Who wants to join my army? I have put xchrom in charge of designing our uniform

i dont want no cliques, junta's, friends etc

I want an army but one that carries no weapons (scared of guns)

I'm in. Perhaps we can carry designer handbags instead.

:hi:

that really rich blue that almost shimmers.

our weapon is our keyboard.

but what would my assignment be?

<>

Because I'm sick and tired of playing second-fiddle to a two bit wrestle man and his yellow dog.

I think they've kinda jumped the shark though. They haven't made me laugh out loud in a long time :(

An army with no weapons? What do I do with my 375 Magnum or my 9mm pocket pistol? Or my straight razor? We gotta have weapons!

And you should have put ME in charge of uniforms - I'd do something in black, a little Victorian, a little Nazi. We'ld look cool and everyone would be scared of us.

Khash.

:)

You can wear green eyeshadow with your uniform. But you're gonna look like a Nazi hooker.

Khash..

:spank:

I want an assault rifle!

And a whip!








Sorry. It's the heat. :P

I'll let you have an Uzi, but the whip has to wait til you can prove you know what you're doing.

Khash.

The Barney Doll!

Who's with me!

I said "We go nekid, drink and threaten our enemies with Barney dolls!"
Who's with me!

I look good in turquoise

or


dark blue


(just saying)


:)



lost

:bounce:

The tasty alcoholic beverage of choice for a very stylish army.

:P

:P

"I see, sir. Short service or long service commission, sir?"

"As long as possible, please."

"Right, well, I'll just take a few particulars and then there'll be a few forms to sign, and of course we'll need references and then a full medical examination by the..."

"Yes, yes, yes, I see. I was just wondering whether it would be possible for me to join... the women's army?"

"The Women's Royal Army Corps, sir?"

"Yes. I was just thinking, you know, if it was possible for me to have my choice, I'd prefer to be in the Women's Royal Army Corps."

"Well, I'm afraid that the people that recruit here normally go straight into the Scots Guards."

"Which is all... men... I suppose?"

"Yes, it is."

"Yes. Are there any regiments which are more... effeminate than others?"

"Well, no sir. I mean, apart from the Marines, they're all dead butch."

"You see, what I really wanted was a regiment where I could be really quiet and have more time to myself to work with fabrics and create new concepts in interior design."

"Working with fabrics and experimenting with interior design?!?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well, you want the Durham Light Infantry, then, sir."

"Oh."

"Oh, yes. That's the only regiment that's really doing something new with interior design, with colour, texture, line and that."

"I see."

"Oh, yes, I mean their use of colour with fabrics is fantastic! I saw their pattern book the other day — beautiful, beautiful! Savage tans, great slabs of black, set against aggressive orange! It really makes you want to shout out, 'This is good! This is real!'"

"Really?"

"Oh, yes. I mean, the Inniskillin Fusiliers and the Anglian Regiment are all right if you're interested in the Art Nouveau William Morris revival bit, but if you really want a regiment of the line that is really saying something about interior decor, then you've got to go for the Durham Light Infantry!"

"Oh, I've had enough of this! I'm handing in my notice!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, when I applied for this job I thought I'd get a few decent lines, but you end up doing the whole thing! I mean, my last five speeches have been 'Really,' 'Really,' 'I see,' 'I see' and 'Really'. I wouldn't give those lines to a dog!"

"All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different — I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus."

skit on hand for this. :P

:hi:

Which accounts for my status on this planet as an utter geek. :silly:

they are sure to be tear-away uniforms...

:9

RL

:P

Can we use wit and irony, instead? :-)

If I don't let off some of my sarcasm at the enemy, I might let it bottle up inside until I lose it and unleash it upon my fellow soldiers. :scared:

Barney Doll!

:shrug:

And is it fun? :P

THAT sounds like fun. ;)

i want people who like to have coctails and brunch.. and wear nice clothes.. and have fun accessories.

:P

leeroysphits especially requested them: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7812231&mesg_id=7812231

:evilgrin:

but they're a great place to store the standard issue garrison cap, commonly called ...

well, I'd have to use a "DU-forbidden word", so I won't use the common name.

If you wore one, you'd know what they're called.

Now, one more time, which foot is the left one?

:hi:

You mean this army isn't clothing optional?

I'll have to think about it.

:P

flats, boots, heels -- all will be determined by what each enlistee can walk in best.
{and there will be walk offs}

there will be uniforms for before 5:00 pm and uniforms for after 5:00 pm.

there will be uniforms for 'drill' -- as well as parade.

and there will be Brunch uniforms.

:loveya:

three times a year -- fall/winter and spring/summer -- and of course
resort/cruise.

all enlistees will be required to attend resort/cruise.

:loveya:

Make it work!

Since I'm married, I'm used to following orders. ;-)

And, any army with you as a general isn't exactly unarmed.

Perhaps a beret with a pompom on top.

It's just not a uniform without a Sam Browne belt... B-)

for water bottles, ipods, cell phones, navigation tools, corkscrew, the essentials.

and that was close enough to military service for me :)