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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:24 AM
Original message
Quick I need grammar help with 2 sentences, it's very important
Edited on Fri Jul-17-09 01:27 AM by Lorax7844
Tomorrow my hubby and I are celebrating our 10th weeding anniversary and I am working on a really good facebook status that captures our time together. We are doing tons of other celebratory things, dinner, a party, no kids for the night, etc. I just wanted to get a quick grammar check, I would appreciate any help.

here it is:

12 years together, 10 years married, 2 children, 7 pets, 6 homes, 8 states, 5 countries, and 2 continents: so far. My partner, my friend, my hero, my love, I just want you to know that I love you more now than ever.
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:27 AM
Response to Original message
1. Also, do you think that this is good enough?
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:34 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Definitely good enough!
I think he will be thrilled!

:hi:

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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:32 AM
Response to Original message
2. I think those are wonderful!
Congratulations on your 10th anniversary!

And welcome to DU!

:toast:
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:35 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. I know that with all those commas the grammar must be wrong
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:36 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. The commas are fine.
They are not wrong!

:hi:
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Betsy Ross Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:34 AM
Response to Original message
4. Lovely.
If you are really looking for grammar input: I think the colon could be replaced with a comma. But it isn't really a complete sentence anyway, so just go with your heart.
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:36 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. really? could I make it all one sentence?
Edited on Fri Jul-17-09 01:36 AM by Lorax7844
my hubby is my grammar nazi and I want it to be perfect.
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:38 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. One sentence would make it better
what punctuation do I change?
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 02:03 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. how bout now?
We've had 12 years together, 10 years married, 2 children, 6 homes, 7 pets, 8 states, 5 countries, and 2 continents (so far); my partner, my friend, my hero, my love: I just want you to know that I love you now more than ever.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 02:30 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. Well, if you're one of those Serial Comma freaks...
:P



Start a new sentence after "(so far)," then change the colon after "my love" to an em dash, which you can do on your PC by holding down the "alt" key and typing 0151 on the keypad, with the number lock on.

— See?



It's a lovely sentiment, btw. :)
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old mark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 02:17 AM
Response to Original message
10. L7: First sentence is fine except the colon (:) is incorrect I'd just use a dash (-).
Second sentence be fine.

Emotional content is great.

Have a happy anniversary and many more to come.

Oh, yeah, it's wedding, not weeding.

markO8)
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handmade34 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 02:17 AM
Response to Original message
11. I edit my sons papers all the time and always fear
I will change an intended meaning. Your statement is lovely; another way I would make it flow.

We have shared 12 years together, 10 of those married with the additional joy of 2 children, 7 pets, 6 homes in 8 states, 5 countries, and 2 continents. My partner, my friend, my hero, my love: I want you to know that I love you now more than ever.

CONGRATULATIONS!
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
13. good as is. nt
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 11:44 AM
Response to Original message
14. nice, as is....my version -
12 years, 10 married, 8 states, 7 pets, 6 homes, 5 countries, 2 children and 2 continents, so far so good.
My partner, my friend, my hero, I love you now more than ever.
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 11:47 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. that's it
thank you
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. oh my! You are most welcome...
Have a wonderful celebration :hug:
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 11:57 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. Thanks this evening will be full of good food
good drinks, good friends, and good conversation, it's gonna rock!

I did switch my list to where children were 3rd but that was the only change.

Thanks for the help everyone. :) :party: :toast: :hi: :grouphug:
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gmoney Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:03 PM
Response to Original message
18. How can you have lived in 8 states AND 5 countries and only had 6 homes?
or are those places you've visited, or are you only counting purchased homes rather than apartments?

I mean, I'm sure you know your life, it just didn't add up to me.
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. visited, we've only lived in 2 towns
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
19. First off, what is a 10th 'weeding' anniversary?
And second, can you please send me some?
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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 04:10 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. punk it was a typo and by the time I noticed it was too late to change
:P
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 04:34 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. Oh, so no sharing, huh?
Just come out and say so.


You weenie.





:rofl:




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Lorax7844 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 04:35 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. That's right I'm gonna celebrate all by myself!
No weeding for you!
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 04:49 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Enjoy your day!
And stay away from the Doritos and Twinkies.

:hi:



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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-17-09 04:56 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. The family that gardens together stays together
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