Oh man I'm a fat wad - Democratic Underground

Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:42 PM
Original message

Oh man I'm a fat wad

My wife is out of town for the weekend, and when the cats away, the mice will play I guess. I went shopping at McDonalds on Friday. Bought 12 big macs that evening, and this morning they are all gone.

I'm going to die.

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Writer

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:49 PM
Response to Original message

1. Wait - what? Whoa...

You ate 12 Big Macs in 24 hours?

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #1

4. well...more like 40

is that better?

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Writer

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:54 PM
Response to Reply #4

6. You know that each Big Mac has 540 calories, right?

540 x 12 = 6480 calories. Divided by 40 hours, that's 162 calories an hour.

Dude... I hope you're walking around a little...

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:55 PM
Response to Reply #6

7. ha, nope I've been sitting around watching football all weekend

I just threw 2 months of healthy eating out the window.

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Writer

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #7

8. Ha! Sounds like your brain said 'no more twigs!'

I kid, of course. Well, I hope you enjoyed it at least... and that this doesn't become a ritual when the wife's away. :P

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Fire Walk With Me

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:49 PM
Response to Original message

2. You could film a documentary.

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Critters2

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Sun Jan-04-09 06:02 PM
Response to Reply #2

41. It's been done. nt

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Whoa_Nelly

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:50 PM
Original message

It's what comes after a MickeyD fat fest

You won't die, but you'll need to head back out and stock up, or else...

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:51 PM
Response to Original message

5. yeah thats why i think i'm dying

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Chan790

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Sun Jan-04-09 01:50 PM
Response to Original message

3. Well, one thing is for certain...

you're not going to be hungry for a while.

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quakerboy

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:20 PM
Response to Original message

9. you call it shopping?

thats a new one.

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #9

10. that was the joke

maybe I should have use quotations.

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quakerboy

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:16 PM
Response to Reply #10

30. No no, its all good

now I have doccumented cover the next time I feel a need to stock up on Chicken McNuggets.

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Haole Girl

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:30 PM
Response to Original message

11. hahahahahaha!!

Edited on Sun Jan-04-09 02:30 PM by KC2

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I'm sorry, but that is just like something I'd do... that's why I'm laughing so hard I can barely type right now! ROFL

I once ate 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts all by myself when my husband was gone for a trip. I gained 11 lbs. too (the not so funny part).

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:47 PM
Response to Reply #11

17. I didn't even think about donuts...that may have been a more enjoyable binge.

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applegrove

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:30 PM
Response to Original message

12. That's not possible. You'd be tossing your cookies after about 5.

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #12

15. I didn't eat them all in one sitting

2 for dinner on friday, 2 for breakfast saturday, 2 more for lunch, 3 for dinner that night (what, i was hungry), one for breakfast this morning, and 2 for lunch.

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applegrove

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #15

28. You must be an alien. Any normal human's body would have started to reject all

Edited on Sun Jan-04-09 03:08 PM by applegrove

that fat after a few meals. I really hope there are no heart attacks in your family tree. You are very much playing with your health.

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:24 PM
Response to Reply #28

32. Eh, its one bad weekend

Starting tomorrow its back to salads and chicken breasts.

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applegrove

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:42 PM
Response to Reply #32

35. That is the spirit. Take care of you.

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DS1

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #12

27. Morgan Spurlock was a weakling

waahh, I ate too many fries and now I'm going to puke. What a fucking wuss

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undeterred

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:33 PM
Response to Original message

13. Don't let the cat out.

Then you'll be in even more trouble. :hi:

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:48 PM
Response to Reply #13

19. Thats the sad part...

I feel so guilty I'm trying to find places to hide the boxes. Its like i had a whore in the house all weekend. I'm airing the house out, hiding evidence, crying in the shower....

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Critters2

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Sun Jan-04-09 06:04 PM
Response to Reply #19

42. Crying in the shower!

:rofl:

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SOteric

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:37 PM
Response to Original message

14. OOoof!

I think I just heard your arteries slam shut from here.

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:47 PM
Response to Original message

16. To make matters worse (better?)...

I just took my first shower since Friday morning.

She flies back this evening.

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SOteric

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #16

23. I think you've given us something to ponder

with regard to the statistics that show married men live longer.

Clearly your wife is a woman of extraordinary virtue who keeps you on the path to a long and happy life.

I hope you're doing something thoughtful for her on the occassion of her return.

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #23

24. I saved her a big mac

:think:

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SOteric

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:03 PM
Response to Reply #24

25. !

:rofl:

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Jamastiene

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:47 PM
Response to Original message

18. Sounds more like you are a lucky bastard.

I wish I could eat 12 Big Macs. Sure, my family would despise me for being a hog, but I wouldn't care. I'd be full for once. Lately, my appetite is absolutely ravenous.

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #18

20. Its how I roll on six dollars a day

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Runcible Spoon

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:51 PM
Response to Original message

21. that's disgusting

Big Macs are disgusting, leftover Big Macs are even MORE disgusting, and the most disgusting of all is a leftover Big Mac binge :puke:

Please keep that shit to yourself

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 02:52 PM
Response to Reply #21

22. You don't like it when they;ve been in the fridge and the grease congeals with the special sauce?

Edited on Sun Jan-04-09 02:58 PM by Wolsh

You're unamerican.

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Jamastiene

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #21

29. What the hell is wrong with you?

Big Macs are :patriot:

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NJmaverick

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:03 PM
Response to Original message

26. That's an impressive cosumption of burgers

still it can't be all that healhty.

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FloridaJudy

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:20 PM
Response to Original message

31. Dude: what's wrong with you?

12 Big Macs? Don't they have a Krystal or a Whataburger, or even a Wendy's within driving distance? That MacDonald's crap is designed for designed for kids with finicky taste buds: essence of bland. I know they're cheap, but so is Wendy's chili, and at least they give you those tiny salsa packs with it.

But let's not get into how many orders of take-out steamed dumplings I disappeared between Christmas and now...:yoiks:

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:25 PM
Response to Reply #31

33. Krystal is bad for you, I'm trying to watch my figure

Actually, the McDonalds was closer. Conservation of movement was the only real motivating factor.

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KitchenWitch

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #33

34. "Conservation of Movement"

I am so stealing that.

:rofl:

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azmouse

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Sun Jan-04-09 03:47 PM
Response to Original message

36. Wait... what's this about mice playing?

And why wasn't I invited? :popcorn:

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 04:26 PM
Response to Reply #36

37. You can come. Just its BYOBM

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busybl

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Sun Jan-04-09 05:28 PM
Response to Original message

38. umm, you wife doesn't read this, does she?

yikes

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 05:56 PM
Response to Original message

39. Alright, she's in flight right now, NYC-ATL

I think I have all the evidence vanished. I even scrubbed the fridge because it reeked of Big Mac grease. I told her we'd just pick up a salad when she landed.

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Haole Girl

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Sun Jan-04-09 06:01 PM
Response to Reply #39

40. You still have time for one warm Krispy Kreme...

if you hurry. :evilgrin:

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Joe the Revelator

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Sun Jan-04-09 06:08 PM
Response to Reply #40

43. You're bad...real bad......

giving ideas to an addict.

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Haole Girl

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Sun Jan-04-09 06:19 PM
Response to Reply #43

44. I'm going to hell...

aren't I? lol

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Arugula Latte

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Sun Jan-04-09 06:23 PM
Response to Original message

45. You are gonna 'splode!

OMG, seriously, step away from the Big Macs. WTF are you doing to your poor body? :wow:

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