When is it the right time to tell someone you love them?

I have been with this person 4 months now. I know he likes me a lot and I like him a lot. But we haven't said any more than that. I'm afraid to be the first to say it actually. We talk about the future and I have actually encouraged him to apply for a job in Seattle, even though it's thousands of miles from here. He hesitated a little before telling me he wanted to apply for it but I said that I would be more than willing to move to Seattle, since there seem to be a fair amount of jobs in my profession out there as well. He's encouraged me to apply (now that I have my MS) for jobs, even if they are out of town. And I have, specifically for one in the Houston area. So things appear to be going well. I know that I worry too much about things and I am not particularly worried about this question. But I have never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a few months so this is really new territory for me.

If you have to ask yourself if it's right, it isn't. One day you'll be talking, and it will just be the right time.

At least that is the way it works for me. Whenever I felt like I HAD to say it, I really wasn't in love. I was just fooling myself.

Thanks.

I suspect that you both already love one another...

You don't just convey that with words, or even those three little words, you know...

Your actions, the way you look at him, all that conveys your feelings...

I wouldn't get too hung up on who said it first, either...

You could lead off by saying something along the lines of...I'm so lucky to have found you..I'm very fond of you...

That may give him the courage to respond ...

Go for it!

:hug:

I mean words are important too, of course.

I'm not really worried about it, just pondering.

And for sure it is possible to get too hung up on who said what and when they said it.

Thanks.

(Pointing at you) NOW!!!!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Whenever I said it first, it never worked out anyway and I usually felt like a doofus for putting myself out there (I really am not one for putting my heart out there only to get stomped on). It's not a gender thing, but more of a "me thing" in regard to trust.

I have never been the one to say it first. The only relationship in which it happened at all didn't work out so well, so maybe that's why I am a little nervous/anxious about this.

He's a good person; I am willing to just wait and see what happens.

I had an ex who got angry when I said it first because that is the woman's role. I don't buy into roles but I've never said it first since.

she was messing with your head :D

really though...it is the guy who should lead the way in matters of the heart.

The fact that you concern yourself with these questions shows how much the outcome matters to you. Sense the adventure.

I am all,"I love you, deal with it!"...it usually turns out good.

it's worthless. It really is. It only causes pain and anger and depression. Learn to be happy with yourself and your cat, and you will be much happier. and yes, I know i sound like Yogi berra.

to hell with going first on that one. no way in hell, I am saying it first. no fucking way!

I guess I will wait.

it'll happen. :D

You're responsible for your feelings....your SO is not (responsible for your feelings).

I think.

Say so!

don't say it yet. Work on communicating however you do feel to him and letting him feel that. But when you do know, tell him. Sometimes two people are assuming all kinds of things by not really talking about it.

It was the first time we held hands and she came to the motel where I was living (sort of, I lived in a garage but had just moved there from the hotel and had a room there) that night. We knew each other two weeks at work, and fell hard for each other.

That was 10 years ago.

For us, when you know it you know it and say it. Each person is different though.

Both our cars were broke down, she took a cab 40 miles to see me, I had no furniture but a table and two chairs (slept on a mat on the floor, no couch, bed, tv, not even a pot to cook in and I washed my clothes in the sink and dried them over the shower stall).

When you are in love you know it - and you never have to ask anyone else what it is you are feeling IMHO :)