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My grandfather passed away and I just heard about it tonight....

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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:41 AM
Original message
My grandfather passed away and I just heard about it tonight....
I'm so upset right now. I didn't want him to die----I wanted him to hold on so I could go and see him for spring break. I wanted to hear more stories about Turkey, and get to know him better. I was afraid of him as a small child because he seemed so gruff and he had on those old 70s tinted glasses. He'd laugh hard and for a long time though. I wasn't so afraid of him anymore when he taught me how to play ping-pong.

Grandpa was a ping-pong champion back in the 1950s. He stood me at the green ping-pong table, taught me how to hold the paddle correctly, and fielded the ball back and forth to me across the table. He smiled because I was fielding the ball correctly. I remember the summers where Grandpa would stand outside and grill hamburgers, and watch my brothers and I play with Karen, the golden retriever.

I was deaf, so I really couldn't communicate with Grandpa because he spoke gruffly. However, my speech comprehension got better with the years, and I could understand Grandpa. Last spring, I went to visit him and Nana to see what their new house was like. The Grandpa I got to know there was funny and we had great debate about politics. He was a conservative Republican and I was a leftist Democrat. We'd get involved in political debates, then Grandpa would get this twinkle in his eye and laugh. Grandpa was still particular about his TV remote so I couldn't watch any of my favorite programs. I spent a lot of time on the computer instead. I wish I had spent more time with him instead of on that computer.

Grandpa would serve me breakfast every morning which was a bowl of raspberries with cream. He said that the raspberries in America were so much bigger than the black raspberries he'd picked in Turkey as a child. He also made me turkish coffee which was really yummy. I had never tasted turkish coffee before. I had it for the second time here at college at this small Moroccan cafe. One evening, I was lying down on the couch with this scottish angora wool blanket over me. I'd looked at the tag earlier and it had said "Made in Scotland." Grandpa stopped by, looked down at me, and boomed, "Do you know where that blanket came from?"

I looked up at him, curious what he was going to say, and said, "No, where did it come from?"

A smile came over Grandpa's face, and he said, "It came from Turkey! The best angora blankets come from there! You are wearing one of the finest blankets there is."

I smiled and thanked him for telling me. He loved his country, and told me stories about his family there. His mother had died of a brain aneurysm in the kitchen when he was thirteen, and he and his brother had come home that day to find their mother lying in the kitchen. I felt sad about that. I promised Grandpa that I would name one of my daughters after his mother. It's a promise I intend to keep. Grandpa was a neurosurgeon here in the United States, and he had come to America from Vienna where he had studied at the University of Vienna.

He had escaped Vienna because he'd been interrogated by the Nazis for revealing to his father in a letter that the American planes were flying over Vienna. I think about him in that SS headquarters, being beaten across the face before being released. He had loved a woman in Vienna who had died when a bomb had landed on her apartment building. He had seen war. When he came to America, he fell in love with my grandmother, Nana, who was a nurse.

They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary four years ago. I remember that party. We were seated around a square table and we felt awkward because the family hadn't been together in so long. There were my aunts who I really hadn't heard from, and my uncle who had rarely gotten in touch with my father. There we were, the children of my father's first marriage, and my half-siblings, the result of my father's second marriage. Grandpa looked around the room, heard a bzz in the room, and looked down at the table. He smashed down a rolled-up newspaper against a fly that had annoyed him. The reaction stunned us into laughter. The ice was broken, and we relaxed, enjoying the party.

Grandpa....I'm going to miss you so much. I will always hold last year's spring break in my memory forever because I really got to know you, Grandpa. I'm glad I did but I wish there had been more time.

I love you, Grandpa.

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Syrinx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:44 AM
Response to Original message
1. my, alot of death here tonight
I'm sorry Slinkerwink. My condolences. I remember when my grandpa died. It's tough.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:45 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. I still can't believe it-----I expect my dad to email me back and tell me
Edited on Tue Mar-02-04 02:46 AM by slinkerwink
it was just a joke, but it's not. He really did pass away. I should've gone to see him sooner for Christmas. :-(
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Syrinx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:51 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. I'm sorry. I really don't know what to say.
I know we don't really "know" each other. But you truly have my sympathies and, as far as a stranger can, I want you to know that I love you. And I wish you the best.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:52 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. I know.....it's just that I feel alone tonight. There isn't anyone that
I can call now. I can't sleep and I miss my grandpa.
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Syrinx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:02 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. you can call me if you want
I know that's probably not what you're looking for. But if you want, I'll pm my phone number.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:04 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. I can't hear on the phone, I'm deaf.
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Syrinx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:08 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. damn, major faux paus (however you spell it)
I had just read that, then....

Sorry.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:10 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. it's okay----the offer is still appreciated though.
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Syrinx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:33 AM
Response to Reply #13
18. thank you
Please sleep peacefully tonight.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:46 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. Sorry. Goodbyes are sad.
.
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Dookus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:45 AM
Response to Original message
2. I'm very sorry n/t
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Old and In the Way Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 02:54 AM
Response to Original message
7. Nice rememberance, thanks for sharing....sorry for your loss
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foreigncorrespondent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:04 AM
Response to Original message
9. Awwwww...
...(((((((((((((Slink)))))))))))))) I am so sorry, hon. If there is anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask.

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Shanty Oilish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:04 AM
Response to Original message
11. Sorry to hear that, slinkerwink
It's terrible to realize that we never do know our kin as well as we would have, given more time. But you know what? You will know him better one day. Good parents and grandparents are inside us, unfolding as we grow.
You have wonderful memories to cherish, and they won't go away. They'll blossom in time.
((((((slinkerwink)))))))
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jus_the_facts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:15 AM
Response to Original message
14. My sympathies to you....
...I lost my Papaw in December...my SO lost his in January...so I can relate all too well...may he live forever in your memories of him and rest in peace as well. :cry: :pals:
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:27 AM
Response to Reply #14
16. I'm sorry to hear that about your father and your SO's father.....
my grandfather passed away in the arms of my father and his sisters. I'm glad that he went that way, surrounded by his children. I loved Grandpa very much as a small child even though I was afraid of him at first.
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jus_the_facts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:36 AM
Response to Reply #16
19. Thank you...I wish you could have been there with him also.....
....it's gotta be really tough to be away from your family at this time...my heart goes out to you. :hug: :loveya:
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 04:15 AM
Response to Reply #19
20. .....I still regret that, and even more now.
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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:16 AM
Response to Original message
15. Sounds like he'll always be with you Love like that endures.

Sorry for your loss slinkerwink.
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RFKHumphreyObama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:31 AM
Response to Original message
17. I'm so sorry to hear this Slinkerwink
And your very poignant and loving tribute to him profoundly moved me and touched me. My advice to you would be to try not to dwell on the time you didn’t spend with him –it only creates unnecessary pain and hurt (believe me, I have experienced this too many times)-and cherish and value the time that you did get to spend with him. I’m sure your grandfather would not want you to feel bad about it and that he understood the circumstances involved in your life that meant that you couldn’t see each other as much you would have liked. Remember the good and happy times that you spent together and how much you loved each other.

Once again my sincere and heartfelt thoughts, prayers and condolences are extended to you and your family on the loss of such a wonderful man
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 04:31 AM
Response to Original message
21. Dear slink, I'm so very sorry to learn of your loss...
I'm so sorry that you didn't get to spend spring break with your Grandpa. You write about him beautifully -- his character really emerges from your words, and it's easy to see that charm and influence you shared with this wise gentleman.

Although your experiencing such a profound loss right now, please take some comfort in knowing that he led a very long and rich life. Remember the good times with him, and hold them close to your heart.

Am sending all good thoughts to you and your family --
:hug: :hug: :hug:
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ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 04:37 AM
Response to Original message
22. If you are still up
Feel free to IM

You can either click the little icon, or just send an AIM to this name (ComerPerro, its always the same).

I would be glad to help
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Whitacre D_WI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 06:09 AM
Response to Original message
23. I'm so sorry, Slink.
Raise a little cup of Turkish coffee in his honor -- he sounds like quite a man.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 06:17 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. I'm planning to go to the Moroccan cafe this week and have a turkish
cup of coffee to remember my grandpa by.
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ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 07:55 AM
Response to Original message
25. Wow slink . . . so sorry to hear that :(
My condolences to you and your family :hug: :hug:

You've paid him a wonderful tribute here, and he sounds like a great man.

Keep those memories.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 08:35 AM
Response to Reply #25
26. I will.
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Pale Blue Dot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
27. My grandparents died about a year ago.
I know exactly what you mean. There were so many things I never asked them about. They will still just pop into my head for no apparent reason.

He knows you loved him, slinkerwink. That is the really important thing.

You have your memories and your promise, and hopefully you will find that that is enough. :hug:
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 08:52 AM
Response to Original message
28. So sorry for your loss Noelle
From your wonderful stories, it's evident that you love your grandpa very much and that he was a great man. Stay strong my friend :hug:
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 08:56 AM
Response to Original message
29. Beautiful tribute, slinkerwink
You will alwys carry him in your heart.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 09:09 AM
Response to Original message
30. That was a great tribute to him.
I'm sorry for your loss. :-(
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 10:38 AM
Response to Reply #30
36. I only wish I could've said the tribute to him myself
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jus_the_facts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 01:31 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. Are you going to be able to go to his funeral....
....if not you could give this to someone to read to everyone on your belhalf in your absence....just thinking about my Papaw's funeral where my sister got up and gave a tribute to him that moved everyone more than I'd ever seen before at a funeral...peace to you again Noelle. :hug:
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #38
39. not to his memorial next monday, but to the summer memorial
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THUNDER HANDS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
31. very nice tribute Slink
I'm sure your grandpa was very proud of you.
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KeepHopeAlive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
32. So sorry, Slinkerwink
What a beautiful tribute. It's wonderful you got to know him; you'll treasure those memories for life. :hug:

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snobird Donating Member (59 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 09:36 AM
Response to Original message
33. My Grandparents..
were Polish & Ukrainian, & I remember the stories.. I loved them & miss them sooooooooooo.. God Bless!
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 10:05 AM
Response to Original message
34. Your grandpa sounds like a very interesting guy.
I'm sorry you didn't get to see him one last time. Sounds like you'll have wonderful memories of him.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 12:45 PM
Response to Reply #34
37. he was the last of those guys who thought that machismo was everything
and it was really last year, that I got to see the soft side of Grandpa.
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NoPasaran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-02-04 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
35. So sad for you, slinkerwink
Thanks for sharing your memories
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