Does anyone ever really swear off romance after a bad experience

People say it all the time, after something bad happens they say "I'm swearing off men/women" or "I'm never falling in love again". But does anyone ever go through with that for an extended period of time or is that just an idle threat for most people? I'd be interested in hearing stories from people who actually went through with it for an extended period of time (several years preferably). I want to hear how this stuff turns out.

Maybe for some people, it's true...

But I think for the vast majority of us it's just not true at all.

I've never really been there...

Just my 2 cents!

:hi:

...but I swore off exclusive relationships, and the absurd expectation that a romance should last "forever." And have been much the better for it through all these years! :)

in the best possible way.
the best way to get over someone is to get....um....:hide:
under someone...else....:hide:....um...
Safely, though. I'm only being slightly sarcastic.

And like someone else said, I just quit putting expectations on what I thought relationships should be.
I was very single for a long time, but I'm very married now.

I never did anything stupid when I was single, but I dated a lot. I wasn't always in a serious relationship, but sometimes I was.
If I wasn't, I allowed myself to just have fun and enjoy dating. I was single, and I figured I might as well enjoy myself.

That lasted a couple of weeks. I was mentally going down the checklist of what I wanted in a guy when I finally got my emotional shit together, realized I was pretty much describing somebody I knew, and figured if I waited a year somebody else might figure out how great he was. Since I figured he'd turn me down flat anyhow I let him know I was interested.

That was oh, three and a half years ago. I still don't have all of my shit together, but at least I'm that crazy chick with the adorable boyfriend. ;)

Going on hmmm, let's see, 13 years now.

Love almost killed me. I choose badly and I would rather go without than go through the pain again.

Everything is romance.

So I'd say "no" in my case.
John
Put another way, I've sworn off booze during hangovers -- but I still come back to the bottle, usually sooner rather than later.

I can't say I wasn't lonely and miserable ( still am), but it gets to the point sometimes, where you make the decision that that's still better than the pain of being lied to, betrayed, etc again and again...How does it turn out ? Like I said, lonely and miserable, but when I finally work up the nerve to try again, the same damn thing ends up happening, and I swear off of even trying to meet women again for years sometimes. I don't recommend it; but I've just gotten shell-shocked so badly that it ( being alone) seems like the only remaining solution. I sincerely hope you have the ability to bounce back more quickly than I do ; this being alone for years on end sucks big time.

Especially when the hormones kick in. And I ain't talking
about adolescents. We 50somethings get pretty fucking stupid, too.

:puke:

A person's prolactin, oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine and testosterone levels can be manipulated. So I'm not too worried about that side of things. I shall be master of my domain.

I think my problem is I had severe abuse and neglect when I was younger, and as a result my ability to relate to people was deeply damaged and I have had a lot of heartbreak because of all the bad decisions I made while I was relearning self confidence, boundaries, self worth and all of that.

Now that I am 90% recovered from all that I really don't even know if I want a woman anymore. I have had several women at work want to set me up but deep down inside I know they wouldn't be saying that if I were still the insecure, confused, embarassing person I was 5 years ago. Nobody tried to set me up back then. I have no interest in fair weather relationships, or people who only want me when I'm useful to them.

A woman I was deeply in love with in college who didn't like me back, I found out 2 months ago that she got married. I honestly can't do this anymore, I think this is the last time I can bear to feel this way. I've survived some terrible things and always bounced back good as new, but I can't go through this again.

I think I need to just take 5-10 years or so to figure things out.

I would think that a young lover spurned badly would be more likely to get back in the game sooner...

But an older person who has been burned time and time again may push potential mates away...

I have a good friend who is 36 who swore she would never be with a man again, after too many heartbreaks. She said she was celibate (or did she call it a "dry spell") for about 2 years. She's an unquestionably attractive woman, but she had traumatic, sometimes physically abusive relationships with men. Most of the guys wanted her only for sex and she knew it, but went along. Breaking news: Just as of 2 weeks ago, she kind of has a new boyfriend, definitely some romantic events, but who knows if it will last.

I just got tired of lies and bullshit. I never wanted to have kids but was "told" I'd change my mind later multiple times (hasn't happened at 34, special thanks to my nephews as well). At that point I thought I should hold off dating until it's visibly obvious I'm not getting pregnant. A few years later when my sex drive died I just didn't bother. It's kind of pointless if there's no interest in sex.

FAR outweigh the two positives of being in a relationship...

(I have my own two, BTW.)

I've sworn off sex, too.

I have a best friend who is amazing, and that's enough for me.

Romance, and human contact.

Swearing off romance, does not mean swearing off human contact.

It just means swearing off on romance.

I think my record is 6 years without a date.
My average seems to be about 3 years between relationships.

And how it works out is: I've never gone looking to meet someone.
When I'm ready again, it just kinda happens...even when I don't know
that I'm again.

Odd thing: I'm currently in DUMPsville again, after being with
an amazingly wonderful lady for 9 years, and I'm not "swearing off" this time.

I don't know why, but I don't feel that urge. I spent a few months
sitting around feeling sorry for myself, but that's past
and now I'm feeling the urge to 'get back out there'.