I'm visiting my Mom who lives in my Grandparents home.

Well, it was my mom's home growing up too.
Actually, my mom owns the home with my aunts now, but my mom lives here full time.

I'm just sitting here thinking that my Grandmother would have a cow if she saw what a clutter mess my mom has turned this place into.
The back bedroom is the worst ever. UGH!
That's partly why I'm here. (this is 400 miles from DFW)
Grandma was not a neat freak, but was very tidy and particular. Grandad was the neat freak, a bit OCD sometimes.
This place is a mess. I can't believe it.
My mom's upset she's let it get this bad. But the little girl in me keeps thinking my grandma is going to come home and will be PISSED when she she's this mess.
I mean this in a kind of "I miss my grandma-that's what she would say" kind of way.

Also, I'm drinking wine after my long drive tonight. That's one thing that I would never have been able to do before.

It's weird being in my grandparent's home and them not being here. It felt weird after granddad died (2004), but now that grandma is gone too (it's been a year and a half)...
It's weird to think that I could be here and she's not. That I'm drinking wine in her home - she wouldn't have approved.

Strange to be an adult in your grandparents home, making decisions....it's just weird.
Tomorrow I'm going to clean and throw out my grandmother's bathroom cabinet with old toiletries that need to be thrown away. *sigh* Grandma stuff is everywhere. *sigh*

Hang onto your memories...

They are special...

But don't let them stop you from doing what needs to be done...

:hug:

but my mom...well....that's another issue.

:hi:

and it sounds to me like you've got everything going on all around you, on so many levels.

You're the little girl in your grandparents' home, where you were a little girl, with your Mom, who was their little girl.

Now you're the adult, with your adult Mom, and your grandparents are gone so very recently, and the little girl is there, too, everywhere you look.

And you're suddenly the only adult, your Mom's mother, cleaning and going through things, and helping her, and putting things back into the order that your grandmother cherished and your grandfather enforced and that you find comforting, and the little girl is still there, watching you.

Levels within levels, layers upon layers, and in the middle of it all, every memory you ever had of that place and all the people who ever were in it. Every argument, every laugh, every birthday cake, every tear, every win, and every loss.

You're in the middle of The Power Of Place, the music of loved ones gone, the mother who now needs you in a whole different way, and that little girl who is who you really are, if only anyone could see her besides you.

It's a powerful and rich time. Thank you for showing it tonight. You are square in the middle of the Circle of Life.

Savor the wine. You are proof that life goes on, that no one ever dies. You're everyone's future, and that little girl is right there, smiling at you...............................................

next time though, I'm going to bring a good bottle of wine...
instead of the box wine my mother can only get 80 miles from here. LOL

and both of them have trouble managing housekeeping.

My mom lives in her childhood home, which is owned by her and my aunts. She had moved in with my grandparents back in the mid-90s after my grandpa had a stroke and my grandma needed someone to help take care of him. Gramps died in 2002 and grams in 2003, so it's my mom and dad.

Unfortunately, my mom doesn't like getting rid of anything, especially when it deals with her parents. I'll say the house is kept fairly clean and isn't near the level you make your mom's house sound, but I can understand it.

but I just hate seeing her live in this mess.

She could ask for help, but won't.
She could hire a housekeeper, but won't.

There's also the emotional energy tied up in all the crap -- I get that.

I just hate to see her live this way.
There are several things going on -- She's 65 and overweight, so it's very hard for her to get to cleaning.
And she's got issues she's never chosen to deal with so she keeps eating and keeps the clutter.
She wasn't always this bad, but it gets worse the older she gets.
The kicker is she's all all kinds of 12-step, therapy, etc...she just doesn't do the work to get better.
And I can judge a bit, because I have done the work. Anway...I feel for her. I'm a lot more tolerant than I used to be, I just wish she would take care of herself better.