Eating in public.

We don't get out very often.

I know that they are louder than you are used to.

Being a single parent in your community,
I'm hope you will help me tonight.



It does take a village.


Just this once, help me, don't dismiss us.

I agree completely.

:hug:

we are against UNDISCIPLINED LITTLE BRATTY KIDS in restaurants

Or, at the very least, with A-1 and medium rare.

yes INDEED

ftp ftp ftp ftp ftp ftp ftp....

UNDISCIPLINED LITTLE BRATTY KIDS

that's what my dad did

I always hoped that my community would be
supportive of my struggle raising two toddlers.

Sometimes I just needed to get out of the house with them.

but if they are little brats it is NOT fine - I work very hard, have little time off and it SUCKS when an evening out I have looked forward to is ruined by a wailing brat - some courtesy PLEASE....take them to Chuck-E-Cheese or other places that cater to brats

I'm paying more for daycare than rent.

I'm near the end of my rope, hoping someone will
step up and offer a hand.

Nope, they're too loud and rude.


We'll leave.

you know what the point is - and I babysit for AUTISTIC KIDS so I know

in kids food. Either way I hope you have a nice diner and don't worry about your kids. If someone gets annoyed they can always move.

and while I understand the other point of view...

it does take a village

and it isn't a terrible thing to have a kid in a restaurant

and to be a single parent, and to have a kid, in a restaurant, well, if you come and tell me you don't like it, I'll say plain and simple "go fuck yourself"... until the establishment bans kids I'll be there with my kid, and if they ban kids, I won't be there and a lot of others won't either.

:grr:

That's what we're all at the restaurant for.


It's the running around and screaming and throwing food and acting in general like meth-monkeys that's the problem. (And before you ask, no, it shouldn't be tolerated from adults either. Granted, I expect it in 24-hour diners after the bars let out--but not in any place that has cloth napkins, y'know.)

Baseline acceptable behavior is: can you sit there in your seat and eat your food without screaming or throwing things or tripping waitstaff or accosting strangers?


If yes, great, regardless of age. (I've seen plenty of really little kids who were fine.)

If not, you don't belong there, regardless of age. (I've seen plenty of smelly drunk greyhairs who weren't.)

It's not an age issue. It's a behavior issue.

I already suffer in silence - I'm not bold enough to complain most of the time.

But not in real life?

I don't know you and I'm not giving you and your kids the stinkeye in person!


I just don't know what people in my position are supposed to do. We're also well aware that parenting advice from strangers is not well-received (and why should it be)?

Basically, I'm the large mass of people that will sit at my table for a little while, talking with my dinner companions about how obnoxious that table over there is. If it gets **really** bad we'll get the rest of our food to go and whisper something to the waitress and never come back if we can help it.

Granted, I don't make your life any less difficult. But I don't make it MORE difficult by getting in your face. I just want to avoid crossing the path again if I can help it. And if someone brings up the topic online, I'll join in and commiserate, sure.

Why did you go to a restaurant where there were children?

Like I said, age doesn't matter. My favorite Indian restaurant here in chicago is full of kids most of the time - the owners have kids, and they eat there every day.

The issue is DISRUPTIVE children. It's not like children "can't help it" because I've seen enough very well-behaved toddlers to know they can.

Have we ever been in the same restaurant? :shrug:


You still haven't answered my question about how those of us with no kids are supposed to participate in your "village", but if I could offer some advice, it'd be to tell your kids as soon as possible that EVERYONE is judged on their **behavior**, no matter how cute they are.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is maybe the parent is
overwhelmed.
End-of-rope.
Daycare-schedule-payments.

You might express some compassion instead of
your pissed off whining about the disruption
of your evening.

I work 2 jobs just to get the bills paid and don't get to go out to eat very often, so when I do, I want it to mean something.

The OP on another thread here tonight was talking about disruptive kids when s/he was trying to have a rare dinner out with his/her sister to mark the anniversary of their brother's death.

I've been in restaurants with an SO trying to begin to work out ways to break up civilly, and was emotionally dying inside but still trying to hold it together in public.

You don't know what's going on in the lives of the other people around you either. Don't assume they have it easier than you. Common courtesy is universal (two simple rules: keep your ass in your seat and your voice to a normal conversational tone. This isn't DIFFICULT, even for children - I don't get the coddling!) and appreciated no matter what.

And it is frightening my children, sir.

:hi:

:hi:

If they're still having trouble with their mom leaving, they truly may not be ready to go out. We all grieve differently.

:hug:

That bottom picture especially is a million kinds of beautiful.

:hug:

and parents or a single parent that is obviously trying.

For me, it's ALWAYS about how the parents are behaving, never the kid(s).

This cafe was the longest floor my kids had seen in months.

They are beautiful!

Love and strength to you- single parenting has got to be tough!

Here's a youtube I made:

Sunrise, Sunset

The single parent with small kids is not you, but a generic whose case you are pleading?

at one time, that's his point.

That song always gets to me-- never heard the Louis Armstrong version before- great!

I have 2 teens- somehow you think their childhood will last forever-- then, in a blink of an eye, it's gone. :cry:

They didn't have a name, like hyper-active or ADHD in the early 60s when I was under 10 years old. They didn't know that giving me sugar-sweetened cereals like Trix or Fruit Loops for Brekkie would make me a "meth monkey" all during the school day. But what they SHOULD have known--what every adult from time immemorial ever since we stood up on 2 legs should know--is that kids need a physical outlet and lots and lots of space to run off their energy.

I also remember being young and seeing lions in the zoo with just cement cages and a few bars. They would pace and pace and never stop. It's what we do to kids when we expect them to sit still in school for hours on end, or plop them in front of a telly too much. I know it's harder, especially as a single parent, to keep your kids physical, but if there isn't organized sports in your neighborhood, maybe you should be the one to organize it.

Bottom line: kids are lots better behaved when they can channel their energy into something headlong physical. Kids are not little grown-ups: their sense of time, their understanding of concepts is far different from ours. I'm 53 and I've never forgotten how I felt when adults tried to explain things to me. It's like they spoke an alien language, like they threw Everest in front of me and told me I should be able to climb it if I just gave it a try.

I know you didn't ask for this--to be raising kids on your own while you killed yourself working to keep a roof over their heads. But it's what you got--and you gotta have enough of yourself left to meet more than just their basic needs.

Throw 'em into sports or music, and try to participate and really listen to what they need.