I don't really post here anymore, but a PSA for parents and others:

My Dad died suddenly on Friday night. No will, no savings. I am currently dealing with a lot of bureaucracy and insurance companies and creditors, and basically trying to get my Dad buried. I wish I had the time to grieve right now, but I don't.

So please, make arrangements before you get too old, sick, whatever to do so. It's the least you can do for your survivors.

This is a vent and a PSA. This is a very frustrating process. x(

and you are missed here.

She's permanently hospitalized.

Thank you, friend. :hug:

Yes, that funeral planning process is about the hardest thing to deal with while grieving, and no will complicates things as well.

I hope you have other family supporting you during this difficult time. :hug:

My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved Dad...

It's always a shock, even when you know it's coming...

You are so right about making the appropriate arrangements before your family needs them...

My husband and I have done this and I know our kids will appreciate it.

You are missed here...

:hug:

The shock has passed, but man, I have a mile-long list of things to deal with. This is exhausting.

And good on both of you for doing that. Sniffa and I are going to start working on our own arrangements asap.

:hug:

Mr. Laurel had to deal with much the same thing earlier this year. It was a nightmare.

:grouphug:

I know you've been dealing with this for a long, long time. Anything I can do?

May he be free from suffering. Peace and comfort to you and yours. :hug:

and I completely agree with your PSA.

It's hard enough to lose your dad...to face all this other stuff just adds to the pain.
Hang in there.

hang in there. SMOOOOOCH :hug:

I'm so overwhelmed. This really, really sucks. :hug:

another :hug:

And I sure agree with your PSA.

I know what you're going through. My son has a friend whose father died suddenly, without a will. It's been almost three years now, and they are nowhere near settling everything. The sad thing is that he and sister may well lose every penny they could have inherited through lawyer's fees.

Everyone should have a will, even if it's just handwritten.

to you and your family Bi_Baby, I'm so sorry:hug:

has a small amount for funeral/burial. I think it's something like $255. Not much, but it's something.

Sorry to hear about your dad and all the troubles you are dealing with. Have you considered cremation? Much cheaper.

Hope it all clears up for you soon. :hug:

Latest quote I got, $2500. Money's not there. What a fucking racket.

Thanks :hug:

willing to accept donation. If you're okay with that, most do the cremation and a memorial service later with the families invited.

That's about all I got, hon. :hug:

If you dont have insurance they will take you to the cleaners. I had to choose a basic cremation and least priced urn. Cost $1000 not including cost for the cemetary. Another $1000 or I could have scattered the ashes somewhere but I wasnt going to deal with that.

I had to use one of those 'crimescene cleanup' services when my mom died also. They tried to take me for $20,000!

It is a racket. If you dont have insurance they will take you to the cleaners. I had to shop around for the cheapest home in town and most inexpensive option is a cremation plus all the charges for the cemetary and burial. Cheapest cremation was $999. Then the cemetary has all their costs.

A friend of mine installs televisions and home theatre systems for people and he told me he installed a bunch of flat screen tv's in a funeral home. And that the owner of the funeral home paid to have almost 15 Televisions mounted in his new big house. They make A LOT of money.

My father was a service-connected 100% disabled Veteran. The VA won't cover cremation, but we will be partially reimbursed. They also cover the casket, burial, gravestone, etc at the National Military Cemetery on Cape Cod.

I know I could have it worse, but damn, it's frustrating.

I'm sorry for what you went through. :hug:

Even though my dad had carefully planned everything, including an up-to-date will, we still had issues to deal with after his death. Your situation must be a nightmare by comparison and I'm sorry you have to go through this on top of your personal loss. I know you'll get through this ok because you're smart and you and your husband are good people. Peace to you and your family, and take care of yourself. :hug:

I love you.

:hug:

I almost passed this thread without clicking on it because of the term PSA... just thought it was something about children illness or something.

So sorry to hear about your loss. I know your father was very ill for a long time, but nothing can truly prepare a person.

:hug:

Great advice on the will issue. I'm glad I took care of it!

:hug:

You've gone through a lot with both of your parents, and now this. I had to do the same thing when my dad died (nearly 20 years ago). This is a good reminder for me and my husband to go over everything and make sure it's the way we want things to go. I'm so sorry you're going through this.:hug:

and my deep condolences.

In reality we are all too buy in making a living, watching over friends and families and, I suppose, some superstition about writing a will that we never get around to it.

And it is not just a will, it is also a living will. While your dad died suddenly, at least your family did not have to worry about directives to hospitals and other care takers.

And, please, don't go at it alone. Find someone who has done this before and who can offer a helping hand.

My condolences.

We were lucky to be a cast of thousands who could divvy up the work and expenses when our mother died.
The cremation rates are a fucking racket. Don't get me started.

:hug:

:hug:

Er I went through the same thing with my mom and am having to deal with lots of shit keeping my dad in a nursing home. Its damn near impossible when you havent seen the family in years but end up the only one available.

Dad died, Mom is permanently hospitalized. She's 'lucky' to have one of very few rare diseases that make it easier for her to get benefits, ALS.

It just sucks though. :hug:

:hug:

their funeral arrangements (and pre-paying) so that we would not have to deal with it when the time came.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope that the process gets better for you.

sincere condolences. I know what you are going through, and it's not easy.

My dad had made no arrangements either. My mom fortunately handled everything, and while she was at it, she made plans for herself as well. I know that was hard, but I also know that she was trying to spare us a lot of future guesswork and expense.

Unfortunately funeral directors/mortuaries find it all too easy to take advantage of people at a very vulnerable time, and their services don't come cheap. I wasn't entirely happy with what transpired with regard to my dad as I think they may have not been entirely honest with my mother. However, it's done and over and I don't intend to revisit it.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I hope eventually memories of good times shared with your dad sustain you and help to bring you peace.

:hug:


We had to write a check to bury my FIL many years back (not that I minded - he was a totally cool guy, but my MIL was kind of stuck and there was a lot of denial about things...)

I totally agree with you.

I hope you have been well. :( :hug: