My Psycho Roommate: The End Times Edition

(Back story Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V)

So my landlord was very nice to My Psycho Roommate (MPR) and gave her until noon today to move out, so she didn't have to move over a holiday. To be clear: landlord gave her 45 days notice that her lease would not be renewed. MPR moved all her furniture out on Saturday and it looked like I was getting my life back. Of course by 11pm last night I started wondering just when she was going to actually leave, since she still has boatloads of shit here. Clothes everywhere, papers everywhere, dirty dishes in the sink, rotting food in the fridge--you get the picture. I called the landlord last night (I assume MPR was at work) to double check that MPR knew today was her last day. Landlord confirmed MPR tried to tell her yesterday that she had until midnight to clear out but landlord reiterated that MPR signed an agreement that she would be out by noon or she'd be charged $50/day, retroactive to January 1 since her actual lease expired at midnight, December 31. MPR told landlord she didn't have a copy of that, but knowing my landlord, that's about impossible as she's very anal retentive about making sure all landlord-tenant agreements have the t's crossed and i's dotted and everyone has copies of everything.

So today I get up around 9:30, and MPR is gone. Of course her shit is still everywhere. I'm thinking maybe she's moving some stuff to her new place, since she has to be out by noon. I wait around until about 10:30 before I take her 47 bottles of personal care products out of the shower so I can wash it down and take my shower in a clean tub for the first time in months. (I had to start taking my shampoo and soap out of the shower every time I washed up because she was using my products and moving them around so they wouldn't be available when I needed them. But if I so much as touched her stuff, she absolutely lost it on me. Freak.) I packed her stuff into two boxes and left them outside the bathroom door. I finished cleaning the tub and got done with my shower about 11:15. Around 11:30, my landlord's father comes over to see how her move is going. He's a former cop and does not like MPR. He sees the boxes I've packed of her stuff, he sees her shit still lying all over the place, he sees she's MIA and only has a half hour to get out. He leaves to run an errand then return at 12:06. Still no sign of MPR.

Delighted that MPR will be shelling out $250 due to her own stupidity, I assume she's at work, that I'm safe until maybe 4pm when her shift would be over, and take my dog for a walk. While out on the walk, I get a phone call from MPR. "You can't move my stuff, I have until midnight to be out of here!" she screams at me. "No," I tell her, "you had until noon and just lost $250, Idiot." She starts screaming incoherently and I hang up on her. Call the landlord and give her a report. A few minutes later MPR texts me demanding to know what I did with her other bottle of conditioner. (That would be what bottle out of the 47 I packed?:eyes:) I text her back saying that everything that had been in the bathroom was in those boxes, unless it was empty, then it was in the recycle bin.

I come home from dog walking and find MPR is mia again. However, she's left me a snotty note that says, "You can't make this happen any sooner than it is. So take your pill and chill out. You can do whatever you want in the house tomorrow. Till {sic} then I will move my things. {her name}" Then I notice she's taken all her personal care products and placed them back in the bathroom, in the shower and the cupboards. Moreover, she's taken the boxes I put them in, ripped them and thrown them into my room. Then I notice a cabinet is open on my bureau. It's where I keep my clean linens, and since I haven't changed my sheets in over a week, I know damn well that cabinet was closed when I left my house today. And then I notice stuff on my bureau seems to be askew. Among those papers is a file folder that has my documentation about her behavior, including the original and a copy for my landlord of the paid invoice from having the artwork she damaged on her first rampage repaired (to the tune of $110). :grr:

So I call my landlord to report these new abuses. Landlord says after she talked with me she called MPR who was still livid I had the gall to touch her stuff. Landlord told MPR she had authorized my packing her stuff up because she was supposed to be out by noon, and reiterated to MPR that she now owed the landlord $250 in arrears. MPR starts crying, saying she doesn't have that money and doesn't even have a place to live yet!

:wtf: She had 45 days advance notice she had to be out of here and she hasn't found another apartment yet? Honestly, this woman is too stupid for words!

Landlord has little sympathy for MPR. So anyway, landlord will be over in about about a half hour with a locksmith to change all the locks and the garage code. MPR is home now and hurriedly shoving stuff into car. Landlord was not going to charge her for having the locks changed, but she will now, along with the $110 for my damage repair and the $60 MPR owes me for cable. I hope MPR wasn't planning on using her deposit from here as a down payment on another place, because I don't think she'll be seeing much of that $500 deposit returned.

Is it wrong for me to be happy about all this? :evilgrin:

Oh, yeah, my new roommate, a nice graduate student, is on his way in now from L.A. I expect him around 10pm tonight. Thankfully he got a late start, since he was originally scheduled to be here by 5pm (15 minutes from now). That would have been cutting it close! (Really already too close for my tastes. I was hoping to have most of today to clean the place, as well as perform an exorcism of her bedroom before new dude has to sleep with her lingering evil, rotten spirit over him.)

Hopefully this will be the last installment of MPR! Good exorcism vibes greatly appreciated from anyone who wants to send them my way to help expedite her ass out the door. :)

Having had my share of PRs myself....

Kudos to your landlord for being on the ball and changing the locks right away. If the ex-MPR tries to continue harassing you it might be worth it to get a new cell number.

Glad to hear the new roomie sounds like a peach! If he's a grad student you probably won't be seeing much of him either way.

He's looking for a part-time job (working with incarcerated gang members), a volunteer gig (teaching kids how to read and/or about ecology) and also plans on running for student government. How sane that sounds!! Over-achieving to be sure, but sane none-the-less. :)

a few months later her latest landlord came looking us up for information.

Seems she hadn't paid rent and when landlord went over to change locks crazy tenant called police on her landlord alleging rape.

We were happy to confirm that she was off the wall

As was her new landlord!

My landlord has already called the cops to give them a heads up that she has a former tenant who's in process of being evicted and has a history of violence. She also gave me a copy of the agreement MPR signed stating she's be out of here by noon today. So if it comes down to me having to call the cops, if MPR gets abusive or whatever after my landlord leaves, I have documentation that MPR really and truly is psycho.

I have not read all of the other posts, but have you filed a restraining order? Even if you have, you might want to kick it up a notch or two!

GET-OUT

Go get a sage bundle and wander around the house with it smoldering; making sure the smoke gets into every little crevice and nook.
Also, sprinkle sea salt at the doorframe and even windowsills if you feel like it.

I am so glad for you that this is over!!

And if your ex-roommate is "following" you in your thoughts, bake a little sugar cookie person. Decorate it using either frosting or food coloring to look like said ex-roommate. Leave it out on the counter for a few days. Laugh at how silly it looks.

Then after it's good and stale, find every cooking implement in your kitchen. Meat tenderizers, icepicks, wooden mallets, whatever. Take said instruments AND BASH THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF THE COOKIE UNTIL IT IS DEMOLISHED INTO CRUMBS.

Or you can take it out and feed it to the ducks. Either way, its a symbolic way to be permanently rid of YPR.

Catharsis is good. ;)

As it is, I have some protective oils left over from when Bush came to the hurricane recovery camp I lived at. My friend sent them to me, she was very into smudge and oils for purifying and protecting. She sent me one called Peace & Calming (tangerine, orange, ylang ylang, patchouly, blue tansy) and White Angelica (bergamot, geranium, myrrh, sandalwood, rosewood, ylang ylang, hyssop, spruce, melissa, rose, almond). I smeared oil on the door frames of the building, then used them to anoint people who were going to actually meet him to protect them from his evil. After wards I walked through the building, blowing the ill vibes out to the four directions. So I'm going to do something similar for his room. :-)

you should write a book about your experiences with your roommate.

Try finding your roommate lying on a plastic sheet with his wrists slashed because you didn't pay attention to him? Okay..guess it was just another day in the house for us....

;( You make me feel as though I had a walk in the park with MPR. Sorry you had to live through that scenario! :hug:

putting down a plastic sheet is very considerate. :P

I remember reading Part I of this story. I had no idea there was a Part II, let alone III, IV, and V.

Sorry you had to live it, but that was a goddam entertaining read. Would have been a bit more disturbing, I suppose, had I not read the final chapter before parts 2~5.

Good riddance to your psycho roomie. Even so, I hope she comes to her senses and gets her shit together. It sucks becoming homeless through one's own irresponsibility and outright laziness. I know. I've been there. I wasn't quite the asshole she is, but I've ignored deadlines to my detriment.

Anyway, congrats on your new and better situation! Yay!

:woohoo:

I never would have if she hadn't made me a prisoner in my own home for the last three months. I would be very happy to have her go on meds, get some counseling and get her act together. But in talking to my landlord after MPR left last night, I think I actually got off easy. I knew MPR had a police record due to an altercation with her ex, but what MPR did to get that record was to drive her ex's brand new, uninsured vehicle into the side of a supermarket and left it there when she came home and found him in bed with another woman. Yikes! I guess that explains why her license had been revoked, too.

I've been close to homeless myself, so I do have sympathy, but it was so good to be able to be in my entire house again without fear of being psychologically or physically terrorized! :D

:hug: Now, please stay extra safe the next few days...just in case she goes nuts.




I got the tickets last night, and and got the time off approved today! I can't wait to see you! :hi: :bounce:

:bounce: Can't wait to see you, either! :hi: :hug:

You missed so many excellent opportunities to make her life miserable.

A friend of mine said her dad used to put his sneakers in the dryer to drive his mom crazy right before their divorce. :evilgrin:

would have only compelled her to double or triple her efforts to make my life miserable. And since nothing gave her more joy in life than making my life miserable, a job she relished and was very good at, I don't think I could have taken the additional abuse.

I'd dump the rest her shit into the yard.

is psycho roomie now officially former roomie?

Good god, what a nut case - serious energies to rid the place of that rotten evil sent your way.

:hug:

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

She got her ass out the door around 7:30, right around the time the locksmith was finishing up installing the new locks. She was very humble as she packed up her shit. Ironically, she left her very expensive electric toothbrush in the bathroom--which she wouldn't have left if she hadn't unpacked the boxes I packed of her personal care things. :eyes:

Of course she also left the fridge jam-packed with rotting food. Lucky me, I got to clean it out. :mad: I was able to fill an entire garbage can-sized recycling bin with all the plastic & glass bottles and jars, tin foil, and general paper goods she left lying around. What a charmer she was!

New roomie got in at 1:30 a.m. We unpacked his truck, the dogs had a great time getting to know each other and running around the yard. New roomie seems sane, articulate, centered and laid back. How happy am I? That woudl be very happy!

Glad it's over for you though.

You know, I was actually afraid to read this after the other stories about her. :scared: Eeeek, what a psycho control freak!

On a side note, after living with a couple of very messy roommates in my early 20's, as I got older I decided I would only share a place with someone if it had two bathrooms!

Hope your new roommate is trouble-free & you never hear from MPR again. :hug:

How old was this woman, what a nut. :eyes:

She'll be 28 next month. Psychologically... well, in one of my initial posts on this I stated she was about 14 years old psychologically, but I think I'm going to revise that down to 12: old enough to actively and enthusiastically engage in this kind of abuse, but too young to understand the full consequenses of her actions.

Glad that she is out! :hug:

So MPR has been gone for two whole days!! :bounce:

Of course she also stole my $45 flexi dog leash, so tack that on to her bill. Talked with the landlord today who called her work to get her wages garnished for the money she owes. Employer told landlord my ex-psycho roommate had been fired on New Year's Day! While not saying why the Crazy Girl was fired, employer did say it didn't surprise them to hear Crazy Girl was crazy and skipped out owing money.

What Crazy Girl doesn't know is that I did a little research on her when she started getting crazy, and found her parents' phone number and address in a nearby town. So I gave that to the landlord. I and the landlord know Crazy Girl has a college fund that her parents won't let her touch because they say she's not mature enough for college (understatement of the decade), so perhaps they'd be wiling to tap into that account to pay their daughter's debts. Crazy Girl's father is an ex-cop, so I'm pretty sure he won't be too happy to hear that his daughter damaged property and blew off paying her landlord, which, last time I checked, was illegal.

New roommate arrived after midnight the day Crazy Girl was forcibly evicted. He's awesome! :bounce: And very handsome and smart--already hooked up with a girl from grad school, he's out on a date as I type! His dog is very sweet and well-behaved, but only knows behavior commands in Farsi (new roommate is first generation Iranian, Farsi is spoken in his home). But my new roommate seems really chill, is interesting to talk to, gives me my space and has clean kitchen and bathroom habits. I'm very happy with how 2009 is starting out! :)

Locks were changed as she was packing her stuff and blowing out the door! :bounce:

I usually room with friends and its always worked out great. If I were in your place I would be laughing in her face when she cries.

to get her to move out. One very expensive--financial and emotional--lesson to learn about
evaluating potential roommates.

I'm glad you're finally free of this one and hope your new roomie will be compatible.