My 80 year old dad called me a snob and hung up on me.

I'm not destroyed, I'm annoyed and clueless. My bitty problem is I have tickets to visit him on July 1, in NY.
Hmmm.

I hope your in-person visit goes mch better. :hug:

My 86yr old dad used to do that, get a little confused. Don't take it personal. Unless of course you are a snob.:sarcasm: :hi:

My Mom's MIL's mind is starting to go a bit, and she says things like that. And accuses people of stealing things she's misplaced.

A woman I used to work with was starting to lose it, and one of the first clues was that she got really mean. Then she started recording things on a tape player and playing them back to me, asking if I heard the ghosts talking too, when the only sounds were totally routine. She got really paranoid too- all of this very quickly, over the course of maybe three months.

:)

nt

Some they communicate in very different ways, that's just the way it is. My mom is nearly 78 and has said and done (physically mind you) far worse than what has been mentioned here to me. And only very recently come back around after years of estrangement. But she isn't senile she's from Indiana, and a retired accountant for the state of California. She's just snippy and snarky that's all.

Do you know the particulars, the dynamics of their relationship? Are you friends with babylonsister? If so then say so. Not knowing either myself, I try to identify ways in which to understand such matters without casting aspersions/instabilities upon others as others are inclined to do.

Perhaps you should suggest to them that they aren't being "nice" either :shrug:

You try as best you can to ignore weird and mean things they say.....

My parents are both alive and over 80 and they are impossible. You just try to deal with it as best you can, sometimes it is hard as hell.....

pain in the patooty! Now I have to figure out how to 'play nice' because my plane ticket is bought to go visit him next month. Then I have to figure out how to deal with him for a week. :(

Do you have siblings close by that look after him?

I found early on in my Father's descent, that doing things he used to do is nice. It is almost like he has never done them before. When we are driving around he will marvel at a building that has been there for twenty years "I never saw that" he will say. But a little trip somewhere will really make him happy, and tire him out and gve you something to talka bout besides the dy to day stuff that is a strain.

a lot more reality-based, and nicer! And no siblings close by; he drives when I visit (he's the man, doncha know). I just e-mailed her and asked what was up; I offered to stay elsewhere, which sucks because I was going to see him/them. :( I'm sure we'll get past this, but it hurts, and I had to vent.
Thanks for listening.

My dad will let anyone drive him around BUT ME. Whenever we go anywhere he drives. And it is terrifying. He changes lanes without looking or signaling, stops in the middle of busy roads and almost never stops for signs. To top it all of my Dad is prone to fits of road rage and he chases people down that flip him off (Which is all the time).

They don't realize that it increases our stress levels to he point of mania when they drive. But it is all about control and if they were controlling when you were young, they are more so now.

Anyway, I feel for you, just be glad the burden is not soley on your shoulders. My sibling want nothing to do with my parents, in fact my brother moved to Montana to get away from them in February.

I drove him exactly three times in my life, and it was only because I made medical personnel tell him that I had to drive. We once were driving home, about an hour's length, and he got a terrible cramp in his foot, so had to pull over. I offered to drive, even dug out my license and showed it to him, LOL, but he wouldn't go for it. I was the kid and he was the Dad and that's the way it was. I sympathize... x(

As for the changing lanes and not signaling, try riding with a 100-year-old deaf man. I loved the man dearly, was the closest thing I had to a grandfather, but he terrified me when I rode with him, or even tried to follow him somewhere. He finally gave up driving when he was just over 100. My Dad was only 60...:shrug:

particularly if something has changed.

he's strange. And annoyed...almost always.

I don't care about age.....no parent should call you that.....

She didn't speak to her sister for a year because of an argument over the potting of a begonia. The older she got the more hard of hearing she became and held grudges over the things she thought people said. That was sure difficult to deal with! "You know what you said!"- when I really had no clue. None.

Good that you're not taking it personal. It's really not about you. Maybe he'll forget about it by July 1.

more than that for me to feel hurt or annoyed at my 70-80 year old parents. It would actually make me more determined to go see him, just to make sure he's OK. My mother started to lose her marbles a bit 5-6 years ago (but a certain miracle drug - I do not say that lightly, as I think many drugs are overused/overprescribed - has helped her mental well-being/forgetfulness/irritability enormously), and said a bunch of really weird, inappropriate, and sometimes cruel things.

Good idea to talk to your dad's gf...

I hope your visit is better. Could have just been a fluke, or could be something you need to get a little more used to, if his normal 'filters' are starting to degrade and/or he's getting a bit more confused.

I'm so sorry...

:hug:

oh course he was fifty and I was calling collect from jail so possibly different circumstances. :P

But snob? Well hey that's kind of an opinion rather than a straight insult. I mean people of that generation think anyone who refuses to eat fast food or watch network television is a snob...

I certainly wouldn't stop a visit based on one talk....$600 plane tickets yes but not a talk. B-)

I would bet that he won't remember, and be thrilled to see you. My mother doesn't seem to...:shrug: