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Okay class, Pick up your pencils.. It's Final Exam time

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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-04 05:17 PM
Original message
Okay class, Pick up your pencils.. It's Final Exam time

http://funnies.paco.to/FinalExam.html

Final Exam Smart Gadgets for Your Home

Instructions
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.

Time limit
2 hours. Begin immediately.

History
Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

Medicine
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Public Speaking
2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

Biology
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.

Music
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Psychology
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following:
Alexander of Aphrodisis
Rameses II
Hammuarabi.
Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Sociology
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Engineering
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Economics
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas:
Cubism
the Donatist Controversy
the Wave Theory of Light
Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Political Science
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.

Epistemology
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your stand.

Physics
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Philosophy
Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

General Knowledge
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
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tedoll78 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-04 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. No Latin or Greek?
No fair! I could calm them! I know I can!
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pscot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-04 05:37 PM
Response to Original message
2. Can we refer to the book?
N/T
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cornermouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-14-04 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. Exam
History - Anthing not now
Medicine - No thanks.
Public speaking - Bye bye
Biology - We'd all be dead 499.99 million years earlier
Music - Plink, plunk, plink
Psychology - They're all history
Engineering - 10 minutes? Leave now.
Economics - Vote Bush out
Political Science - No more history
Epistemology - Maybe
Physics - It exists
Philosophy - "No" = 1st
General Knowledge - Whatever



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