I was thinking of giving up swearing

Until I whacked my thumb with a hammer today.

I started yelling FUH! FUH! FUH!

It wasn't the same.

Try something like this:

Yargh! Curse thou dimwitted hammer! Canst thou not strike the proper target? Fie! Fie on thee!

I am unable to recall more that three sequential words at one time.

Just say it three times, loudly. Maybe click your heels together too.

:think:

What the hell would you wanna go and do that shit for?

Now it is only damn and hell, mostly.

I didn't swear much until I went into the Army.

I do think about what I am saying now.

Possible alternatives to the F-bomb that will still give you the physical resonance of "fuck" could include "frack", "vonk", and "frog" and "Vlassic".

--Marge Simpson.

one of the best lines in television. :rofl:

I remember it was a woman, and she was speaking of her father.

"In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay."

There is a bit of an art to it. :smoke:

A Christmas Story :D

I googled it, and it's from the 1983 movie "A Christmas Story".

I usually always take it for granted, but every now and then little things like this remind me just how incredibly amazing the "internet age" is. When I was a kid we had an off brand encyclopedia that was 40 yrs old. Now look at us!

BTW, you talk funny. You talk like Injun man. :)

Johnny: Me, John, big tree!

:P

(I remember a spelling test way back in fourth grade where I couldn't remember how to spell "engine" so I spelled it phonetically, or "injun" )


And would you believe that Johnny Depp will play Tonto in a remake of The Lone Ranger slated for 2112? :rofl:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1210819/

Interesting. I can see the business sense here. He'll certainly draw an audience, and he'll probably pull it off surprisingly well, but it's too bad such a role couldn't go to a Native American actor. Wes Studi came to mind immediately.

I was surprised to learn he's in his early sixties, so he's probably too old now, but even 15yrs ago (Dances with Wolves) he would have been a perfect Tonto. He'd have the voice as well as the look.

I'll be interested to see what kind of Lone Ranger this will be. Whenever I think of the stain of this torture business I think of the Lone Ranger. He was like all the "corny" American ideals wrapped in one package. The thought of torturing someone would have never entered his mind. It would be impossible for him to think such a thing.

Eddie Izzard for the Lone Ranger? He could do it. He's a big guy, he's got the square jaw and all, plus he looks good in a scarf.

He'd probably have to ditch the heels though and that's too bad because I really would like to see that. I'd love to see a deadly serious Wes Studi as Tonto paired up with a totally indecisive and flouncy Lone Ranger. :)

Cherokee.

Thanks for clueing me in.

I don't know how they're going to handle these characters, but if it's like the old tv series, Johnny Depp wouldn't be my first choice. He'll make them money for sure, and that's the whole point, but he just seems a bit too "slight" and fine featured for my image of Tonto. He's a great actor though and I fully expect he'll do a fine job and surprise the hell out of me.

They've gotta get Eddie Izzard for the Lone Ranger though. My mind is set on that now.

Love his work.


EDIT: Just remembered Izzard in "Shadow of the Vampire". Defoe was the show, of course, but Izzard was excellent.

I was thinking of Eddie in his stand-up routine.

A transvestite Lone Ranger and a frustrated and confused Tonto. A direct man of few words trying his best to get things accomplished with this constantly musing and rambling Lone Ranger in heels. :rofl:

Serve to sammythecat!

My esso just suggested William H. Macy via IM. Also very funny.

He'd be great in either role. :rofl:

William H. Macy and Eddie Izzard. Just make the thing a complete farce. Too bad Dick Cavett's too old to play Tonto. Give him a headband and there you go.

in that robin-egg blue, skin-tight Cowboy Outfit the original LR wore.

If there were such a thing as an 'eye-wig', that would be it.

He'd feel spectacular.

I'd love to see a Lone Ranger overly concerned with his outfit and Wes Studi's Tonto having to deal with it all. "What the hell! Kemosabe, you look fine. We MUST go now."

:rofl:


Fantabulous! :D

Poor Tonto. I love his expression. Putting up with more crazy talk from Kemosabe.

Although he'd make a fantabulous Mister Christian (Mutiny on the Bounty) considering he plays Reepicheep in the latest and next Narnia movies :D


(Wes Studi's head just didn't "fit" the old Tonto's body too well, like maybe his face is a bit too square. I could have "warped" it some more, but didn't want to stretch his face out of recognition...)

with this in it:

Fuck that noise... :D

:shrug:

Cut out the sh** work and the fu** work and the cu** word... and try some more flowery language.

Wanker. Bollocks (fave of mine). Shite, Balls-up, Cock-up, Frig. Bugger (another fave). Sod it. Shag. Crap. Piss off. Git. Pillock. Arsehole. Tosser. Berk. Gordon Bennett. Nutter. Plonker. Prat. Wally. Trollop.

There, that should allow you to swear in English. Shame it's not American...

Haven't had the occasion to use it yet, but I hope to. "...you worthless trollop!"

one of my faves along with git, knob, knacker, tinker and arse licker- Although I have a tendency to use feckin or fuckin in front of arse licker, knacker and tinker.

John Terri Fucking Knacker! See what I mean?

Bloody hell. No fair.

Don't quite know why...

My blood pressure's down, too...hmmmmm

Give up fucking swearing, not smash your thumb. :P

but then I meet up with myself and, hell, it just comes natural for me to swear. People wouldn't recognize me without it. I'm the only one who swears are a meeting where they request that no one swears and people don't even hear it because it's part of who I am. I wish the fuck I could stop.