Daughter is back for a week...I am trying my best to be disconnected yet civil

She is in some kind of job training at the college she will be attending and if she passes the training she will have a pretty good job while going to school.

She called her dad to ask if she could stay



I can not let my heart be broken by her any more than it already is



I am not prying, I am not interferring, no questions,


but neither am I doing her laundry ect...


I did fix dinner and just happened to fix somehting she really likes


I am having a REALLY hard time not telling her how I feel


funny thing is...

the more detatched I am, she wants a little more of me...even asked my opinion on some foundation she bought...which I happily helped her with but that 5 minutes of civility was over too quickly and she is back in her room shut off from us

All I have is this :hug: to give you. Hang in there!

I am trying

but it is taking all my willpower to not just march into her room and tell her what I think...



maybe this detatched attitude is making her think a bit


but it kills me that she is "daddy's girl" and doing things with him ect...

I've been really worried about you since that last post. :hug:

Give her a little room to do some more growing up. Have faith in the way you raised her - when she has a little more life experience under her belt, she'll realize how much her mother loves her.

I'm crossing my fingers for you both!

and I don't mean to cause anyone undue worry

We are all part of a community here. I was worried because I could see how hard it was on you, and because I remember going through a few tumultuous years with my own mom. I am only now beginning to understand how some of the things I did then really, really hurt my mom, and that it took time and effort on my part to re-earn her trust. I am hoping that your daughter understands (sooner, rather than later) what a loving mom she has. Not everyone is so lucky. Much love to you both as you walk this difficult path together, though not always side by side. Your relationship with each other will be much richer for the experience down the road. I promise.

:hug:

girl, as well.

try as hard as you can to not be needy, this bridge must be crossed. she must morph into an adult now. let the "you" you show her be supportive of her independence and proud of her efforts. become passionately involved in what you love that does not always include her. remember the first time she rode her bicycle down the road, the ache in your heart the first day of school. it's what we do, we make people and then let them go. it's the hardest part of being a mother.

good luck to you little sister.

it really isn't what they want. Not saying that is her case, but it sounds like it.

Keep your chin up, you will get through this!

:hug:

I think she is seeing how hard life is


I heard her telling her daddy that 95 dollars she had to spend was going to go fast because of gas from driving back and forth



Mommy used to slip her gas money....NOT any more

to keep distant


goodness

just give her what she wants for now , let her be.

but make sure it's loving space, not passive aggressive.

You both will be fine in time.

I have been thinking about you and wondering how things were going. The last post I saw, you said she was packing. I must have missed a post because I don't remember seeing anything about when or where she went.

We have not heard from my daughter since she went to live with her bio-father at the end of May. She's been posting it up on Myspace and from the looks of it, she's having the time of her life. I suspect she doesn't have as many rules there as she did here. My heart is broken too, but I am giving her space. I am just hoping she decides to contact us soon. Even though I know where she is, it kills me.

I am sorry you are having to go through this. But in a selfish way, I appreciate you posting about your problems because it makes me realize that I'm not the only one. I really hope it gets better soon for the two of you.

That sounds like a very difficult situation. :(

:hug:

I think you handling it very well. Keep your distance, and show that you love her with measured affection. She clearly wants her space, and wants that distance, but wants that affection too, so you're are doing the right thing.

I think it's the right thing for both of you, so that neither of you get hurt again unnecessarily. You are giving yourselves time and space to heal. :hug:

Please be good to yourself, and to each other, but please mind that distance. It's good for both of you.

:loveya:

this is just a phase for her. One day, y'all will be the best of friends. She just needs to grow and grow up. :hug: Hang in there.

I promise I did NOTHING

I am so sorry you have having to go through all this. It must be an emotional roller coaster.

off again. Kind of a landing pad for familiar comfort, I think.


Be patient - it's a hard time for parents. :hug: