Good Kids Recipe... (Liberals Only)

Ingredients:

4-5 small to medium kids
25 lb. Onions
12 garlic bulbs
50 lbs. Red Potatoes
10 lbs. Mushrooms
110 Gals. Water
10 liters Burgundy
Salt and pepper to taste.

Get out your large cauldron (a #3 at least) and bring water and burgundy to a boil.

Add veggies.

Return to boil, add kids, boil for at least three hours and simmer on a low fire for another 4-6 hrs until meat falls off the bone with a fork.

Note: For best results, kids should be fattened on a diet of gingerbread and candy beforehand. But be careful not to get tricked by the old twig for a finger trick as the consequences can be dire.

(From the evil liberal baby eater's cookbook)

Now THAT'S something I can tell fellow mothers and they'll agree that there are times when they wish they could do just that!

Can't you just see the freeps totally missing the sarcasm and using this thread as "proof" of just how evil and morally degraded and dangerous we are and why we must be defeated, etc., etc.

next column. :toast:

Getting to the truth has never been her strong point, especially when it comes to us horrible "librools."

or how to tell which ones are for thin-mints and which ones are for somoas?

Use real vanilla beans for best results.

:evilgrin:

by Jonathon Swift:

>
”I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled ...”
>
http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

pnorman
STAND UP, KEEP FIGHTING http://shows.implex.tv/wellstone

A Modest Proposal
For Preventing The Children of Poor People in Ireland
From Being Aburden to Their Parents or Country, and
For Making Them Beneficial to The Public


By Jonathan Swift (1729)



It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children, all in rags and importuning every passenger for an alms. These mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg sustenance for their helpless infants: who as they grow up either turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear native country to fight for the Pretender in Spain, or sell themselves to the Barbadoes.

I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these children sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the children of professed beggars; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age who are born of parents in effect as little able to support them as those who demand our charity in the streets.

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled

as well as the endnote:

>
I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure to the rich. I have no children by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past child-bearing.

The End

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), author and satirist, famous for Gulliver's Travels (1726) and A Modest Proposal (1729). This proposal, where he suggests that the Irish eat their own children, is one of his most drastic pieces. He devoted much of his writing to the struggle for Ireland against the English hegemony.

pnorman
STAND UP, KEEP FIGHTING http://shows.implex.tv/wellstone

babycakes
by Neil Gaiman

A few years back all the animals went away.
We woke up one morning, and they just weren't there anymore.
They didn't leave us a note, or say good-bye.
We never figured out quite where they'd gone.
We missed them.

Some of us thought that the world had ended, but it hadn't.
There just weren't any more animals.
No cats or rabbits,
no dogs or whales,
no fish in the seas,
no birds in the skies.
We were all alone.

We didn't know what to do.
We wandered around lost, for a time,
and then someone pointed out
that just because we didn't have animals anymore,
that was no reason to change our lives.
No reason to change our diets
or to cease testing products that might cause us harm.
After all, there were still babies.

Babies can't talk.
They can hardly move.
A baby is not a rational, thinking creature.
We made babies.
And we used them.

Some of them we ate.
Baby flesh is tender and succulent.
We flayed their skin and decorated ourselves in it.
Baby leather is soft
and comfortable.

Some of them we tested.
We taped open their eyes,
dripped detergents and shampoos in,
a drop at a time.
We scarred them and scalded them.
We burnt them.

We clamped them and planted electrodes into their brains.
We grafted, and we froze, and we irradiated.
The babies breathed our smoke,
and the babies' veins flowed with our medicine and drugs,
until they stopped breathing or until their blood ceased to flow.

It was hard, of course, but it was necessary.
No one could deny that.
With all the animals gone, what else could we do?
Some people complained, of course.
But then, they always do.
And everything went back to normal.

Only......

Yesterday, all the babies were gone.
We don't know were they went.
We didn't even see them go.
We don't know what we are going to do without them.
But we'll think of something.
Humans are smart.
It's what makes us superior to the animals and the babies.

We'll figure something out.

I didn't think it was possible to out-creep that Modest Proposal essay!

pnorman
STAND UP, KEEP FIGHTING http://shows.implex.tv/wellstone

A modern-day Modest Proposal, I'm practically speechless!

that he loved children as long as they were properly cooked?