Sigh! I am in SUCH a bad mood tonight...neighbor troubles...help...?

Everything was fine today, but I have allowed myself to get really pissed off for a dumb reason--one of the neighbor brats. Not going to bore anyone with a long story, but suffice to say the neighbors are...um...not our cup of tea. We have just avoided them in the nearly three years we've lived here--no animosity or anything.

The most annoying thing (aside from the gigantic billows of pot smoke wafting into our living room on Friday nights) is the three kids have no manners (and nobody teaching said manners). They were constantly in our yard--even up on our deck. They have no sense of boundaries, no perception of "not yours". We have asked them to leave our yard nicely. No dice. Mr. MG has been all tall and scary and has yelled at them. That lasts for about a day. We finally erected a stockade fence on the property line between us and them. That lasted a couple of months.

Then, today, when I was outside with MG Jr., filling in some holes left by our tree guy (ground some stumps), the middle child, who's 10 or 11, I think, was running around like an idiot with some of her friends. They came down the sidewalk, paused at our side driveway (they live on the corner and our yard wraps like an L around theirs), looked straight at me, and then the neighbor girl and one of the boys ran pell mell into our yard. It was obvious they did it on a dare. I was so incensed that they did this on purpose that I yelled at them. (Said nothing more than "EXCUSE ME. Can I help you with something?!" and the girl who didn't run into our yard called them back to the sidewalk, a little frightened.)

Later on we were all out in our yard and the girl started shouting from her bedroom window, "You're ugly! You're ugly!" Of course we ignored it and eventually she stopped.

But I'm still upset. At their intentionally baiting me, at myself for yelling at them, and out of fear that this is going to escalate.

I know I should talk to the father, but he's not much better. What should I do? :shrug:

It's pretty obvious that the girl understands that your yard is off limits but it seems that she doesn't understand why. That's up to her parents to teach her. You're just doing them a service by letting them know that she acted out in a way that they may like to address.

Yeah, it may do no good but if you're calm and concerned only a completely obtuse parent wouldn't follow up with a child that old.

But you're right--it's the only chance I have of stopping this before it goes any farther (I see vandalism in her future, if you know what I mean). Not tonight, though. Tonight I could throttle a warthog.

Neighbor conflicts stink. I have very good neighbors on two sides but the third --oy. :hi:

:rofl:

Thanks for the giggle. It helps, truly.

We have excellent neighbors on our other side and across the street (two families across the street, in fact), as well as pleasant people we hardly ever see or talk to, behind us. But these folks are trashy and filthy and generally scuzzy. The one thing that mitigated having to live next to them was that the kids didn't seem evil, just clueless. But this girl is heading toward the dark side now that puberty's starting to kick in. :eyes:

:hide:

No, really, sorry you're having a rough day. :hug:

Damn you kids! I'm keepin' your ball, too!

the problem rather nicely. Why you are at it, you could report the giganctic billows of pot smoke.

And he's been itching to make a phone call to our village's finest. I really thought the pot smoke (every Friday night for a month, until he worked his way through his quite potent stash) was going to do it, but he refrained. Such restraint!
:rofl:

They sound like the squirrels that live in our yard. They come up on the porch and chew up the railings etc. Mr Moose used to go out and yell at them and they loved that and came back more and brought their friends. I told Mr to go out singing as if he didn't care and that made them stop enjoying it. Now I have it screened in with heavy wire and when they get up on the screen, I squirt them with hornet spray. Don't hit them, but they don't like it and stay away. I think that if you ignore them it might work. Don't mess with them as they might do you harm. Don't be hurt by their bad manners. I lkie you. Please feel better....Mrs. Moose

I mean, they're rather directionless, spazz out a lot, make a mess of things and like to dig small holes in their yard! Hmmm! (I won't squirt them with hornet spray, though. And I'll have to avoid telling Mr. MG about that, because he'll REALLY WANT TO.)

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Seriously, thanks for your kind words. I will have to wait and see what happens with the girl. I'd rather ignore it, but if she acts out more, I'll HAVE to talk to her father, even though I'd rather not.

If they are like you say and let the kids act like that, it would just make it worse to talk to the dad. We lived next to a family like that and they are just that type and reason and kindness only make them think you a fool. I'm 75 and had experience with people and it is best to be happy around them and not show them any mind at all. Could you move away? I have never been so happy since leaving them even though the area was a nice rural one with all nice neighbors, this family robbed and teased the whole neighborhood. I hope I helped you some. Mrs. Moose

you can bet their farm they will be the first to sue. Better to send them a strong message of strength, that you will not tolerate them over stepping their boundries. It's like the school yard bully, you stand up to them and they back down.

However, I don't want other people to dictate how (or where) I live my life. What can I say? I'm a stubborn Sicilian. :evilgrin: We don't want to live here forever (been here three years and the neighborhood is mostly nice, but village living can be a little too close for comfort sometimes--like now)--however, we're in the middle of a huge renovation (DIY--takes FOREVER), so we're by no means market ready, and likely won't be for at least a couple of years.

And there is one strange thing about our village: Nobody here is evil. It's kinda creepy in a good sort of way--there is NO crime, the bad kids aren't really bad, and everybody knows everybody. So the father isn't scary or evil or anything--he's just a punk-ass pothead who never grew up. I've heard him trying to discipline his kids in his own way, so I know he has some concept of what parenting is all about, and I get the feeling that if I spoke to him, he'd try to do something to rein his kid. I just wish it wouldn't come to that.

Being "Mr/Ms. nice guy/gal" won't generally work. From your description, it won't work here.

Simple problem: you smell pot. Simple answer: you call cops.

Simple problem: kids are on your deck. Simple answer: you call cops.

Also, start documenting (cheap digital camera works well)

Consider a home security system

Find out if your neighbors are owners or rentors (a simple search of the local tax records and knowing the neighbors last name usually clues you in here). If they rent, let the land lord know what's going on.

Do they have a boat parked in the driveway? Let their grass grow too high? Hmmm...sounds like a job for code enforcement.

But there's another element to all this, as I just posted upthread--this village is like Mayberry. Nobody's really evil, and nobody wages any wars. Everyone on our street just puts up with our neighbor and his falling-down house and his kids roaming all over the place day and night and his weedy lawn because, well, yanno, "I knew him when he was this big--always knew he wasn't going to amount to much...but he means well..." etc. So there's a social and political line we have to be aware of and think hard about crossing or not.

Look, if they're using drugs, and their kids are acting out, you do no one any favors playing "go along and get along."

If he means well, let him act well.

I often joke about how plain ol' STUPID these kids are and put it down to second-hand pot smoke, but as a mother myself, I'm seriously worried about their welfare. Until Lil Missy did her thing yesterday, I actually felt sorry for the kids and tried to be nice to them (while Mr. MG just flat-out hated them) because of the state of their household.

It's unfortunate that speaking up could have serious repercussions for us--it won't take a rocket scientist to figure out who ratted them out (like we care). And if the cops are buds with good ol' neighbor guy, nothing will come of it (the truth of village life). But I agree that it would be worth the risk.

Haven't smelled any pot lately. Will have to keep a nose out, so to speak.

comes on crank up real loud and aim the speakers toward their house. Maybe the whole song, that'll drive 'em bats.

Good revenge for all of the neighbor's Dead tunes, cranked loud while I'm trying to get MG Jr. to sleep (thank goodness for window air conditioners). I used to like the Dead--been to a bunch of concerts and all--but sheesh, ever since we lived next to this guy, the sound of a "doodlee doodlee doodlee" type guitar jam elicits such a negative Pavolvian response in me that I feel like I'm gonna essplode!

:nuke:

Frankly, where I live the radio plays old 60's music and now I'm sick of a lot of it. Never liked the Grateful Dead all that much. Just country hippie music or something. It's okay, but I wouldn't miss it.