Why am I almost invariably attracted to people who would make my parents faint?

Sigh. There is this really cute 20-year-old transgender guy in this LGBT group I'm part of.

If anything ever happened between us, that would confuse my parents, huh? "Hi mom and dad, this is my boyfriend..."

Aah... I never said I was a Kinsey 6.

There is, of course, the age thing as well...

Unless he still lives at home. Because one thing I noticed once I went off to college was that there's a subtle shift in EVERYTHING once you're off on your own. And that's a big barrier when trying to connect with someone who hasn't done that yet, even if it isn't obvious at first. When I was 19 I dated a 20 year old who I just wasn't able to really connect with because she was still living with her parents and was still living a high school kind of lifestyle, despite being in college. Needless to say, it only lasted a couple weeks and ended kinda messily. :\

Just my $0.02. :)

The age thang! I've been with my lover for 18 years and he's 21 years older than me. I was in college (well grad school, I matriculated early) when I met him. And it's lasted 18 years.And we argue and we fight and we've sorta kinda broken up a few times - but 18 years together, good times, bad times, and I never cared about the age difference.

Khash.

It isn't a straight-up age thing, it's just whether or not they've both had that quantum shift in their lives that comes from being on one's own. You were in college when you met your SO, so you'd been there. She's still in high school, she hasn't.

cuz I kept thinking of deleting my post. But you were kinda negative. I agree it's something she needs to think long and hard about, and on rereading I think that's all you meant. IMHO she shouldn't be getting involved at all at her age - but these things happen. Sorry, I can be really sensitive about the age issue -I've gotten so much shit for the age difference between me and my lover. But you were just trying to help her.

Khash.

:hug:

heh heh... you said 'long and hard'... heh... :P

just saying...

:hi:

RL

Sounds fun! Will that be when I tie you up to keep you out of GDP? (Midlo says I can so it's a done deal.)

Khash.

and dragged me out of GDP?

:shrug:

RL

I couldn't find my handcuffs.

Khash.

but it felt like xchrom...

:evilgrin:

RL

Naughty boy!

Khash.

Me? Him? or You?

all of the above...

:9

RL

But you weren't supposed to be feeling him up, you were supposed to be groping me! How am I gonna get you to learn?


Khash.

with age comes power differences and power differences matter.

:evilgrin:

:P

youthful rebelliousness?

...I was particularly intent on pissing off Dad (who's turned out to be a lovely human being).

In my adolescence, I was so pissed at him that I would have done anything to wipe that smug look of of his face (even if it meant my own downfall).

Gratefully, I survived my own propensity for self destruction & lived to see my Dad grow up too.

I was married for 7 years and my parents never knew. They met her twice. They were confused that their gay son was dating a girl.... and they told me she was weird and fat and I could do better. But I didn't want "to do better". I loved her.

It's ok to have a private life and keep it private.

Khash.

The thing is, I don't think my dad cares - and I live with him, not my mom. So yeah....that mght actually be easy.

It's about being 'you,' and not an extension of those folks who raised you to be like them.

Part of individuation is expressing who you are, and the courage to do that in the face of the
disapproval of your authorities, even when you are a 'full-fledged' adult.

When both of my parents died, I realized I had to be an adult now, no more adolescent fantasies.
BUT there's that freedom of being able to do whatever I wanted, I didn't have to worry about
anyone's approval anymore.

Besides, as Woody Allen has said: the heart wants what the heart wants. There's no explaining for that. WE find love where we find it. Go for it...

"boyfriends" to make the entirety of the neighborhood faint, I still can't say why. All I know is that, as a parent, I worry. That's all. That's it. I want what is best for my kids. I am lucky in that WannaB's boyfriend is a nice kid, but I spent a good while looking for the "flaws" as they were. It'll be okay.

Sounds different for sure...

:shrug:

Does age even matter?

Promise not to be angry?

Possibly, though I am not a mental health professional, you seek more of their attention.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. But, looking back, I think that's why my younger sisters went for shock appeal... quite often.

:hug:

You're welcome. :hi:

till you are a little older. the power differences matter less as you get older but are fairly significant at your age.

love and hugs

I generally don't like high schoolers. D-:

Thanks for the advice, though. Hugs back!

however if you limit yourself to older people now, you will delay your own growth

They can bring so much more to a relationship. But be carefull, make sure you're not being used or taken advantage of. Just take time, consider the results and respect yourself. Good luck. (and pri is right, tranny boys can be hot - just don't let your hormones overrule good sense).

Just take it slowly.

Good thang I ain't your Dad or I'd lock you in your bedroom til you were 30!


Khash.

One of my daughters was actively Bi in High school. (We had three kids at home at the time, and they all told on each other, so I always knew Waaay too much) Unfortunately for her, we didn't care. (Made horrible "at least she won't get pregnant that way jokes, tasteless, I know) BUT the little drug dealing shit she later went out with and later broke her heart, him, we didn't like.

Shoulda seen the looks on the faces of my Dad and Mom,
When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom.
They said: "Well, pardon us son, she ain't no kid.
"That's a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWEauNNtPO4

Artist: Confederate Railroad
Song: Trashy Women
Album: Confederate Railroad

Well, I was raised in a sophisticated kind of style.
Yeah, my taste in music and women drove my folks half wild.
Mom and Dad had a plan for me,
It was debutantes and er-symphonies,
But I like my music; I like my women wild.

Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

Shoulda seen the looks on the faces of my Dad and Mom,
When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom.
They said: "Well, pardon us son, she ain't no kid.
"That's a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig.
I said: "I know it dad, ain't she cool, that's the kind I dig."

Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

Instrumental break.

I like 'em sweet, I like 'em with a heart of gold.
Yeah an' I like 'em brassy, I like 'em brazen and bold.
Well, they say that opposites attract, well, I don't agree
I want a woman just as tacky as me.
Yeah, I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

Yeah, an' I like my women just a little on the trashy side,
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed.
Too much lipstick an' er too much rouge,
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused.
An' I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

Yeah, I like my women an' I like 'em on the trashy side.