DS1 Thread: DS1 Reviews PC Game: Far Cry 2

There used to be a time when buying a game was as simple as riding your BMX bike with matching handle bar pads down to the Toys R Us, and picking the game you wanted and buying it, and putting the cartridge into your console. Whether it was an Atari 2600, or a Colecovision, or any other system at that time, if you owned the game you could play it. Right then.

Far Cry 2, on the other hand is a Far Cry from those old days. Upon installing the game (which came with my uber-awesome graphics card) and setting the visuals to Ultra across the board, I was immersed in the game. It's set in Africa, and the story is that your initial mission is to take out a gun runner. On the way to your encampment, you pick up a case of malaria, and pass out. You awaken to see him flipping through your documents, and because he's still alive, he spares you your life. This is not of course the first time I've passed out in the back of a Jeep only to be woken up feeling violated, but while this game left me feeling raw around the edges, the level of violation was a refreshingly null because it was free.

I would have rather been shot in real life up my ass with a .45 instead of playing this game*. As soon as the controls were handed to the player, I was stuck. I could look around, shoot, reload, jump, and that's it. Fine, I thought, I'll restart and try again. I did, and had to go through all the cinematics all over again. Eh, I've dealt with that before, but once again I was stuck.

So I signed up with the Ubisoft forums, and downloaded the 180 Meg patch. It didn't work. It didn't even try patching anything. So I went to their forums. Signed up, got the Activation email, activated myself, tried to log in and it said I wasn't activated.

Fuck it. Google to the rescue, right? No. Google sent me to patch 1.4, with wouldn't work without patch 1.3, which wouldn't work.. you get the picture. The lowest of the low patch wouldn't work with my installation, meanwhile a non-helpful soul on the Far Cry forums I did manage to log in to was telling me that I was trying to install the Far Cry 1 patch for Far Cry 2. No, ass, I'm not trying to do that.

This game came bundled with my graphics card, but please do not spend a single cent on it.

Not since I gave Walter Cronkite a handjob while watching a popcornless (I'm still pissed about that) Jaws3 in 3D in my later years have I felt so unfulfilled. I'm angry. Ubisoft can suck it!

*I'd rather perform fellatio on Larry King

:rofl:

That sucks. I loved Far Cry (the first one), and I thought Ubisoft was one of the better gaming cos.

Fellatio on Larry King? Well, at least you two would have something in common. :o

that have absolutely zero capability to read, comprehend, and form a coherent response that has anything to do with what you posted.

and Ubisoft pretty much sucks when it comes to any support.

we'll have to work the .45 into the story somehow

much more gratifying.

Check out Bioshock if you want a really good first person shooter.