One of my nephews has been diagnosed with acute schizophrenia.

It's a bit hard for me to relate on a personal level- I'm the family's uncle who moved away and never goes home for the holidays. Every family has one, and I'm it. So I can't say I know the family's next generation in a personal way, and it's hard for me to relate on the level called for here.

I know this is a bad thing to suffer with. Real bad. Sad to say (and harder to admit in public) there's a bit of a streak of mental instability in my family, but to my knowledge it hasn't approached this extreme in anyone until now. OTOH it's not exactly a surprising thing to find out.

Mental illness can be THE hardest illness of them all to struggle with- the pain is deep inside the mind itself, where it can't be easily reached or dealt with. And at the acute level it can be impossible to treat.

He's 20 years old with the mind of a 12 year old adolescent, and that's probably where his mind's going to be for the rest of his life. I know from personal experience (as do we all) how hard it is for a young teen mind to deal with mental rage, paranoia, and frustration. Imagine living out your entire life stuck there.

I hope they find a way to make it easier on him than it has been. I pray with all my heart they find a way.

The first psychotic break a schizophrenic has can be really horrible. I hope that he and the people around him stay safe.

Peaceful thoughts for your family's struggle. May you all come out stronger. :hug:

you're separated from your family, you admit you don't know the kids, yet you say a snarky thing about your family in relation to this poor kid's horrible diagnosis. As if acute schizophrenia were simply an extension of "a streak of mental instability."

Your post seems awfully vapid and self-serving, but perhaps I missed something. Was it meant to bring you some kind of consolation or comfort?

Why would you post anything about people you don't even know? I didn't read anything in your words that suggests you'll be having any kind of meaningful relationship with any of them in the future.

Strange. A very strange post. So why did you do it?

As I said, I'm curious.

:shrug: He's dealing with shocking news, and I didn't see anything snarky in the post at all. Not even sure what you could have misconstrued as snarky, to be honest. The OP seems to be trying to come to grips with a terrible blow to his family.

That was harsh coming from one who doesn't know the OP very well.

Someone who's not involved with his family writes a post about a tragedy that's befallen a member of that family, a generation he very plainly says he doesn't know. In that post, he extrapolates his family "streak of mental instability" with the young man - the unknown young man - who just got a terrible diagnosis of acute schizophrenia.

Dealing with shocking news?

He doesn't even know the young man. I fail to see any connection with his family, so I'm curious about his posting this here. He has no investment, no involvement. What was the point?

I would urge you to read the OP carefully. "...come to grips" with what, exactly? He has no connection with that family, as he explained.

Mental instability runs in my family, too. It has manifested as schizophrenia in quite a few of them, as alcoholism or other less-recognized forms of mental illness in others. In at least one, it was extreme sociopathy. So, no, his comments didn't seem snarky in the least to me, as I would, and probably have, describe my family in the same terms.

And he didn't say "no involvement." That's your phrase. He said he didn't know them well on a personal level. It's still his family, and he's still going to have a reaction to news about his sibling's children.

I could tell you stories that would make your wallpaper peel, but so can most people.

That's right, yes, my term was "no involvement." That's another way of saying that you don't know the people - for instance, the young man who was just diagnosed with acute schizophrenia. The OP says he has no relationship with that generation. I call that "no involvement."

When you don't know people well on a personal level, that's not really called "family."

Yeah, everyone has family problems. No, all those problems aren't equal. And mental instability can genetically run in families, and can manifest itself in varying forms of mental illness, so there's nothing snarky about the way the OP described his own family.

And family is family. They don't become strangers just because you no longer live next door. Even if he doesn't know his nephew well, he still knows his sibling.

Anyway, blast me, I won't respond again. I suspect you'll be embarrassed if you reread this tomorrow--I've seen other posts from you, and you don't seem like the jerk this series of posts makes you seem like. You seem decent, in fact--we are even agreeing on another thread. I just wanted the OP to know that others saw him differently. I won't add to the subthread, probably soon to be deleted anyway, by responding again.

Why? Because of an honest and dignified difference of opinion?

See, I don't hold with that old canard about "family is always family." No. When people depart from a group, they usually have their own, very valid reasons for doing so. And when they choose to have no interaction and choose not to know those people, that's not family. That was family, but then it isn't any more.

I just saw an attention-grabbing post, that's all I saw. Schizophrenia isn't something that comes about because a family is unstable or eccentric or nuts. It's a terrible thing, and the OP was nothing more than someone posting something to get attention. I suspect my response was not the sort of attention the OP wanted.

That's the beauty of DU. No need to get personal - and if you read this as a "blast," I'd be very surprised. You might interpret it as such, but that would be your choice. We disagree, that's all, and coming after me because I don't see it the same way you do is what you're doing. I wonder why. I'm comfortable in my opinion - I would wish the same for you.

Exploiting a kid's tragedy is distasteful to me. A post on a message board about a kid the poster doesn't even know - and, again, we run into that loose definition of family you have and the narrow one I have - strikes me as odd and with a hidden agenda. I divined from the quite angry responses I got from the OP that he's not very happy to have his motives questioned, no matter how politely.

I'm glad you perceive me as "decent." Nothing like damning with faint praise. I'm sure you meant that as some sort of compliment.

There's absolutely nothing in my post telling you that you're wrong, as you are trying to tell me in yours. We differ, and that's all.

and not caring about your family.

I would venture to say that this OP is part of the first group, and not part of the second. As someone who, like the OP, has mental illness running through my family, I can certainly understand why he would mention it.


Prisoner_Number_Six, may I just say that my heart goes out to your nephew, your family, and you. Any serious mental illness is very difficult to deal with and I hope you and your family can find a way to handle it as best a possible. If you don't mind a small suggestion, it might be time to reconnect with your nephew's family - if you feel up to it, of course - and offer whatever support you can, not only to him, but to his parents and siblings as well. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that his family will definitely need it. :hug:

Must be in the eye of the beholder.

:shrug:

Sometimes hearing this kind of shocking news brings you back, makes you re-evaluate your family and your position in it. That's what I got the from OP. It's not like every tie is cut off and you become dead inside where your family is concerned, which is what I hear you saying.

Completely bonkers, one and all of us.

It's been a while, but I do have 18 years experience dealing with the madness of a completely dysfunctional family. Why the hell d'ya think I moved half way across the country from 'em?

I don't exclude myself from the mental weirdness, btw. It (and they) helped turn me into a raging alcoholic, and I spent my 20s trying very hard to drink myself to death. The only reason I'm still here is because I finally found a path through my own madness and decided to give life a chance. 25 years after I crawled out of the bottle I believe I made the right choice. So I've earned the right to snark just a little bit at my own family. Trust me when I say I do it with love and respect- and many years of up close experience.

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In all my years here you're exactly the third person to go onto my ignore list.

'Bye, spud.

did this strike a nerve with you? or are you pui? or what?
your posts here are very harsh.

You win the prize for today, that's for sure. Perhaps for the whole month.

This has got to be tough...

I hope you find a way to deal with this, and I hope the young man and his family struggle successfully as well...

I'm so sorry, sweetie...

:hug:

With medications these days, they can control a lot of the worst swings of the illness. Success can range from barely functioning to being highly successful in some fields of life. Most of the truly successful people I've known with genuine schizophrenia have excelled in creative fields, especially academia, for some reason. I knew a professor at college who was schizophrenic, and who functioned completely except when his medications would fail on occassion. I've heard of others, as well. And of course everyone knows about John Forbes Nash.

There are different types of illnesses labeled "schizophrenia," and I've even read articles that the term should be dropped completely as being too general, so don't take any one example as something your nephew should strive for. There is no way my brother could have been John Forbes Nash. I don't know the distinctions, I just know that unrealistic expectations, or even any expectations, are dangerous, because they put pressures on the patient, and of course pressure is the hardest thing for them to handle.

Anyway, just saying good luck to you and your nephew and his family. It's tough, but there are things to hope for and strive for, for your nephew and your family. Sounds like you already know that, but having someone else reaffirm it can help. Been my experience, anyway.

jobycom.

I know there are a lot of good treatments today. I hope they find the right one for him.

If they find a good regimen of medications for your nephew, he may be able to lead a productive life. He will never be "normal" but who really is anyway?

Sometimes it takes a while to find what works best. I hope his family has the help and support they need.

One of my favorite cousins has schizophrenia. He now sometimes goes years between meltdowns. And we adore him.

:hug:

still a lot of old freudians around that want to pin the blame on families. it's a tightly wrapped pile of shit. no doubt they interact, but someone with neurochemistry that is off will take a lot of chaos with them wherever they go.
i hope that your nephew has good help, and finds his way.

and my condolences to you, also. i am also that one that never comes home for christmas. it is a sad thing to be.

We've all had good lives- simply not in the same places. Just a few regrets, but not many.

It's good that your insight allows you to be non-judgmental and to deal with the situation on a nuts-and-bolts level. Simply having that attitude will go a long way toward helping to others understand and respond in a more positive and constructive way.

Good luck.