I have it on excellent authority that the Rapture may not be all that for many Christina men. My sources inform me that there will be no sex in Paradise. None. They further inform me that all genitalia will be replaced by a Barbie and Ken-like smooth area of skin upon the Rapture.
Don't tell any of your fundamentalcase friends about this. It could lead to the immediate loss of faith of tens of hundreds of Christinas.
2. Actually, I have it on good authority that those left behind
will be the fundamentalist Christians and the rest of up will be taken away from them as a reward for putting up with their bullshit for so long. And there will be plenty of reward -- and very good beer -- for the rest of us.
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