call. Passive aggressive, maybe, but that cell phone behavior has to have more regulations.

Haruka was my witness. I was so shocked, that I didn't even realize I should've gotten the manager, until after we left.

Cheer up! People are trying to be friendly.

and I was sort of exaggerating a bit for comic effect, but I guess what does annoy me a bit is that it's so obviously the perfunctory product of store policy, and therefore phony. I have no problem with socializing with people, whether they're strangers or whatever, but I prefer it to be a bit more authentic and organic. know what I'm saying?

Its a marketing strategy not genuine interest on the part of the checkout person (actually, for some it might be genuine interest but for most of them its whatever the marketing department told them to do).

The small grocery store where they know you ... then its genuine interest. At a corporate supermarket - give me a break.

A simple "Hi, how's your day going?" or friendly comment is fine. I even don't mind the "Did you find everything you wanted?" question. A genuine, "Oh, those are my favorite!" about some product is also OK. A faked interest in a product you're purchasing (I mean, you work here - if you're interested in whether its good or not, buy it yourself!) feels disingenuous.

Maybe I'll do this ... next time the checker at TJ asks "Oh, is this good / have you tried this yet?" I might just say, "You asked me the same thing about the same product last time." or "When one of you does that it seems sincere, when all of you do it it become disingenuous - does the management think the regular customers don't notice?" or "I've never bought it before and plan to let is sit in my fridge/on my shelf until it goes bad just because" or "Now I don't know if I'll get it if the people who work here haven't even tried it yet."

everytime we're there, and we enjoy talking with him or her about how they are, what's new, what's new with us. When the checker whose lines we'd gone through for almost seven years left the local grocery store, we went to a different one.

Let's face it, I'm with the poster that commented on the fact she was relieved to know that someone would miss her if she wasn't there. When my husband does the majority of the shopping for a couple of weeks, he gets questions about how I am, too.

It costs nothing to be nice and might make someone's day. For all the small talk at the checkstand, imagine how many times anyone who has to deal with the public also gets someone who backs up the truck on them for no apparent reason.

Julie

1) I want to stop being asked by the debit swipe if the store was clean, if my cashier was friendly, or if I found what I wanted

2) I want to stop getting receipt tape the length of a compact car, telling me that I can enter a URL, take a brief survey, and potentially win thousands of dollars in store merchandise.

3) I want to either stop being asked in what language I want to transact business, or be given about 144 choices so I can transact business in Albanian.

Normally I expect a checker to say something like, "Did you find everything all right?" but at TJ's when I'm buying wine, there seems to be one checker that consistently asks me what my plans are for the evening. I know she's not coming onto me, because she asked the previous customer the same thing.

:shrug:

I enjoy the friendliness of casual small talk with strangers. It brightens the day.

Here, have a hug. :hug:

whipped cream, and a cucumber. They will keep their mouth shut.

When I went to the all-night pharmacy to pick up a prescription at 2:00 a.m. The woman in line ahead of me was dressed in a wedding gown, and buying a case of baby formula and a box of condoms.

Boy, did I ever want to ask her what the story was!

Checker quips "Breakfast of Champions, eh?"

My reply "No, I just have a long drive ahead of me." Pay, then leave.

his girlfriend, at the time, asks if he will get her some tampons

This IS a true story


They live out in the middle of nowhere so he makes his way to the local gas station/market and puts the 12 pack and the tampons up on the counter

and the flunky cashier looks up and says "Big night huh?"

who waited until she was through the checkout and the cashier was ringing my stuff up to announce "Ohh! I have a coupon!"

Well, then I guess you should have produced it back when- oh, I don't know- she was ringing YOUR stuff up!


:banghead:

back when I worked as one. I'd say hello and tell people their totals, but they were lucky to get much of anything else out of me. Of course, I was also really slow, which would probably piss more grouchy people off than any attempts at small talk on my part would have! I salute anyone who works as a cashier; it's a pretty thankless job IMHO. I hated pretty much every second I worked as one.

I've got the clerks at the local one trained. They chat with me, they die.

What am I, chopped liver?

Maybe it's a new policy, I haven't been to my TJs for a few months.

I am always tempted to ask my checker what they think the one critical item is that I actually came to the store for. But I never do. Cuz I hate when the person in front of me is making small talk with the checker (or worse, vice versa, the checker is blabbering on instead of working).

But I know that they are probably trying to figure out what the impulse items are vs. the thing I really came to buy.

I think about that at Costco too.