Tips For How To Survive In A Horror Movie

* When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

* Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

* As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

* If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery that was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move immediately.

* Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

* Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.

* If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably deserted for a reason. Take the hint and stay away!

* Never say that you'll "be right back" because you won't.

blonde hair, big . . . *chest*, are a minority, are particularly cocky, just had sex, wear a football jersey, . . .


RUN LIKE HELL!

NEVER go UP stairs!!! There's no fricking escape up there!!!! x(

* Don't be black

* Do NOT take a shower / have sex

:evilgrin:

Sure, you're going to be burned alive or drowned or impaled with a spike, but you know you'll be back in twelve sequels.

It's called job security. :)