1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.It also is enough waterpower to float an inflatable raft down the stairs.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.True.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.A three-year old boy can bring the entire population of a small town to stunned silence during a Flag Day assembly.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft room.It'll also turn the cat into a lethal flying object.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.True. So fucking true.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.A superball will ricochet back into the halogen lamp turning the bulb into an incendiary device.
7.) A five pound bag of flour will fit into a toilet bowl with room to spare.A toilet makes a bad mixer when you need 12 gallons of paper mache.
8.) Whenever you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.True.
9.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.Enough to evacuate the school.
10.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.Boy Scout Power!!!
11.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.True.
12.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.Never did this one. Did this instead:
http://www.angelfire.com/electronic/cwillis/microwave.html Created a conductive plasmoid solid and set the microwave on fire.
13.) Super glue is forever.I hope not. Maurice might still be glued to the fencepost in the woods.
14.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.No on Jello. Several tons of salt will however; when combined with filling the shallow end with sand does not recreate the beach.
15.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.Or salt.
16.) DVD players do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches.Nintendos don't like superglue.
17.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.Neither do tarpaulins.
18.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.True.
19.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.True.
20.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.True.
21.) The fire department in Austin,TX has a 5-minute response time.The fire dept. in Hartford CT has a 1 minute response time when you live across the street.
22.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.It does not exercise the goldfish either.
23.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.Setting the dryer on cool spin-dry is not like a Ferris wheel for the cat.
24.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.True.
25.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.No idea.
26.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.No need. :evilgrin:
P.S. My brother's cat survived to a ripe old age...not sure how that happened.
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