Need advice : How do you flirt with a total stranger

without being inappropriate.

I have no clue

But that's just me. :)

someone must start !

then do the opposite. :(

Wait, I only use that line on my wife. Never mind.

:)

I always shout that when I pick her up when I catch her on her way home from work. She thinks it is funny, but we do get some weird looks.

I mean, I've heard... I mean, not from everyone, just from... I mean... Oh heck.

Usually fairly clumsily, and with little effect. :)

some things you can never learn it seems

Unless I'm adequately tipsy, it wouldn't happen.

If we are talking flirting with a stranger, I'd have to be liquored up.

Step Two: Attempt to make a fumbling back-track from Step one

Step Three: Fail at correcting the offense

Step Four: Give up

:)

It works every time. :)

:hi: Long time no see!

Seriously, make a funny or witty remark about something that is happening around you both, or something that they are wearing, and smile and laugh a little. "Hey I like your t-shirt, or those shoes", or what have you.



That's usually how it works.

That usually works.

Or you could try the other method. Go where she is, walk up to her, say something obvious, humorous, and not over-used or scripted. The problem with shy people flirting--and I'm one--is that they always try to hide the fact that they're flirting, like they are ashamed of it and hope the other person doesn't catch them doing it until they have already fallen under your spell. The problem is, you want them to know you are flirting, because that's the only way they flirt back and the whole thing gets moving. So, don't be afraid to be obvious, and don't insult them by acting like you aren't doing exactly what you are doing.

Also, most of the early stages are non-verbal. Make eye contact--sometimes that's all the opening line you'll need. Don't turn away--she'll turn away first. If she doesn't, just walk up and start talking, because that's an invitation to talk. Unless she's reaching for a can of mace or telling her boyfriend that you're staring, anyway. If she does turn away, she'll turn back to you within 30 seconds for a second glance. No matter how brief, that's also an invitation--moreso if the gaze lingers. Either way, don't turn away. If she doesn't look back at you, that means she's not interested. You can still try an opening line, but she's basically already telling you she's not interested.

And once she responds, don't keep piling one joke after another. The biggest problem I have, and that I've seen, is that the first joke works, so you add a second, and a third, and pretty soon you can't figure out how to get past that first level, and she's begun to think you are shallow. So, once you have her attention, start a conversation. About anything--the bar, her drink, her eyes. Pepper the conversation with your humor and your intelligence. Sound like you think she'll be interested, but don't sound self-absorbed or arrogant. Don't sound scripted, and talk to her like you already know her.

And remember, the most interesting thing you can talk about is her. That's not saying you should start flattering her or manipulating her, just that if she wants to know what you do for fun, she'll ask, and if she wants to know more than "Mountain biking," she'll ask "Why mountain biking?" Ask her about her, and actually listen and care, and she will find you interesting because of it. That's not a gender-specific comment, either--it works on anyone, for whatever reason you are talking to them. Sales 101.

Who knows, it might work.

excellent

so grunt in semiotic syllables then club 'em over the head and drag them back to the cave.

No, really. I find that a smile opens doors. If you smile and they smile back, that's a free pass to start a conversation. "Hi" followed by an astute observation is the best pick-up line in the universe.

Although I do! Even though I am serially monogamous and not a "playah". I'm even married right now--for like, six going on seven years--what is up with that?

I recommend the "This seat taken?" gambit. This is designed for a bar, but works wherever there are places to sit. You find a way to sit by the target. Now that you are in proximty, if something interesting or not even that very, happens,you have an opporunity to talk.

Example: The TV at the bar shows that a local team has won a game--

You: It could be the "Hometeam"s year, you think?"

Or:

The President gives a killer speech abroad.

You: "Wow--he really nailed it in Cairo--it's nice that we have a president who can speak to people."

Now--this would be useful--the response:

"Sure, on account of he speaks Muslim..." (Advice--sit elsewhere at your nearest opportunity.)

Or:

"Exactly right--he knows exactly what message he means to deliver and says what he needs to say--are you interested in another drink?"

(Um, that one would be the keeper....)

In the sense that I could never 'close' with them (ie I could talk to them and get signs of interest, but thats it mostly), but for the most part (at least in college) if you go up to them and say hi and talk to them like a person, about 50% are willing to talk with you. The other 50% blow you off, but its worth it to get to the nice ones.

Of course, college is a different atmosphere. For one thing the women are insanely attractive there so it makes many of them more insecure (and insecure people are more open to being approached). Plus a college atmosphere is more open to people and you have a sense of community you don't have with random strangers.

Hell, I have no useful advice on this subject. Carry on. Today at a grocery store I saw a girl I wanted to go up to and talk to. Back in college I must've approached about 100 strange women (some classmates, some just walking around) but now I'm afraid to do it anymore. Sucks.

If I see a fair maiden that grabs my interest I usually pull the old "Make eye contact, then smile and look away all embarrassed" maneuver. See where it goes from there.

:spray: :rofl:

I always thought, "What is he looking at? Do I have chive tooth or something?"

Also helps if you have a sports car and a job with no chance of upward mobility.

If you can't manage the sports car, then at least get a neon license plate holder, and preferably a money clip.

If the money clip has something on it that tells a woman you are the coolest, greatest guy ever - like "Motley Crue" or "Women Are Whores" or "I Love Hitting Women" - then you'll really win.


As far as clothing, either dress in a totally faddish way completely devoid of any sense of personal thought, or you can also luck out if you're the type of guy who has a special "formal" baseball hat and thin, polyester short-sleeved "dress-shirt" for funerals.

...or any heavy, oily, musky cologne...the cheaper the better, that wraps itself around your nose hairs and painfully yanks them out in bunches like Satan's tweezers.

The ladies L-O-V-E a man who knows how to bathe in cheap cologne.

:rofl:

Yesterday I saw an old blue Chevy Cavalier sporting shiny silver Trucknutz. Seriesly. The driver was exhibiting testosterone-fueled douchery in the most pathetic manner imaginable.

I could totally see myself doing that to a junker. (and I'm female)

I HOPE that's what he was doing.

:rofl:

They're so disgusting.

Just for starters.

Don't go for "pickup lines", at least till later in the conversation and then present it naturally.
You may be pleasantly surprised - people may be waiting to overcome their shyness and talk to you.

(or not)

:pals:

mark

All my GFs started out as platonic friends. :shrug: