Thanks to Wal Mart, I now know my headlights were on in the middle of the day. It's a Jama rant.

Might want to cover the children's ears. This is a thread by me about Wal Mart, which means there will be lots of cussing. One out of two pharmacists may also be offended as well, apparently.

I have done my part to piss off the right wingers today.

As usual, just when I was in the most pain, I ran out of my prescriptions.

My TMJ has gotten worse. I now am uncontrollably grinding my teeth and gritting them so tightly together today, that I chipped one a little last night. Just got back from the dentist the other day too. I'm not happy. It looks like I'll need to be fitted for one of those expensive(I'm sure) mouth pieces to keep from gritting and grinding so hard that my teeth fly right out of my head and I end up looking like the "eyewitness" to a story on the nightly news. They always have about 4 teeth in their head and a crazed look in their eyes. News teams really know how to spot the most animated, vocal members of society, don't they?

In other words, I'm hurting like a motherfucker today and guess where the only place I can afford to buy my prescriptions is?

Guess? You'll never guess.

Wal Mart

(insert five full minutes of a pause here to wait for y'all to quit calling me a FReeper, redneck, baby killing, kitten killing, child slaving... damn I've been in GD: P too much this week)

Okay, are you done cussing about Wal Mart and bitter rural morans like me who have to go there because we have no other choice?

If the answer is no, keep cussing, then read on. Trust me, you'll still find this funny, or outrageous, or at least mildly amusing, at the very least.

If the answer is yes, you are finished cussing about Wal Mart and bitter rural morans like me who have to go there because we have no other choice, you should know I'm not.

I'm not through cussing about Wal Mart, nor will I ever be.

Hell!
I've already been there, every month to pick up my prescriptions. There is nothing worse than the Rockingham Wal Mart. Hell could not hold a candle to that place. Hell is a joke compared to that place. God could strike me dead with lightning or a tornado right fucking now and my soul would drift to Wal Mart to spend eternity grumbling, cussing, sweating (they never use the goddamn A/C like normal people. It's always 80 degrees minimum in there) and hating the human species more than ever. I swear I am the most misanthropic person on the face of the planet, when I am at Wal Mart.

I think I'd rather try Olive Garden or chicken rolled in cornflakes than the Rockingham Wal Mart. Everyone is always standing in my damn way chit chatting like it's a damn social get-together of some sort. It's a fucking store. Buy what you went for and get the fuck out of there or at least get out of my goddamn way!

:wtf: is wrong with these people? On the one hand, they don't want any beer joints or bars or clubs in town because they swear up and down it'll cause homosexuality. Then they need somewhere to go and church, even going 7 days a week, apparently doesn't give them enough time to get all their gossip in.

So what do they do? They socialize in Wal Mart and make the cuss words flow out of my mouth like silk. So, if you are ever in the Rockingham Wal Mart and you see some brunette with a scowl on her face who is pushing a buggy around and grumbling and cussing and glaring at people randomly, that would be me. :hi:

So, I had to go pick up my prescriptions. I can pay $90 at every other pharmacy in the county, or I can pay $55 for my Zoloft at Wal Mart. I despise Wal Mart, but made the stupid mistake of mentioning that I had to go there to get my prescriptions. You see, my aunt thinks that means she should make a "list" every time I go. I always tell her, Food Lion has everything but the prescriptions and the Sawnson's canned chicken.

She never listens. So, I wake up today and the first thing she does it flicks open this long scroll that rolls across the living room floor and hits the wall on the other side of the room. That was her "list."

I started cussing, because I knew I was hurting bad enough that I didn't want to go to both Wal Mart (let's just call it Hell from this point on. ok?) AND the grocery store in one day. There was no fucking way today. That wasn't happening.

After arguing about the length of said "list," I finally went to Hell. When I got there, I headed straight for the Ibuprofen for my jaw, (whatever their cheap ass store brand was, I don't remember the name), and then asked for my prescriptions.

Here's the sorta funny part. I was already in a pissy ass some may say "bitter" mood, because I was in Hell.

When the pharmacist turned around, she "whispered" OUT LOUD to the other pharmacist working the drive thru window , "SHE IS NOT WEARING A BRA. HER HEADLIGHTS ARE ON." Of course, I know myself, because to mine own self I am true, a true Pervert, that is. Of COURSE, it was me she was talking about.

This is the kinda funny part. The Drive Thru Pharmacist said to the Titty Watching Pharmacist, "I used to go without a bra when I was younger and could do it too."

I took my prescriptions from Titty Watching Pharmacist and beamed the biggest grin EVAH and stuck my chest out and walked away as slowly and as sexily as possible.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

She blushed. Do y'all think I should ask her out now? Or build up the Titty Watching Pharmacist foreplay by waiting until I have a bikini on and asking her to help me pick out the best kind of suntan lotion, then asking her to put it on my back? :evilgrin:

"This thread is useless without pictures."

Crap. I just said it, didn't I. :P

:rofl:

And she obviously had a few words to spare. :)

When she said it, my eyes went wide and my first thought was, "If you only knew, lady." :P

:rofl:

:evilgrin:

Oddly enough, so did ours right then. :P

Pee Dee. :D



(I've never been there. I just love the name.)









Notice how I gentlemanly avoided the Other Stuff?

People swim there sometimes too. I always joke that that is probably how it got its name. :P

And this feller moved a bit south to live there.

I love it when he pulls up his pants, puts his thumbs in his suspenders and says, "We gotta nip it in the bud, Andy." That was my favorite line from the whole show.

:rofl:

I'm still giggling about Titty Watching Pharmacist every time I think about it. :rofl:

I should ask her out or something, shouldn't I? :rofl:

:rofl:

slow, sultry walk through the Pharmacy next time I go. :evilgrin:

:evilgrin:

:loveya:

It might just become a regular "MUST DO THIS" activity every time I go to Wal Mart. :evilgrin:

the Rockingham NC Walmart? If so I am very sorry that you have to go there.

That's the one. It's the new one, supposedly one of the largest in the world. It's about 10 acres of people standing around chit chatting and pervy Titty Watching Pharmacists...:rofl:

The only thing going on at the one up here is the drunken shopping cart races in the parking lot.

was built. The security there is so tight, you wouldn't believe it. Cops constantly patrol the parking lot.

ask her if she could recommend a good vibrator, or sex toy! Be sure to go into a lot of detail! I'd offer suggestions, but don't want to get your thread locked.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

ask her for a piece of paper so I can draw what they look like. :evilgrin:

Inquire in detail, like how many speeds, modes, how long it takes for, uhm .. "success".

I really have to be VERY careful here! LOL!

Local Pharmacist Needs a Little Doctoring of Her Own

A local pharmacist needed a little doctoring of her own today when she passed out while tending to a customer. When asked if she remembered what the customer wanted, she merely got a deer caught in the headlights look and mumbled something about bullets...

zOMG, deer caught in the headlights! This just keeps getting better. :rofl:

did you pick up everything on auntie's list?

:+

I managed to get through there without getting arrested or killed too. One of these days, I am going to be muttering under my breath and someone is probably going to pull out an Uzi on me. :P

:P

I hope the painkiller works and your TMJ isn't hurting you now.

on this pain. I guess it all boils down to the type of pain. This is more in the swelling and inflammation category of pain, so the Ibuprofen has allowed me to open my mouth wide enough to eat a PB&J sandwich. Earlier, I would have been screaming, even though I was so hungry. I nibbled a piece of cheese until the medicine kicked in. :P

And before anybody hits me up for pics, I'm actually wearing a bra for once. The shirt I'm wearing only fits right if they're shoved up high enough I could rest my chin on 'em.

:D

:rofl:

Growing up, I had 5 dogs inside the house. They were all small dogs, like poodles and yorkies. Of course, they loved to be cuddled. So, we always called them puppy shelves or puppy pillows, because when we would carry the dogs around, they'd sort of rest there just right or they would fall asleep laying their head on them to get closer to the heartbeat.

I adopted an abandoned two week old kitten many years ago. He was so insistent on being held constantly that I couldn't put him down for a minute to make a pot of coffee. He was terribly malnourished and I think he just needed the constant warmth from being held.

I went out and bought a sports bra, tucked the little guy in there with his head popping out the top of my shirt, and he purred like a baby and slept all the time, as long as he had a mama. I then had my hands free to function.

Hey! Kittens need mama's and warm snuggles too!

I bottled fed her from a tiny little kitten. I had to carry her around with me everywhere I went for a while and it was cold weather. So, I would zip up my jacket, and stick her in there with only her head sticking out. It's amazing that they can double as puppy shelves or kitten shelves. They are so versatile. :thumbsup: :P

I was food shopping at Wal-Mart tonight... <5 minutes pause> ...and there was a page about the whole thing over the PA.





Are you headlight about this size?




:evilgrin:

My back was killing me. So, now they are a more "managable" size. :P

Nope, it wasn't me in the Ford Explorer. I was outta there before dark, what with the Titty Watching Pharmacists and the bored people standing around with no other form of entertainment. It could have been brutal after dark, I tell ya. :P

Before getting one of those very expensive mouth guard/ retainer things, go to the drug store and get one of those mouth guards for high school football players. You just soak it in warm water, put it in your mouth and it forms to your teeth and protects 'em.

That's what my dentist told me to do. Much, much cheaper, easy. And if it doesn't work, well, it's worth a try before spending all that money.


Khash.

I'll try that first. I can barely afford my dentist visits for cleaning and polishing as is. I can't even imagine the price the dentist would charge for the same exact thing.

Great tip. :thumbsup:

one which while it did cushion my tooth surfaces and pad things up a bit, I still had pain. I went to a TMJ specialist who told me there is actually a disk, similar to the ones in our spines that slips out of place and suddenly ther is no cushion in that terribly fragile joint.

I now have a splint which is helping a lot. and some very simple exercises which are also helping. not just with the jaw, but also with knotting in the shoulders

hopefully the athletic night guard will do it for you.

:rofl: