What words or phrases from a sales person drive you up a wall?

"Does that make sense"? ("What. You think I'm stupid?")

Other things:

I want to make sure we're on the same page. (cringe)

Tell me questions you would like me to ask. (do your homework)

I'm so excited and really, really proud to have you on board. (keep bending)

Hey dude, thanks much, buddy, that's rad, I tell ya, man

(Yep, I'm a hard sell)

That part doesn't bother me in particular, but when I respond, "I'm fine thanks" and they keep talking, THEN those words drive me up a wall.

we're generally being leaned on by management to not accept that as an answer. Really...have a heart, even if you have no interest whatsoever in the product, ask any question. It makes us look good to the sales manager.

The scene always unfolds the same way (which is part of why I don't shop there anymore).

I finally get someone's attention and ask for help. I wait 10 minutes. Someone shows up. I spend another 10 minutes explaining my circumstances and ask the key question. The salesperson looks at the back of the package and says (drum roll please)...

"Well, I don't actually work in this department."

I try to politely ask, "Well, can you find somebody that DOES?!?!?!"

And, the answer is always (another drum roll please)...

"Oh, he is on break."

I suspect they "don't work in that department" because they haven't been trained in ANY department!

Curiously, I rarely have that problem and Lowe's and you would think they would be rather similar. Lowe's has the annoying automated voice when you push the red button - "Customer assistance needed in (department name)". It usually doesn't take long for someone to show up and they usually know the products.

Go figure.

If you don't work in this department and don't know the first thing about paint...lead with that information.

I have to admit that I do this one a lot though at work. I work in Lawn and Garden, it's next to Mattresses. Mattresses are covered by the Vacuums department. (I have no idea why. Stoves covers A/C. Lawn and Garden covers Camping and Exercise. Tools covers Paint.) I say "Can I help you?" to someone wandering aimlessly around the lawnmowers. They grab me by the wrist and drag me to a bed and start asking questions. "Um...I'll go get someone from vacuums."

The CEO of Home Depot (HQ is in Minnesota) was the jackass that said that any businessman who didn't vote against Franken should be shot.
When I sent an email to Home Depot telling them I would never shop there again (Lowe's and Home Depot are across the street from each other in my town) I got this nauseating stock reply:

"Thank you for contacting us in this matter.

Our founder and former CEO was using hyperbole to make a point about a specific piece of legislation, the Employee Free Choice Act, and we will be sure to pass your comments along to him.

As it relates to EFCA, like most other retailers -- including our main competitors -- we think it’s a bad bill that takes away American workers’ right to a secret ballot, which is the most basic element of any democracy.

Sarah, Home Depot Communications"

--Thanks, asshole, for educating me on the most basic element of democracy. Will never step foot in your store again.

That's a good reason to avoid them on its own.

I don't know. I may have found what I wanted but who knows what I missed? :shrug:

And being extremely literal-minded, I feel compelled to say so.

Which they ask every fuggin time I see them and the answer is always no. But of course, if they were considerate enough not to waste our time with that question and got caught by the manager, they'd be in trouble. So we have to do the same fuggin song and dance every fuggin time and only because some corporate genius dreamed up a way to try to keep the customers like sheep--which we will continue to be anyway! We don't need the fuggin card and the attendant fuggin question asked every fuggin time we go in the fuggin store!

Phew! Thanks for asking!

:grr:

I'm a customer. I'm not flattered (or fooled) to think the corporation considers me a "guest." What is this, a hotel? How come you're not feeding me or showing me a little more hospitality than trying to trick me into spending more money than I intend to spend in your dump.

(In a word, I'm annoyed by any salesperson's phrase some corporate psychologist dreamed up to lower the customer's guard. I hate that shit! And I feel bad for salespeople for having to lower themselves to humor the corporate idiots who dream it all up!)

At a shop I want to be treated with some professionalism and without all the yelling I get when I'm merely a guest.

I never knew what Jefferson Airplane meant by that phrase.

If you don't believe me, go ask Alice when she's ten feet tall.

What, you weren't before that?

When you request something and are told, "No problem." I don't want to be rude but I'm so damned tempted to say, "I'm so glad you don't have a problem doing something that is clearly your job."

Dale Carnegie was wrong about that one.

I tell them my first name is 'Mister'.

Especially because the name on my credit card is Catherine. It's a beautiful name. I love it. However, no one calls me Catherine - I go by Cathy. Hearing some salesperson call me Catherine just underscores the fact that it's fakey-fake friendliness.

to say 'thank you', so then I feel the need to say it, I guess as a hint or habit, and then they say 'you're welcome'. I worked retail, and YOU are supposed to thank the customer for buying your product, not the other way around... :grr:

Both benefit from the transaction so I don't think it is incumbent on either party to initiate the thank-yous. It is just that retail management has forced their employees to treat customers like nobility for so long that they think they are entitled to it. Well, that's how I see it anyway.

Car buying sucks anyway, but this phrase...:grr:

You KNOW they're just sitting it out in the back, having a coffee or cigarette. It's all kabuki theater.

"Cuz this is such a good deal!"

Be specific man!

I don't know who ever thought that was respectful but, each time a person uses it on me, I feel 1 decade older. Here in Texas, I am now 349.