What's on your office and/or personal chat client?

Coworker <5:08 PM>:
This is why I need better friends... You'd THINK it would be awesome that my favorite band is going to play at the venue at which my roommate works SELLING TICKETS... All signs points toward I get a) good tickets or b) free tickets.
Fucking.. no.
She texts me and goes, "Do you want tickets?"
I say, "Hell yeah!"
She replies, "Ok; I'm working when they go onsale Friday. $106."
Fucking presale goes on sale tomorrow, which I can get because I'm in the fan club. And pre-sale is $110.
So.. therefore... I need better friends.
Me <5:08 PM>:
one's that can get you free tickets and not have their cats piss all over the place.
Coworker <5:09 PM>:
ideal.
I do'nt think that's asking alot.
Me <5:09 PM>:
i never pay for my shows
Coworker <5:10 PM>:
But I'm not friends with the band... see.. I'm not asking for my friends to BE the BAND.. that's asking too much.
Me <5:11 PM>:
no it's not
Coworker<5:11 PM>:
I'm asking for much less.
Me <5:11 PM>:
reach for the sky
look, i woke up one day in my teens and realized that the best friends to have are in bands or work at bars
Coworker <5:11 PM>:
I think my current criteria is about as attainable as the sky. :-/ i might have a better chance trying to be friends with the band.
Me <5:11 PM>:
ticketmaster friends? what are they going to do for you?
you still have to pay
fuck no
go to the source
Coworker <5:12 PM>:
Hmm... my opening line could be, "Hey Sully remember in 2003 I went to so many of your shows you dumped water on my head and gave me your drumstick and guitar pic? I still have them.. will you be my friend?"
"You mooned me.. that's GOTTA make us friends..."
Me <5:13 PM>:
at this point in the your relationship
i would suggest you give an offering
sex or cocaine
Coworker <5:13 PM>:
I could moon him back.
Me<5:13 PM>:
cocaine isn't cheap so i suggest the prior
Coworker <5:13 PM>:
he's a pot head, not a coke head... I could work with that.
and sex would be fine.. EXCEPT.. let's face it... I can't do it like a rockstar... I'd just be a disappointment.
Me <5:14 PM>:
there's always that to contend with
Coworker <5:14 PM>:
But he's an OLD rockstar.. so maybe.
Me <5:14 PM>:
i'm just saying, i know what works backstage
Coworker <5:15 PM>:
And I don't want to be a groupie... I want to be a friend... what makes friends?
Me <5:16 PM>:
damn. you want it all, don't you?
Coworker <5:16 PM>:
I TOLD you.
Me <5:16 PM>:
here's what you do, give him one or the other or both of the aforementioned
then
Coworker <5:16 PM>:
My FRIENDS suck.. not my fellow-groupies suck...
Me <5:16 PM>:
write some shitty songs and ask him to produce it
seriously
all musicians want to produce albums
don't ask me why
Coworker <5:16 PM>:
lame