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Can Anybody Help Me With A Joke Comeback?

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trynotto_giveuphope Donating Member (55 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 10:29 AM
Original message
Can Anybody Help Me With A Joke Comeback?
Hi all,

OK, I've heard variations on the below joke numerous times, and it always annoys me because it's simplistic, at best, and not at all true, at worst. I was wondering: does anybody have a similar joke with "Welcome to the Democratic Party" as a punchline? I'd like to have a comeback the next time I hear the below joke:

I'm reminded of the time that Catherine - a little girl in our neighborhood
told me that she wanted to be President one day. Both of her
parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there with us - and I asked
Catherine - "If you were President, what would be the first
thing you would do?"

Catherine replied - "I would give houses to all the homeless people."

"Wow, what a worthy goal you have there Catherine." I told her (while both
parents beamed), "but, you don't have to wait until you're President
to do that. You can come over to my house and clean up all the dog
poop in the back yard and I will pay you $5 dollars. Then we can go
over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you
can give him the $5 dollars to use for a new house."

Catherine (who was about 4) thought that over for a second, and then replied,
"Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and clean up the dog poop
himself, and you can pay him the $5 dollars."

Welcome to the Republican Party, Catherine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any help?

Thanks!
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:01 AM
Response to Original message
1. a person who offers such inanity would normally be an abysmal moron
they don't require a retort. their own life is punishment enough.
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MrsBrady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
2. i'm thinking n/t
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Chan790 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:07 AM
Response to Original message
3. A retort:
"No no no, A republican would smear the dogshit on everybody's face but his own and then credit his clear complexion to personal responsibility."
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MrsBrady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:14 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. ooooh....i like that one n/t
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MrsBrady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:12 AM
Response to Original message
4. instead of a joke...
Edited on Wed May-28-08 11:13 AM by MrsBrady
maybe you could say something like...

Tell Catherine that

the homeless man lost is job from Enron, can't find another one, lost his house to a sub-prime scam, can't get health care and can't afford to stay on his meds, and can't afford to go to school to get retraining.

and tell the republican that he can pick up his own sh**
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unpossibles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:12 AM
Response to Original message
5. hmm. Maybe after she joins the Party
she could tell the homeless guy that she can't hire him, then pay a Mexican guy $1 to do the job instead.
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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:17 AM
Response to Original message
7. Actually the "joke" says it all
The little girl wants to help the homeless get homes. $5, whether given by the girl or earned by the homeless man, is not going to get the homeless man a home.
Republicans are admittedly not into anything that would allow a person a decent standard of living.
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:17 AM
Response to Original message
8. what I want know is WHERE
can I get a house for $5.oo ???

Welcome to supidity, parents :eyes:
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
9. $5 for what might be a couple hours of labor. Welcome to the Republican Party.
Oh, and of that $5, $1.50 will be taken in taxes to pay to blow the shit out of some foreign nation so we can take their oil.

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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
10. Republicans. Still too lazy to pick up their own shit.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
11. Why pick it up? Everyone knows Republican shit don't stink
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
12. Oh yeah? Well your mother's a whore!
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #12
14. .
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arcadian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 11:36 AM
Response to Original message
13. The jerk store called... they're out of YOU.
n/t
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trynotto_giveuphope Donating Member (55 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-28-08 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
15. Thanks - These Are All Good Answers!
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