Am I strange?

Well, of course, I am... But now that I have your attention, let me be more specific! :)

As expected, the word of my newly-single status has hit the gossip mill (which I hate, but what can you do?) of the relatively small community and crowds where I run and frolic. Now, all of a sudden, guys are hitting on me and it makes me uncomfortable, quite frankly. I guess I should be flattered and enjoying it, but it's enough to keep me home most nights. I've been telling people that it's just "too soon" but I know from past experience that it's not going to get any better.

I don't know what the root is. I can honestly admit that I don't take complements well, either; again, they make me feel uncomfortable and anxious- I don't know how to respond, usually. Part of it could be shyness- I AM shy, but not horribly so. And a lot of the fellas hitting on me are people that I know to some extent. But that, in itself, makes it weird- I see them as friends, and not potential "dates."

My gut tells me that some self-esteem issues might be at work here. I just really don't see myself as any great catch, so it puzzles me (on some levels) why anyone would be interested. This isn't to say that I'm depressed, or have a pathologically low opinion of myself (after all- children and small animals generally don't run away screaming at the sight of me! LOL).

Anyhoo... I was just wondering if anybody else got the heebie-jeebies about being scouted in that way. As I said- it SHOULD be something that is comforting or ego-boosting, but instead it makes me want to crawl under a rock and avoid social situations... <sigh>.... What a mess, I am!

Thanks for any input, Loungers!

A lot of us have felt the gut-wrenching pain of having a relationship end, so I bet the guys that are hitting on you know what you're going through (or, at least, they can empathize). Just be honest with them about the place you're in and what you're looking for. If you're looking to take a complete break from dating and sex, and want just friends only, say so. If you don't want to date but you're open to having "friends with benefits," say that too.

My experience has been that when you take this approach, the guys that show interest in you will respect you more for being open and honest with them, even if they are not looking for the same things you are. At least they know up front where they stand so they won't waste time and energy pursuing something with you that may not lead them to where they want to be.

I've been where you are, and I know that it sucks. But keep your chin up, and know that as your heart heals your outlook on dating and relationships will improve.

:pals:

All in all, I've been pretty honest. Those who know me well also know the full, unabridged story- and therefore know that I have some serious baggage to sort through and put away right now. But really, this symptom has haunted me ever since I came out. As a (pretending) straight man, I was rarely the aggressor in dating. When I came out, and all of a sudden there were people hitting on me every trip to the bar... I dunno- it just seemed weird, and it still kind of does. And this, in conjunction with my ex hounding me about how sorry he is, and won't I give him another chance, etc.... Gah! I just want to pack up my stuff and move to a deserted island and sit on the beach drinking Mojitos all day and night....

:pals: