What's it called when you're perfectly happy but you believe the worst...

...is approaching?

As in I love my wife, my family, my new job, my new city, everything...But I have this almost certain belief that the neo-CONs are going to break the "bank" (As in the complex web of taxes (Ie. SOCIETY) for the federal gummint, counties, cities, states, businesses, regionals, etcetera, that make the world turn. Once agian...They're aiming to BREAK THE BANK) and the shit is maybe a year away from hitting the fan????

Buy rice and rounds?

I hate the Bushits for pushing us to the brink. Yes that is probably hypocritical for a Socialist to say that but hell, I'm not quite ready for the goddamned REVOLUTION! Yet.

Which is what will happen once the Iron Heel (Of the new fascism that gets itself broken some years after it's created. Post 2004) is smashed...

So is it a gleefully cognizant gallop over the cliff?

Would that be "Gleefully Fatalistic"?

hedonistically fatalistic?

So let it be. But wait! I'm not really a "hedonist", at least not any more.

I'm an optimistic cynic, so...it could happen.

I'm thinking the same stuff... thinking about selling my house before the economy tanks and/or they close the Air Force base in the area, either of which will slash the value of my over-leveraged house. Thinking about stripping down possessions to maybe one storage "pod" somewhere, basics for a one bedroom apartment, and a subset that I can fit in my Honda should the shit really hit the fan. Thinking about what other kind of job I could possibly get should something happen to drive my business under. Thinking about getting a gun (or cyanide capsule) in case things get so bad that I just can't bear it. Or figuring out how to get my ass to Switzerland after election day to take refuge with my sister's family.

But you're right. Nothing has actually changed for me in the past six months, except for all the damn warning signs and news and fear-mongering taking their toll on my state of mind and confidence in the ability of society to survive the Bush* regime.

hedonistically, fatalistically, pragmatically doomed

I'm not sure if that's the terms, but the disconnect between the personal and the public.

I've felt that at different times, in a more short term way. Like you read a book or see a documentary about something horrible going on like environmental devestation, social decay, political meltdowns -- whatever. While absorbed in it and afterward, the world seems dark and dangerous, and imminent disaster seems the domonant reality.

But then the next day or two, the sun comes up, life goes on, good things happen personally, and that emotional response fades. The potential peril is still there, and so is the intellectual awareness, but the emotional whallop is dissapated. Instead attention is focused back on the here and now of daily life.


Actually some of the most joyous and lively people have also had the bleakest view of life in the abstract. A paradox I've always found interesting.

But I "get" the dichotomy so well that maybe it's just a uncomfy state of being?