Post an embarrassing but low-priority confession. Here's mine:

I do the absolute worst brogue in the history of faked accents, laddie.

I confirmed this after watching Trainspotting again last night and finding myself unable to keep from talking to myself in that voice. Even though I was the only one awake in the house, it was embarrassing.


What's your confession?

about cars, even just typing posts here on DU, I do it in Jeremy Clarkson's voice in my head.

I hate myself.

:D

Channeling Jezza is a form of high respect. He told me so.

He is so rude about Americans!

Jeremy really thinks we're all ignorant cowboys who shoot each other at the slightest provocation. I say harumph! ....Oh...wait... :evilgrin:

Gotta get the Jezza commentary content correct as well, after all.

that sometimes I have to pull out the calculator to remember how old I really am.

I'm 24 for the 5th straight year. Today, in fact. It's my birthday. :party:

Happy birthday, by the by.

I think you're 28, by the way. If you lie, you should at least up it to 32. Of all the ages, 32 is the bestest.

because I can still pass for 24, and being 24 means people don't look at you funny for hitting on the 21 year olds. Plus, when I'm 40, I'll be able to hoodwink people into thinking I'm 32. Because 32 is the best age...or so somebody told me once on the internet.

Why would you want to date a 21 year old?

Feh... youngsters annoy even after they've gotten off my lawn. If you're 28, it's high time, m'lad, you discovered the joy of cougars.

not only do I like variety, I like a wide variety. I've dated older than me, I've dated younger than me, I've dated my own age.

I just want to keep the variety pool as wide as possible. Also, I'm immature.

If we weren't immature, what the hell would women talk about? Their careers? Then they'd be just as boring as us.

There's a basket of unfolded clothes that's been sitting on my sofa for a week, and I really need to vacuum.

Whether "nauseous" means "nauseated" or "nauseating". I have to look it up every single time.

I don't have the "Radio Voice" all the time

see which one makes the L with the thumb and pointer.

I taught that to someone else and they're an idiot and keep holding their hands up palms-facing-them and thinking their right is their left and vice-versa.

:rofl:

this is true, I have seen her do this in person. in fact, she learned this trick from me.

What's going on here?!?

Welcome to DU, by the way!
:hi:

was on my heart, but actually on mcctatas boob.

Sorry. This is a format I'm not used to...

Hide the virgins people! ;)

like you have any left for me to tell...

where are the dang smilies on this board? Do I have to insert them by hand?

subject line that says Smilies lookup table, click it...

Just sayin.

I felt like such a Patty Prude typing that out O8)

:evilgrin:

yet.

promises, promises! bring on teh freak!

:rofl:

Welcome to DU!

Have fun in our crazy, very addictive little village!

:hi:

We'll be in the car and she'll shout 'left, left!'

I'll go left, and she'll ask me why I'm going this way, she said the other way!!

Arg!

got new phone service in the house a month ago and I still can't remember our number, I wrote it down and carry it in my wallet.

cell phone number and Mr 'pede's cell phone number in my wallet. We seldom call either one.
When we got the second one, he took it away from me after a couple of months because it takes pictures and I wasn't taking any pictures.
Seems like he hasn't either.

If I'm out somewhere and I need to take a deuce I will drive home.

and it often scares me, hehe.

It also affects my performance :P

:hi:

Just got over Cold Bella about a week ago.

Haven't seen a flu since Flu Bertha in 2005, and she passed pretty quickly.

:P

I could get lost in a phone booth in broad daylight, even with a map, a compass and 3 kind strangers pointing the way.

I get turned around inside of buildings, and parking lots get very confusing as well! I have gotten slightly better with age, but I'm still highly directionally-challenged...

Deeply, deeply closeted.

The chicken has gone beyond being arthritic and is now suffering from epileptic seizures.

I always have to mutter "Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey" so I don't turn the thing in the wrong direction.

nt

If so, no harm no foul.

to figure out my direction. Same thing on roads upon which I know what direction I'm traveling.

I don't have a webcam.

I'm too afraid to try ice skating, since I fell so much roller skating!

As an example, here's a recent post: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=4639808&mesg_id=4639808

I've never worked in a union and therefore have had little reason to learn, and now that the UAW thing is heating up I'm as ignorant as a McCain staffer.

I voted for Reagan in 1984. Pretty much all though HS I was an Alex Keaton wannabe-- heck, I didn't even know the difference between the two parties at that time...

I never learned those keys when I learned to type. Usually, I just use the calculator keypad on the right side of the keyboard when I need to do numbers, because I used to do a lot of spreadsheets and I'm good with that keypad.

and I seem to be constitutionally unable to keep a room tidy after it reaches a certain level of complexity.

And for years, said "specific" instead of "Pacific" until a kind teacher very patiently asked me which ocean I was talking about and we had a "Who's on first" moment for about five minutes (which one? the specific one. yes, dear, but which? the specific!) before she realized what was going on and corrected me. The class thought it was great comedy.

I don't give it out and no one can really reach me on my cell when I'm at work anyway. And *I* never call me. So I don't "text" either!

I'll drink chocolate Hershey's syrup straight out of the bottle.

And drink up!

Tried from about age 8 up to about 8 years ago. Mr 'pede was my last teacher. He was on the swim team in college and IIRC set a conference freestyle record that lasted awhile. Just can't do it, when the water comes up around my neck I start choking.

"Flick your Bic?" Hah! My thumbs are opposable, but they just never really got the hang of it. It looks stupid to see a grown woman wincing as she tries to push one simple button in a way that actually makes fire happen on a simple device designed for that very purpose. This is why I'm glad my husband smokes cigars so I have lighters around that I can actually use.

I also have a bad time with certain locks. I've been known to hand keys to a "grown-up" to get myself into some rooms, and am terribly fond of my garage-door remote. My volley-ball serve when I was in gym class in high school was a phenomenon of such astonishingly unpredictable trajectory that gym teachers were called in from other classes just to analyze the thing and figure out how I should stand. I hate watches with a setting for the date, because I'm never going to be able to pull the stem out half-way to set it. I like daylight-savings time so the clock in my car is correct for a while.

I've been told my awkwardness might have something to do with being left-handed, but the funny thing is, I'm kind of ambidextrous in some ways. I always use right-handed scissors, can write passably well right-handed if I have to, as well as bat and throw right-handed (or at least, I do them no worse than I do when left-handed). I even do a trick where my left-to-right handwriting with my right hand improves when I simultaneously write backwards with my left hand (how my brain is wired, I can't figure. If I were a car, I think my headlights would go on if someone fiddled with the radio!)

I was also in my 20's before I was comfortable taking an elevator alone. And I've been told I tie my shoes "wrong."

(Edit--I also can't proofread all that well--LOL!)

might make sense. I recall some stories of lighters malfunctioning and emulating their users.
Serving was the only thing I could do in volleyball. Balled up my fist and hit the thing with the first finger/thumb side. The rest of the game was duck and cover.
I went through an elevator phobia about age 10. I think it was after seeing a tv show about a kid locked in a bank vault.

elevators.

I can't do the one and had never actually done the other by myself. I mean *can't*. As in, thumb goes flick, lighter goes *fzzzz*. "Flick, flick". "Fttt. Fzzz." I give myself a friction burn before I get that little blue jet of flame, and then I feel totally proud of myself if I get it. As for elevators, whenever I had been on them before, for most of my life--other people pressed the buttons, and I was not entirely convinced, due to my experiences with keys, lighters, and other "apparently" simple mechanism, that when I pressed for a floor, that the elevator would *understand my meaning*.

In other words, I was relatively certain I could screw up an elevator!

I could serve like a sumbitch, but I couldn't do ANYthing else. If the ball came at me I'd just cringe. I was useless when I wasn't in the outside corner!

just so I'll have an excuse to leave the house. I adore my husband, but he's very dependent, and I need SPACE every once in a while.

I accidently on purpose forget stuff all the time.

I call it poshive agroshive

I was just a kid then and now I kinda wish I hadn't helped them with what turned out to be some pretty unpleasant business.

Also, I've "re-gifted" a couple of Christmas ties. That's pretty tacky, too, I guess.

They were notoriously rough on the pre-teen crowd.

I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was....22.
Taught myself on my roomie's old one
My dad had given me a nice Columbia in 1957
It was a little too big for me but he was future thinking
Unfortunatly, it was not long after that we moved from our teeny tiny town to the 'big city' and the MD wouldn't let me learn to ride it
We kept the bike in the garage from 1958 to 1966 when, after I left for for college, MD sold the pristine bike to the folks next door to give to their 10 year old daughter

Expect a Darkness thread in the future.

Not only should you not wash afterwards, you really need to start aiming for your palms. A good soaking will takes years off your skin.

I mean, it's not like we piss on our hands, right? So if you don't piss on your hands, then why do you need to wash your hands when you're done?

the month before my 20th birthday because I was afraid to drive after watching a Driver's Ed film where two guys get decapitated in an accident.

Good thing I got it when I did because not long after I got busted with half an ounce of pot, which was a misdemeanor back then, but it would have meant calling my parents if I didn't have the ID. It would not have been a misdemeanor to them.

How's that?

Oh wait another, and I think this one is MORE embarrassing: I'm not even much of a TV watcher, but I love The Office so much that sometimes I think the characters are real. Seriously. I think of them in my head a lot. LIKE THEY'RE REAL PEOPLE. I'm sick.

:evilgrin:

And my sister is kind of like that about The Office. I think that it means you're both kooky.

Near-daily. But just for a few minutes, maybe several minutes at the most. So let's say 30 minutes a week. Hmm, that doesn't sound like a lot now that I put it that way. Just seems rather sordid.