Well, looks like it's over for my best friend's cokehead brother - support wise.

My best friend's little brother is 26. He just finished his second stint in rehab. This time it was a very expensive facility in Northern California. It was six months and we all figured that would help him. But no, I talked to my friend last night and it turns out he has gone into his old ways again... just like that. So, he caused some kind of scene the other night and his parents called the cops and such.
I think they've kicked him out now. They've spent thousands of dollars and spent six years trying to help this kid. And he seems completely unable to do it. And when it is at a point where their safety is threatened you can't blame them. This kid had everything too. Good family, friends and a multi-million dollar family business to run with his brother if he wanted it.

We all cared about him so much. But there just comes a breaking point. Years ago I offered to take him in when I was living out of town to get him away from the life. I'd never make the offer again - it's just futile to try.

I know this is silly, but I watch "Intervention" on TV, and it appears that, with some addicts, the only thing that works is telling them that if they don't get it together, they'll lose ever bit of emotional, financial support provided by the family.

I hope that maybe this will startle your friend's brother into committing to sobriety in the very near future.

Edit to add: I've got a family member with addiction problems....every rock-bottom we've hit was evidently not low enough...so I certainly empathize with you and this guy's family.

:(

My brother had the same thing; multiple rehabs, lots of loving family, etc. He was fortunate though, in that he found his "bottom" on his own and pulled out. Just got his 25yr chip. You shouldn't give up on your friend, just don't let him manipulate you. Good luck to you all.

with a bullet in their back.

But the death thing will probably happen. this kid is a train wreck.

All the opportunity in the world. He started doing drugs, fell in with the wrong group of people, and ended up with his brains blown out.

some days, I am not so sure

Or a good way to remove a career miscreant from society?

what's the difference

You are unbelievable.

Not saying I agreed with it.
I didn't say that this person is not worthy of compassion. I've had a lot of drug addiction in my family...my brother, my dad, my uncle. My brother and dad got clean and lived, my uncle didn't and ended up dead.
Those are his choices.

This has always been one of my favorite Hoyt Axton/Steppenwolf songs
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QKraf_V0ZPc

shit happens, y'know

And dude, when you get the gateau, make sure to say yes when they offer to pour cream on it.

They either reach that point on their own... or they don't.

Best thing that can happen to him is to get kicked out and lose that support

Sounds harsh?

No, it's the most loving thing they can do. Paying his way out in any way just enables his problems and gives him the opportunity to do it again.

Some people have to go a long way down before they hit a bottom and make a choice to do something different. Raising the bottom in any way possible is necessary if people want to help.

If he spends some time on the street he will either decide he wants help for real, or he may die from his disease, but at least he's not being enabled to die.

Sorry that you and your friend and family are dealing with this, it is unfortunately the way of life it seems for many, many people, to have someone in their lives who is addicted to alcohol or other drugs.

:pals:

I just have to wonder why our governments have such an aversion to psychoactive substances. There is such a substance out there that can interrupt addiction to opiates and possibly other substances, including nicotine. It's called ibogaine and could revolutionize the treatment of addicts. But, you end up on a "trip" for three days, under the constant help of a clinician or other medical professional. They continue to do the psychological treatment after, but it's really the drug that has started the recovery. Read about it and maybe your friend's family will look into it :)

with my ex's brother. The sorry crackhead has been in and out of rehab more times than I can remember.

But this kid has no excuse

And some people are more prone to be addicted. The sad thing is that he has the opportunity to really help himself and just can't seem to.

It takes a lot for someone like that to ever really get help. Rock bottom isn't always the bottom. Hopefully something major will happen that will help to change his life for the better. It is so hard on the family. Sorry.

Yikes... So sad.

He's been vacillating between abuse of various controlled substances and precarious sobriety for about 20 years now. Several trips to rehab, none of them effective in the long term. My mom wouldn't throw him out for fear that he'd die under some bridge somewhere. Now he's 34 and living with my folks, who really can't afford to "keep" him. I think he would have had a better chance if he'd gotten cut off at some point.

Not that I want my little brother dead under a bridge, but my mother has spent his entire teenage and adult life propping up his various addictions for fear of losing him. It's been hell on the family. It would have been hard for mom to let him go, but I think it would have been better for both her and my dad (I washed my hands of the whole situation years ago).