For your consideration: Squeezable Bacon. I shit you not.

(don't know if this is very wrong or something that I will eat guiltily at 2am)

Squeezable Bacon
By Ben on Sun May 3 2009

Wow,a very cool product, the Squeezable Bacon, it was used as an April Fool, but it is real!
You can squeeze a 100% bacon paste from a tube. Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon($8) is fully cooked 100% bacon, made from U.S. bred swine. And I have found it has incredible feature that it can store 12 years -shelf Life of 12 years and no refrigeration needed. (oh my god!!)
"Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do! "

http://www.likecool.com/Squeezable_Bacon--Food--Body.html

...surrounded by empty tubes of squeeze-bacon and a drained bottle of scotch.

lulz


Still though... :9

Bacon has only negative food value. I figured everybody knew that.

:puke:

Okay, so that wasn't a word.
But you get the point.

I'll buy a gross of those tubes.

I know, I know.

It was developed as embalming fluid, then someone thought, "Add bacon flavor, thicken it a bit, put it in a squeeze tube and you betcha somebody'll buy it."

There's just one thing more constant than human ingenuity and that's teh stupid.

I squeeze you not!

Put squeezable bacon ON bacon? Zounds.