Thank god I still have my dog - RANT ahead -

Sorry for the rant but I'm hurt and pissed of and on my second glass of wine.

I'm not going to harsh on all men - I know there are good guys out there - this is for the inherently mean men.

Why break up over email? Not enough stones to make a call or do it face-to-face? After 11 months, one would think that the end of the road deserves a little more than an email saying, "I've found another woman that I've been seeing a while and like her a lot."

At 46, going back into the dating pool is just too damn hard and somewhat humiliating!

I wanted a friend, someone to like and do things with - mutual activities we enjoy, I didn't want to be smothered and I didn't smother you - I knew you didn't want that either.

Why pretend to be interested AND sleep with me and then bail?

Why attend all the activities and pretend you're having a great time - you could have just politely declined.

For a change, I went with the nice guy - I thought that was you - and got burned; I should have stuck with the bad boys and I'd then know the eventual outcome and not have gotten emotionally invested.

Okay, RANT over.....
Time to move on, rework on Match.com and Plenty of Fish....and horrors, I might try eHarmony...I know it's all fundie but dammit, I deserve a nice guy. Alt.com is great for a sex partner but not for much more than that.

I hate dating....

well almost all of them. No all of them. Ok, a large portion. Of course I think a lot of women suck too. So in general we all suck. Now I'm just confused.

I can disagree that some men and some women suck - that's just the way it goes.

I hope to learn from this and move on - even if it's alone....and that sucks even more.

Thanks for the response newcriminal - I wish you luck in whatever relationship you might be in or pursuing.

He was only pretending to be a nice guy. What a dud.

He was a wimp to do what he did....and probably not a nice guy.
Thanks for the message.

I'm 39 and haven't really dated in ten or so years, so I don't even know where to start. Everything has changed with all the Facebooks, dating sites, etc. Writing a profile should be easy, but it is not! Part of the reason for that is that I can't divulge too much info until I am legally divorced.

If you have any pointers, I would love to hear what you've got!

It does suck at times - I won't deny that. But you might up end up meeting someone great - I am an eternal optimist and that will never go away.

I started on match.com and I'll be honest, from a past relationship and "other" interests I have, I have a profile on alt.com - and the person I met was on both sites - who could figure.

Anyhow, in my age range at match, I get responses from a lot of men that are nice, but not my type (have younger kids, want kids, etc). My sister has had luck with eHarmony but I'm hesitant to do that because I know there's a Christian undercurrent/base there....and I'm not looking for a fundie type of man.

I'll host my fabulous summer party this Saturday without a date and will just figure out where to go from there.

If you want to chat more - feel free to PM me :)

Best of luck to you Awake!

I need all the help I can get!

:hug::hug::hug:

I am feeling the same way - thanks, I did need some confirmation of his asshole-ness that I'm now realizing what a crappy thing he did to end things.

Can I just say, while I was in Ireland, I looked for a t-shirt with your name, Goddess of Guiness? Couldn't find one - and that was a bummer.

I think I'm gonna try out as the relationship mentor of the Lounge!

:hug:

:rofl:

But he smooches other people right in front of me. :shrug:

when I got the email and cried my eyes out for a while. She also helped me finish the big vanilla soft serve cone I got for lunch - she lurvs her some ice cream!

I am so thankful for my doggie - the more I date the more I love my dog!

:hi: :hug:

you were mistaken when you pegged him as "the nice guy." A nice guy would not end a relationship of 11 months with an email. Period. Full stop. So accept that you misread him, and possibly the entire situation. There is, in fact, more than one variety of "bad boy" out there. Some are just more subtle than others.

And you're absolutely right about another thing - whatever else transpired between you, there really is no justification for his handling this in this fashion. It was, in fact, a gratuitous cruelty. At a minimum he should have done this face to face, reasonably and attentively listened to anything you had to say, and then given you straight answers to any questions you might have had.

You deserved better, and I'm sorry that you didn't get treated with more respect. Better luck with the next guy.

I honestly appreciate your comments - and you're right, he was not a nice guy and probably just played one during the time we dated.

Your message is the 'bracing fresh air' that I needed while dealing with this and I really am happy you responded.

I'll be more careful next time and hope that it works out better....who the hell knows, huh?

obviously you deserve better.

Dogs rawk.

you took a chance, and it worked out badly. But didn't you have some good times together?

He did a terrible thing, ending it via email. That's pure chickenshit, and just for that, you're better off without him.

But, just a thought - are you sure you want to jump back into the dating world right away? Maybe you want to take some time to get over this and be nice to yourself. Give yourself some healing time, because it sounds like you need it. You got a hell of a shock, and it takes time to get over that sort of thing.

Think about it. You are your own best company - along with your dog - and you might see things through different eyes with some time, and relaxation, and rest, and pampering of yourself.

Just a thought.

And, yes, he sucks......................

and my stupid dog rolling in the mud and then proceeding to sneak into the house...

OR is it somehow the same thing?

Either way, good luck :)