If you could go back in time and crotch punch one person, who would it be, and why?

For me it would have to be Pope Gregory XIII.

As a programmer, the vast quantities of time I have to spend coding absurdly complicated routines to deal with the Gregorian calendar cause me endless pain and grief. Stop by my cube any time and you may find me weeping or condemning the gods for this torture forced upon me.

Seriously, our calendar is f'ed up. Just try adding a month to February 28th. See what you get. I bet it isn't March 31st.

x(

Damn you Pope Gregory XIII, damn you to hell!


How about you?

Grrrr.


Not that I've gone to work since last fucking November.

For personal reasons.

Also, wouldn't that introduce a temporal paradox somehow?

:D

How obvious is it that I've read entirely too much science fiction?

Ronald Reagan for obvious reasons; he is the author and public face of the completely failed school of thought that has brought our nation to the brink of ruin.

Paul needs explanation. He basically took the teachings of Jesus and added his own misogynistic narrow-minded spin to them, so much so that we no longer have genuine christianity but rather, "Paulism". He has a lot to answer for.

Why not a trip for each hand?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calendar_reform

I've hated our calendar for a long time. It's arbitrary, asymmetrical and ugly.

13 months. Dammit, there should be 13 months.

Not without a whole inter-month week floating around somewhere.

x(

twelve four-week (28 day) months with every third month consisting of five weeks. This allows the year to continue to be easily divisible into four quarters/seasons. The advantage is that every month begins on the same day of the week and quarters (seasons) still have thirteen weeks (even if they really don't).**

Weeks in each month:
Jan & Feb = 4, Mar = 5
Apr & May = 4, Jun = 5
Jul & Aug = 4, Sep = 5
Oct & Nov = 4, Dec = 5

This gets us to 364 days. Once a year, we celebrate Festivus, which doesn't correspond to a day of the week. During leap years, a second day is added.

(** The astronomical seasons aren't the same length. Summer (northern hemi) is about five days longer than is winter. Nothings perfect.)

I'm afraid the reasons are too numerous to list!

That'll save on the ticket price.

Just about any time is appropriate.

The ol' One Two! Pow! KapoW!

But only if there were some sort of hand cleaner I could use that would permanently eradicate the expected aftermath of slime and scum.

and that squirmy little toad would never be born.

Make my day.

mark

Then I try and unvisualized it.

for just one chance to bitch slap Dick Cheney. No, Rush Limbaugh. No, Glen Beck. No, I slug, George Bush in the gut. No, wait aminute. I'd just slap Cheney in the face as hard as I could. See what you've done. You've made me go mad with vengence.....

Always a good choice!
Very satisfying that way.

then i'd arrange for him to be "accidentally" run down by a bakery delivery truck

And he's not happy.

'Nuff said.

:P