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My four year old asked me what it's like to be dead.

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midnight armadillo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-08 11:02 PM
Original message
My four year old asked me what it's like to be dead.
I answered: "I don't know, I've never been dead. And nobody else knows either." He looked at me like I was making a joke, but then realized that I wasn't trying to be funny. I think he liked my answer.

Anyone else have experience handling preschoolers and the whole concept of death?
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Solon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-08 11:05 PM
Response to Original message
1. From what I remember, from that age...
granted, its kinda fuzzy, but I feared death and wouldn't fall asleep because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up, stuff like that. Be prepared for that type of behavior, once your child realizes that death is permanent, they will fear it. You answer is a good one though! :)
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mcctatas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-08 11:05 PM
Response to Original message
2. My 5 year old is in denial...
when my moms cat died he convinced himself that "Shambo just likes to stay in the basement now", when my moms dog died it was "Liza went to the farm" and when my grandmother died it was "Grammy Katie moved to Wyoming" (I shit you not, Wyoming = death in his twisted little brain;) )
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boilerbabe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 04:04 AM
Response to Reply #2
10. Haha! That kid has a great imagination!! n/t
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Love Bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 08:35 AM
Response to Reply #2
12. Isn't Cheney from Wyoming?
Makes sense to me!
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mcctatas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 08:24 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. Oh yeah...
and since my little guy picked up on my habit of saying "Oh no, it's the devil" every time cheney is on TV, maybe Wyoming is Hell...
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-08 11:10 PM
Response to Original message
3. gosh yeah, he kept asking why.... i said there's not enough room on the planet for all of us...
Edited on Thu Sep-04-08 11:12 PM by bettyellen
at once.

poor child was devastated that i no longer had a father. i assured him i had it as good as it gets and he should worry about other people.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-08 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
4. Peter Fonda apparently knew at one point.
Or so she said.
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MilesColtrane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 03:37 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. That's so inside, you're making me feel like I've never been born.
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instantkarma Donating Member (489 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 02:06 AM
Response to Original message
5. Show him McCain's speech
then he'll know.
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 02:56 AM
Response to Original message
6. Dark, cold, stuffy, and the worms nibble on you
And your calfs get all crampy.


:-)
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 03:14 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Nice
Don't forget bugs feasting on you, crawling in and out of all orifices with impunity, laying their eggs and stuff.

Yep, that's just the stuff a four year old needs to hear. :)

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

I tell them that you don't feel anything in the sense that you didn't feel anything before you were born.
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dropkickpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 07:22 AM
Response to Reply #7
11. Actually, when my grandfather died
Dropkid was very happy to hear about how he was feeding worms and stuff now (She was 4 when he died). I've never played cutesy about death with her, just matter of factly told her it happens to everyone and everything, and it's a necessary part of life. She has decided she wants to be buried with lots of worms because they're good for the soil (and she is the worm crusader, saving earthworms from sidewalk death after every shower). She's awesome.
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MilesColtrane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 03:43 AM
Response to Original message
9. Tell him that if you've been very, very bad, it's like a Nickelback concert that goes on forever.
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 11:17 AM
Response to Reply #9
17. oh gods, what a thought
:scared:
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av8rdave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 09:14 AM
Response to Original message
13. Just tell him to expect a dramatic change of scenery
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 09:23 AM
Response to Original message
14. Preschoolers ask the coolest questions.
The challenge (and the fun of it) is to make the answers as simple as possible, using very simple language. Because when they understand you, they keep talking, and it's waaaaay cool talking to the new kids.
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NJmaverick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
15. Tell him it's like attending the RNC convention, only it never ends
O8)
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Ishoutandscream2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 10:28 AM
Response to Original message
16. Tell her to ask Peter Fonda
Hard core Beatle fans will understand this reference.
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My Good Babushka Donating Member (966 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
18. We had that talk
When mine was 3. We had to go over everything. Can I still walk around? No. Can I talk? No. Can I see things? No.
When you die you are put into a box and they put you under the ground and sometimes people put flowers over you.

Then he said, Can I just say very quietly that I like those flowers?
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LostInAnomie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
20. Your final act is to poop yourself.
The upside though, is that someone else has to clean it up this time.
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Fox Mulder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 08:44 PM
Response to Original message
21. I'm 26 and I am still trying to understand the concept of death.
Edited on Fri Sep-05-08 08:46 PM by Fox Mulder
The whole subject scares the hell out of me. :scared:
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Doctor_J Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 08:53 PM
Response to Original message
22. You shouldn't have let him watch McSame's speech
It frightened me, too and I'm 50
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 09:11 PM
Response to Original message
23. The correct answer is:
Edited on Fri Sep-05-08 09:12 PM by Withywindle
"Shriek like that when I'm trying to take a nap again and you'll find out!" :evilgrin:

No, seriously, I don't know. My earliest memory of death was when I was 5 or 6 and my mom was laid out with grief because her best friend committed suicide, and my dad, who's a great guy but not the most tactful person on the planet, said, "She's sad because her friend shot herself because *she* was sad."

You can imagine how that explanation went over. I was a neurotic child.
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midnight armadillo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-06-08 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. whoa!
Clearly your dad did not think that response through.

Fortunately my son's learning about death has mostly come about by observing squashed summer bugs. He's also asked where my father is, who passed away 17 years ago when I was a teenager.
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-05-08 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
24. My son was 5 when the concept of death really hit him
Edited on Fri Sep-05-08 09:37 PM by latebloomer
We were sitting in a pizzeria and he started questioning me. When I told him I was going to die someday he burst out crying tears of terror, shock and sorrow. I told him it wouldn't happen for a long, long time, but that didn't seem to help.

I'm crying now just thinking of it.
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