Is my nephew just unsophisticated, or is he a jerk?

I wrote - yes, I said wrote, because I had so little information I had to do far more than just assemble (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8764621) - Mrs. V.'s nephew's resume and emailed it to him yesterday. Finally.

Tuesday night we were supposed to have talked. I called him. He said I caught him at the store, could he call me back when he got home. I said sure. He did not.

Yesterday I took my lunch hour to call him. Began asking him questions to get specific enough information about one of his jobs that it would make sense on his resume. He started to tell me, then said, "Here, talk to my buddy, he knows what words to use better than me."

:wtf:

So his buddy comes on the line and I get more info that I needed. He hands me back to my nephew. I get a little bit more out of my nephew, but again he hands me off to his buddy. This time I don't get handed back to my nephew -- buddy hangs up.

I was pissed. I almost called him back, but I decided if this project is really important to him he's going to have to call me back.

I finished it up and emailed it to him yesterday afternoon -- in PDF format so he can't go in and change things and make it look like shit and get laughed out of opportunities.

I want to give him interview advice: be ready for the tough questions, like, why haven't you been working for these six months? And don't blame anyone else for your errors or faults. Etc., etc. He'd listen and thank me, but the advice would be wasted on him.

That boy has got an awful lot to learn. An AWFUL lot.

I think that will answer all of your questions. He's a young guy, not very serious about his life yet, who is being controlled by his penis. Happens to the best of them, they're often great guys once they learn to control themselves. Or sometimes they stay jerks. Depends on life influences.

I'm sorry he treated you that way, but it is not your job to get this kid a job. Unless his unemployment brings more stress to Mrs. V, though she has no real control over him, either.

IMO he's past the age where he can be so cavalier about work.

His unemployment, and now this attitude toward his resume, are causing no little stress for both of us, because it's a somewhat unstable family as it is. Both are smokers, both are recovering addicts. Lauren Danyelle was born a month early, which makes me assume that girlfriend, lovely woman that she is, didn't quit smoking when she was preggers.

Mrs. V. worries about all the children in her family, but she has a very serious special feeling for Lauren. So knowing that Lauren's parents aren't very stable worries her. (We haven't actually talked about this but I know.)

We both know we have no control. It's a hard position to be in.

I wrote the resume because he needed it ("No one's taking applications anymore, Aunt Kim") and because I could. The rest is up to him.

that is much tougher. I was imagining 18 or 19, but 28 is a whole different situation and his behavior is totally inappropriate. And now you mention it, I remember hearing about him and his gf and baby.

Makes perfect sense Mrs. V. would be worried, if for no other reason than Lauren's welfare.

:hug: to both of you.

He sounds a lot like my youngest brother.

Crash is a pre-law/poli-sci undergraduate minoring in computing. He's just ineloquent and lacks social graces; he doesn't mean to seem rude or discourteous or ungrateful. He also won't take advice. It's probably a good thing that his desired area of specialty is IP/digital-media/computing law (I've been trying to convince him to go to DC and intern for the Electronic Front Foundation for the summer) and that he's surrounded with the stereotypical "geek", the only people he seems to get along with or understand.

He's going to be a hell of a lawyer if he can stop snickering at judges who can't even write JavaScript, but want to decide how the internet shall be. (I have no idea what JavaScript does but I know that he doesn't respect anybody who can't write it.)

will be funny to watch him get eaten up by interviewers.

Maybe after he's been chewed up a few times and suffers the shame of defeat at his own irresponsible hands, he'll learn how to act like an adult.

He'll blame the economy, the government, the evil interviewers, anyone BUT himself and his crappy resume/interviewing skills.

Trust me, I've seen this show before.

And I understand helping those who don't want help because you're concerned about the other people involved. plus you're sick of hearing those who don't want help complain about how awful society is to them.

If he were 18, I'd put him firmly in the unsophisticated category, due to his young age which would partially excuse him.

But you say he's 28 and he has a young child to take care of -- at that point, there is no excuse to be so lackadaisical about job prospects.

I don't mean to rag on the kid, but I'm his age and don't have anybody to take care of, yet I manage to be responsible, so why can't he?

My son is similar, he's actually fairly bright and a bit lazy in certain areas. You wouldn't guess the bright part with his general choice of conversation. So, between my oldest daughter and I we did things for him he should have been doing himself. Which is, I'm now convinced, how he ended up in the military.