I'm adding two movies to my personal "Worst List"...

Both are older titles, but I just got around to seeing them this week (thanks, cable!).

One is "Along Came a Spider", with Morgan Freeman. Convoluted double-double crosses you could see coming from the lobby.

The other is that "Phone Booth" movie with Colin Farell. Generally speaking, ANY movie with Kiefer Sutherland playing a homicidal maniac in glasses and a Sta-Prest jacket is going to stink, but this was, at best, a poor Twilight Zone story, stretched to a shamefully long feature-film timeframe. Oh, and can you say "stereotyping"?!

Ugh.

So, these two non-events join "The Doom Generation", "Saturn 3", "Burn Hollywood Burn", and "Gone in 60 Seconds" in my personal movie hell.

If you wanted an action movie, sure, it sucked, but it is bar far the best philosophy movie i've seen in mainstream theatres.

I wasn't looking for action. I was looking for a tense psychological thriller. I got neither.

What 'philosophy' are you talking about? I'm not attacking you; I'm genuinely curious about what possible philosophy could be taken from that trainwreck.

edit: typo (duh!)

We get a Korean store owner that keep talking after he is beheaded, another character who licks his own semen off of his hands, and another character who gets castrated by garden shears. And those are the funny parts!

Pretentious garbage disguised as art.

(BTW, my "best" friend got me "Burn Hollywood Burn" for Christmas, but I haven't watched it yet.)

"If Greg Araki announces his orientation one more time, I'm switching sides! Who needs that kind of company?!"

That's in there, too.

Truly offensive on every level I can imagine, and then Tom Arnold, to boot!

"True Lies" was the most misogynist excuse for a movie I have ever seen. Another huge hunk 'o crap.

They were the ones who were the real misogynists. Remember when that guy slapped Tia Carrere? Arnold and Tom aren't misogynists, they were just 'getting even' for Jamie Lee Curtis' promiscuity! Just good clean fun, is all.

LOL, remember when Arnold killed that car salesman for dating his wife, but then it turned out to be a fantasy sequence? Good times, good times...

Personally, I loved "The Doom Generation". It's been years since I saw it, so I can't really remember much more than the fact that I loved it.

... is a veritable cult classic for us Science Fiction people.

Sorry, no get out of jail card for Saturn 3, a.k.a "Frankenstein in Space with a conceptual non-ending and shitty effects"

nt

Welcome to DU, neverborn! :toast: :donut:

I was just in a big snipe-a-thon over LXG in another board I frequent. Seems I am in the minority with my hatred.

...but I kind of liked it. I was in the mood for mindless, senseless adventure, and that movie fit the bill perfectly and in spades. And the production design...(French chef-style kissing of my fingertips at this moment). I'm a sucker for gorgeous prod design/art direction.

But Mulholland Drive was the most horrible thing I've ever seen. It was worse than that ridiculous "Fast Runner" boring-ass bad-teeth movie.

The man who made Eraserhead can do no wrong.

I haven't liked Lynch since Eraserhead. Though I appreciate his ability to confuse people.

sure, misfires like "Wild at Heart" and "Dune" kinda make you feel embarassed for him... but then he pulls a "Twin Peaks" and makes it all better.

...I think it has some of the best dialogue he's ever written, and how can you not love Diane Ladd?!

And... Best. Crispin Glover. Scene. Ever.:

"I'm making MY LUNCH!"

and lots of fun oddities - but... I just can't take Cage. At all. Blegh.

But gawd, I love David Lynch. Even the halfassed stuff on his website, down to the handmade Flash animation.

these movies were HORRIBLE!

I mean, a guy fucking a pie? If I want to see that, I'll do it myself, rather than paying $12 to see someone else do it.

House of the Dead...hmmmm. That one slipped by under the radar. I'll look into it.

It actually had a heart up it's horny sleeve.

Really funny, the interchanges between Eugene Levy and the kid were priceless (he tries to explain sex for the first time...I was on the floor)

The sequel was ok. The third, a hot steaming pile of crap in a bundt cake.

Stifler's dance scene in the club made it all worth it. :)

True, it was the only funny scene in the movie, but definitely weak

Sooooo bad, and definitely not in a fun, campy kind of way. And I heard they might make a sequel??? Don't know what genius thought that might be a good idea!

Directed by the same asshole who made the first one. I'll agree. It is one of the worst (and not in a good way) films I've ever seen. I rented it knowing it would be bad, but I thought it would be funny bad not bad bad.

Some of the make-up was good, but that's the only nice thing I have to say about that movie.

I finally saw it this evening. One of the worst movies I have ever seen. Pretentious and exploitative. An After School Special directed by Calvin Klein.

has to be one of the worst movies ever made. I still can't believe Tom Hanks made this piece of garbage.:thumbsdown:

I have arguments about it all the time. Not a perfect movie, but I could see what John Patrick Shanley was trying to do. It had a great sense of visual style. I am still sorry that the reception to this film was so poor that he never got a chance to direct again.

That was a good movie. Good soundtrack for setting the tone, good dry humor..


I liked it.

I have walked out of two movies ever. The first was Candyman, a low budget horror movie I was taken to the first time I went to a movie and left my daughter (my firstborn) with my mom. There was a scene that alluded to a baby being murdered. Not for a new mommy with a 3 month old. We were gone. He never took me to another horror movie again (which was just dandy :) ).

Intersection though was just bad. It came out about 10 years ago and was a Sharon Stone movie- post Basic Instinct and pre-Casino stage, where most of hers were rather forgettable. The plot was hard to follow, not because it was complex, but because it made little sense. Just a really lousy movie, so we left.

Right up there with Dogma for worst. movie. ever.

Except it's so bad it's almost funny.

I saw the original ending in a test screening. They fly a helicopter into a volcano, thrillseeking. It was just bizarre.

...I swear, she's a female M. Emmet Walsh! How can one person get so much screen time?

Everyone kept putting her in their movies, hoping she'd do it again. I don't understand why anyone wants to see any genitalia that's not attached to one's own lover. :eyes:

should be retitled "Dogshit".

Worst movie I've ever actually sat through. I should have left when the urge first hit me. I just hated it more and more until by the end of it I hated all Kevin Smith movies, even the ones I'd liked previously.

WORST. MOVIE. EVER.

Worse than "Grease". Worse than "Caligula".

How about 'mechanical head removers'...did it have better mechanical head removers than Caligula? Which movie had more lard?

it would have improved it greatly.

is on my worst list. They are all so bad

I have to admit, I've only ever seen one Steven Segal movie, and I don't remember it at all, except it was set on an aircraft carrier, and there was a naked chick in it.

The other one you mention is Under Siege and weirdly enough it is passably entertaining:hi:

has to be the worst movie I have ever seen. I left the room and cried because of the awful explicit rape scenes. What a disgusting piece of misogynistic crap that is passed off as entertainment. Horrible, horrible movie. Don't see it...run the other way in fact! I wish I never had.

:grr:

...that the producers of that film successfully started a rumour that their own film was a snuff movie. That's the kind of audience they were hoping to attract.

As Lisa Simpson once remarked "You'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator".

Miles O'Keefe was Tarzan (beautiful man, but devoid of any kind of personality). Bo Derek was Jane, who gave her worst performance ever (which begs the question: which of Ms. Derek's "acting" performances could be considered the worst? I choose "Tarzan")

Horrible, horrible movie.

Terry

starring Shaquille O'Neal and directed by Paul Michael Glaser aka Starsky.

I heard it was horrible beyond belief.

:-)

Terry

even my 7 year old nephew hated it.

I just ran across that on cable and watched it because I had nothing better to do. I am seriously thinking of suing HBO and the filmmakers for those 80 minutes back. What crap.

Directed by Mr Tamborine Man Himself, Bill Shatner.

Truly the WORST movie EVER made