Despite all her faults... I honor my Mom today...

She was everything to me as a child but I had to share her with six other kids and I was the second to the youngest. The youngest was a little slow. He needed her attention a lot and got it more than me. He was slow to sit up and slow to crawl, talk... slow at everything it seemed but improved as he got older. But I resented it when I was little but also loved him and protected him from the other kids cruelty and teasing. Due to all the children my mother gave birth to, she was so overwhelmed at times and would lose her temper. There was no birth control back then and if there was, I doubt she'd have used it. I asked her about that once and she said she wouldn't have changed anything for the world and loved everyone of us and she'd wink and say; "I think I'll keep you!". How she managed to keep loving me as a teenager, I'll never know... but she did. I totally hated her back then. She was so 'out of it' and older than all the other Moms and had gray hair and wasn't hip at all and very strict. Very old fashioned but I still loved her, even though I didn't know it then. She wasn't perfect and she lost her temper on me a few times that resulted in beatings and I thought I'd never forgive her for that but I have... I forgave her as I got older but I also swore I'd never treat my children like that and I didn't. As the years went by, my anger dissipated and when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, it went away completely. Instead, I helped care for her, along with my father and my sister the RN and all the nurse's aids and my neighbor. I didn't resent it or her but it was hard. I now understand and know my mother was under a lot of stress when I was little. So many kids to watch over and she did the best she could. None of us are perfect and some are more successful in life than others but she supported all of us, no matter what path we chose in life. I think she taught me forgiveness more than anything. I could sit and dwell on those times that we both were angry and cried or I can choose to remember all the times that were sweet too, when she made us laugh and baked our favorite cake or made our favorite dish or got me that outfit she had said no to the week before and made us feel special on our birthday's and holidays. So, despite all the good and bad memories, today I honor my mother. I know she loved me and did her best for me and all my six brothers and sisters. Thank You, Mom, for all you did for me!

:loveya:

:hug: