I have once again failed.

I am done trying to Make Princess Bob happy, no matter what i do he is the most unpleasant guinea pig in the world.
Example #1 The Tiki House

I bought this for Bob, of course because of his corpulent behind i biggie sized it and guess what, his ass is too big to fit through the hole, he got half way through it and then got stuck, once i got him out he decided he would just eat the roof and that was that.



Example #2 The Spinning Hay ball---Fail

Bob loves hay, it keeps the mail moving through so i figured after 5 years of the hay trough maybe he'd enjoy the spinning hay ball, it spins gently and not like the blade in a table saw. I fill it up, hook it up and wait, he looks at it and starts making the bad noise and then looks at me and takes off into his igloo, aforementioned huge ass planted at the doorway and he stayed there in that position for almost a day.



Example #3 The cozy pet bed aka i should have put the money on the roof of my car and driven away

So today i was at the pet store and saw one of these beds and thought that would be nice for him, all the rodents pictured on the box sure look happy and grateful, yes grateful their owners love them so much they bought them a special bed, so i buy the largest one--see large ass ref above--and i bring it home, in the cage it goes an i walk away. I just checked on Bob to see if he was enjoying it and he pooped all over the inside and is now sleeping in his igloo.




You suck Bob!

But, like you, I keep buying the toys, beds, treats, etc.

he chattering at me right now because i dared clean his cage, his disgusting stinky cage.

He's a good boy!

oh and one of those rodents looks like a rabbit. :D

He'll figure out how to make it homey.

a poop the size of a golf ball, he will of course wait until i clean his cage and then right after i put him back he'd fire out that shyte just to spite me.

I'm living vicariously though him. I'd like to stick it to "the man" like he is.

i'll never learn, i am Bob's bitch.

Or rather you owe my company a keyboard!

the 'bad noise"?

sorry bout your keyboard but the pooping in the new bed, that just seemed personal you know like "Hey that bed is great, for me to poop on!"

Seek an adversary closer to your level of talent.

Brilliant.

who you sleep with. He's Ayn Rand.