Teenage sons are a pain in the ass

I have 2 teenage sons. One just graduated from HS. Honor student. But sometimes I feel the kid don't have an ounce of common sense. Can't talk to him, he's always angry and he is controlled by his sweetheart, who doesn't get the parenting I feel she needs. He will start college in the fall, but wants to stay local and live at home. Mainly because of his GF. Ever since he got his license, my life has been turned upside down. Doesn't want to work full time, says he deserves one more summer off. He does work part time. Won't help around the house, won't take care of his car, which I gave him, treats his siblings rudely, has had run ins with the police, believes every single thing his friends tell him. I am at wits end.

I have no problem believing that she has her own problems with a teenaged child.
Both of you are going through tough times.

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I post on another board and get mocked a lot

maybe I am just gun shy

especially if the attitude continues. A dose of real life (well, sorta anyway) can do a world of good.

Let him stay at his girlfriend's place.

Freeloaders can't freeload off of each other. Your kid needs a kick in the pants. So does his freeloading girl.

Didn't see your post. Very interesting comments. Mostly dealing with girls. That will be next. Can't wait.

maybe we should just post all teens are pains in the ass

I haven't been through it myself, but I've watched bits and pieces of the video from it in the background while I was helping out a high school counselor on a project. It focused a lot on figuring out who owns which problems, you or them, who needs to solve them (sort of a which-battle-to-fight strategy), consequences for actions, and seemed to have some good tips on communication when things have spiraled downhill with your kids.

Not sure I can endure 4 more years while he gets PhD. Sheesh.

The car will eventually die, and he'll learn about taking care of it.

His run ins with the police will either subside, or lead to the inevitable.

As for the rudeness, make it clear it will not be tolerated.

Do not do his laundry or pick up after him, except to deposit any of his stuff he leaves around the house square in the middle of his bed. This method works, they can't sleep until they deal with it.

Tell him if he expects dinner, he will have to contribute grocery money. If he does not give you any when it's due, do not buy for him. If he chooses the $1 menu, fine.

Do not let him stress out your life without consequences.

take a deep breath and know it will eventually be good. These are mine (HS graduation of last son)and I miss them so. All the work is worth it.




*hint - my experience is - girls are more frustrating than boys!

Sometime when I was around 30-ish, my mom and I apologized to each other for how we treated each other during my teenage years. That was a great day, for serious.