I'm starting a cult. - Democratic Underground

Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:11 AM
Original message

I'm starting a cult.

Here's the Recruitment Video. If you want to join, post your qualifications here and I'll let you know what position you'll have.

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lost-in-nj

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:14 AM
Response to Original message

1. Well

Edited on Fri Nov-21-08 10:16 AM by lost-in-nj

I'm a pev and I would
like to bring up the rear

sir

:evilgrin: :bounce:

oh yeah this PROVES
you are certifiable... :rofl:

lost

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:22 AM
Response to Reply #1

3. Excellent.

You will be the religion's rear-bringer-upper.

Why would anyone need proof of my certifiability? It's not like it's a secret.

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malta blue

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:21 AM
Response to Original message

2. I am the Horse Biter.

:shrug:

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:25 AM
Response to Reply #2

4. You know why 99% of cults fail in their first year?

No horse-biter. With you on board, we can't fail!

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Heidi

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:34 AM
Response to Original message

5. Do you have an opening for something like

"blind follower"? If so, please consider my application.

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:46 AM
Response to Reply #5

7. We need all the blind followers we can get.

No mavericks allowed. You're in, baby!

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Heidi

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:48 AM
Response to Reply #7

9. Thank you.

Edited on Fri Nov-21-08 10:50 AM by Heidi

As a longtime fan of Mojo Nixon, I feel certain that I'm more than qualified for the position of "blind follower." :D

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(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Nov-21-08 10:34 AM
Response to Original message

6. I think you know MY qualifications...

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:47 AM
Response to Reply #6

8. You'll be in charge of my harem.

They'll be needing a strict regimen of jello-wrestling every Friday.

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Aristus

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Fri Nov-21-08 10:52 AM
Response to Original message

10. I should start one too. Members have to give me all of their money, and the women of my choice

must always submit to having sex with me.

You know, if you call it a religion, you can get people to do any damn-fool thing you want them to.

It could have made my high school years a lot happier... B-)

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #10

13. If you do start one, we'll have to go to war.

There can be only one.

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arcadian

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:12 AM
Response to Original message

11. I have 20,000 packets of Koolaid saved up.

For the Apocalypse.

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:44 AM
Response to Reply #11

14. No koolaid.

We use vodka, kahlua, and one. Bring the vodka and kahlua and you can be in charge of the white russians.

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(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Nov-21-08 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #14

22. Woo-hoo--white russians..one of my favorites..

I have it on good authority thats a good drink for making one more interested in jello wrestling...:rofl:

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siligut

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:35 AM
Response to Original message

12. Love the look on the white cat's face, says it all right there.

Is this one of those cults where if you don’t belong your friends and family who do won’t talk to you anymore?

Damn it all. It is against my religion (a fuckin’ dogma hating, disobedient, rebellious, free thinking religion) to join a cult! It is not as if I want to tutch the but either, cuz I don’t!

May I please be in a constant state of recruitment? I make for a very good possible recruit. Please.

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:47 AM
Response to Reply #12

16. Let's see what the holy scripture says...

Yea, man cannot serve two masters. He must love the one and diss the other. So poopest thou or get off thine pot.

My interpretation: you'll have to choose.

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siligut

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:54 AM
Response to Reply #16

18. If you have to go to war with Aristus, you’ll need me!

I am all about war with cults. I know all the ins and outs. I could be very valuable, my friend, you may just want to keep me on the hook. Think about it.

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #18

19. You make a compelling case.

I shall invent purgatory just for you. You shall be in cultic limbo.

So it is written, so it shall be done.

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siligut

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Fri Nov-21-08 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #19

21. Woo Hoo

Since you just invented it, could you include a beach with a boardwalk and maybe a roller coaster and a vegetarian hotdog stand? I have always thought purgatory sounded like the most enjoyable place to go and with your help, now it will be!

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graywarrior

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:46 AM
Response to Original message

15. I'm in...

up to my knuckles.

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 11:53 AM
Response to Reply #15

17. graywarrior the knuckler we'll call you.

After you've passed on, you'll be one of our greatest saints.

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graywarrior

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Fri Nov-21-08 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #17

24. It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

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Parche

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Fri Nov-21-08 12:03 PM
Response to Original message

20. I want to be

In charge of tutching the nuts

:woohoo: :hi:

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #20

23. You may have to do double-duty then.

The cult needs a pilot. Can you make the Kessel Run?

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kentauros

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Fri Nov-21-08 03:06 PM
Response to Original message

25. Love the Space: 1999 theme anyway

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #25

27. I loved that song when I was a kid.

Little-known fact: it was co-written by Mike Oldfield.

By little-known, I mean "totally made up."

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kentauros

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Fri Nov-21-08 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #27

28. That's a cool factoid

(that is, "like a fact") :P
(proper term would be "factlet")

The second season music was, as I recall, forgettable...

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AlCzervik

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Fri Nov-21-08 03:07 PM
Response to Original message

26. here's my picture for the id.

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Dr. Strange

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Fri Nov-21-08 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #26

29. I fear that you may be too normal looking for my cult.

Nonetheless, you may join. Grab a robe.

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kentauros

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Fri Nov-21-08 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #29

31. You need more "monsters from the id"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVC8kCo8zSU

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Locrian

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Fri Nov-21-08 08:50 PM
Response to Original message

30. nahh...

Edited on Fri Nov-21-08 08:51 PM by Locrian

I'm already a dyslexic satanist. I worship the drivel. :)

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peruban

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Sat Nov-22-08 08:09 AM
Response to Original message

32. I already belong to a cult.

I call it Catholicism.

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