Thanks for killing my confidence.

I posted about my date earlier tonight and when my date got the call about her friend in the accident while we were in separate cars on our way to the movie, she told me that her friend was in an accident. I suspected that she might have tried to get an out. I tried to brush it off. But with that possibility brought up, I now know that it is true. I am fucking through with women. This time I mean it.

and good luck

the more they want you

...in your dreams.

From your username, you're most likely in GMT-7. It's 2hrs later than that here, and it's pretty late here! You sound like you're one of these young, earnest types who takes everything personally. I've been brushed off before; it's not the end of the world. Relax, get a good night's sleep, and maybe (hint, hint) don't go out looking, exactly -- wait until whatever it is you're looking for comes to you or you fall into it, quite, apparently by accident. :)

Cheer up! :)

:)

because of what people HERE said? I caught the beginning of that thread (didn't see the "looking for an out" part). What do YOU think?

ah yes, the old "my friend just got in a car wreck!" story!

sure, sure ..........

Now with cell phones, girls who go on first dates always have a friend call them at a certain time, so they'll have an out.

Not to bum you out or anything ......


That's Why.

assume its nothing until you know otherwise, dont beat yourself up or let this ruin future opprotunities.

-LK

maybe that person never goes on dates and just wanted to bring you down?

Didn't you say she said she'd call you tomorrow?

How big a dick will you be if you cop an attitude and it turns out there WAS a crash?

Just wait until tomorrow...chances are it's legit.

Aren't you jumping the gun a little?

First of all, if she wanted an "out", she would have not spent hours talking to you to begin with.

Let's even say that the accident story was made up for an out: even if true (and you have no proof that it is not true), it might just be a way for her to gracefully get out FOR THIS FIRST DATE without any of the discomfort of kissing, expectations of sex, whatever.

So, chill. Don't let one remark kill your confidence, or you'll NEVER get a date.

It may end up as something you guys laugh about later.

beat yourself up over it. besides, the movie is the easiest part of the first date... usuially nothing happens and theirs usuially little interaction, if she was gonna skip out she would have had her friend call in the middle of dinner or earlier. dont worry about it unless you know for sure that she did it on purpose, afterall, car wrecks DO happen.

-LK

Making up a story of a friend in an accident to escape a date would be about as unkosher as it gets. Relax, dude.

You don't even know what happened yet. If my confidence isn't killed (barely) after some of the wringers my emotions been put through recently, don't let this get to you even if it doesn't turn out well.

I hope things go better for you though and you two get to try it again soon. :hug:

That girl epitomizes what the rest of life will be like.
Don't be fooled again.

Okay, I'm an old broad and mebbe that's why I have zero patience with games,but I say, call her and say, "Look, do you want to go out with me or not? I don't need a reason, I don't need an excuse, I don't wanna hear about why you can't, spare me your blah-blah-blah. Just a good ol' 'yes or no' - you wanna go out or not?" She says "not" and you say "thanks for being honest" and hang up and move on. She says, "yeah" and you set another date.

eileen from OH

this could be considered offensive/insensative, and thus dangerous territory. just my $.02

-LK

Call her and ask how her friend is. If opportune, also ask her out again - even meeting her for coffee at the hospital, that kind of thing. If you get a pause, or pick up a reluctance, then ask her when would be a good time to call. Again, you oughtta be able to pick up, from the way she answers, whether or not she's being straight with you or not.

And if she's not, move on. Put the ball in her court to call YOU, but do it very nicely. And do not wait for the phone to ring. Life is too fucking short to sit by the phone (shit, we women have had decades of this kind of crap.)

But also don't give up on women. Take a new look at your women "friends" (uh, the unmarried ones, okay?) Not to get into a whole "Harry & Sally" thng, but too many times we overlook our friends as potential partners, because they've been designated into some kind of role. The heady feeling of romance is wonderful and exciting, but it often hides the absolutely wonderful fulfillment of discovering love with your very best friend.

eileen from OH

my bad to jump to conclusions.

-LK

then she's in no danger at all, and thus the woman he was on a "date" with has no excuse to go 'see her friend who was in an accident'.

Being in an accident is bad, yes, but if you are in good enough condition to then call your friends and tell them about, you really aren't anything worse than a bad case of diarrhea or something.

The more I think about this, the more I realize that either the call was a bogus lie, or the woman he was on a date with is a shallow, idiotic carpetbagger who isn't worth his time at all.

...She said she got the call from the friend's mother.

Still, the fact is, she didn't bother to turn off her cell phone when she knew she'd be with someone else.

But the truth is this - you asked her on a date, and even though she wasn't with you at the time, she didn't have the courtesy to turn her cell phone off, and instead took a call. Whether the call was legit or not is not releveant - she has told you, in essence, that you aren't worth paying 100% attention to for even a few hours.

I wouldn't tolerate it.

Maybe she's simply utterly immature and doesn't know that cell phones should never, ever, ever supercede over the connection one has with the person at hand, unles you have told the person at hand you are expecting a call or some other arrangement.

Nope, this woman isn't worth your time.

Actually, it was "I've got to go pick my sister up at the airport." Yeah, whatever.

Don't let it get you down. Since then I've had... no dates... and... oh God.

Sorry, I can't be much help here.