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Man's Penis Saved After Do-it-Yourself Enhancement Goes Bad (true story!)

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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 12:17 AM
Original message
Man's Penis Saved After Do-it-Yourself Enhancement Goes Bad (true story!)
Edited on Fri Sep-25-09 12:18 AM by Triana
NEWPORT BEACH -- Authorities are calling it a case of do-it-yourself male enhancement gone awry.

A local man has been hospitalized after a metal dumbbell ring became stuck on his penis.

...

THE BEST PART:

Jones also said the patient was "obviously having some other issues."

(huh. ya think?)


http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-penis-rescue,0,105956.story
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 12:21 AM
Response to Original message
1. What do they mean, "goes bad"?
The article clearly states that the procedure worked: "...causing the organ to swell to five times its normal size..."

:shrug:
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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 12:37 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Maybe the proper phrase would have been: "worked a little TOO well..." n/t
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 01:20 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Wanted it LONGER, not fatter, eh?
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Monk06 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 05:20 AM
Response to Original message
4. Another one of those famous ER excuses for having sex with inanimate objects.

"I was just getting out of the shower and I accidentally
sat on a light bulb ..... er, honest Dr."
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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 10:32 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. vacuum cleaner hose...park bench
...were the most amusing ones I've heard about.

The vac hose is obvious - but what beat that was the guy who got it stuck in between the slats in a park bench. They had to REMOVE THE BENCH and take it to the ER with him to get it off him.

Oi. . .


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Monk06 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 12:48 AM
Response to Reply #6
12. How about the coin return slot on a Coke machine ??

That was verified by a championship body builder
who knew a competitor who screwed Coke machines
when he had 'roid rage.
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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. Zoiks. Hadn't heard that one. I'll ask again...
...is there anyplace they WON'T put it? ;)
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 01:58 PM
Response to Reply #6
20. Oh god, I saw the bench incident video.
The man's screams were pitiable. Ugh.
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 10:12 AM
Response to Original message
5. The operative word here is "DUMBBELL"
Hanging weights off the unit WILL NOT make it permanently longer.

Only a ritual involving a pentagram, candles, the blood of an endangered species, and Barry Manilow music played backwards can increase penis size. Everyone knows that.
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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 10:32 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. Bwah!!!
:rofl:
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Turbineguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #5
17. Really?
(hopeful look)
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qb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 10:56 AM
Response to Original message
8. Real sex toys are fun and safe.
It is the backwards idea that they're only for pervs that lands unfortunates like this guy in the ER.
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Triana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Completely agreed with you on that one. n/t
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
9. And be sure to check out the "bad tattoos" link found below the article
:scared:
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Dr. Strange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-25-09 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
10. This has been another episode of...
Things that the phrase "pumping iron" does NOT mean.
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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 12:57 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. More like curling
:shrug:
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 12:58 AM
Response to Original message
14. Christ, people are so stupid.
:crazy:
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 02:16 AM
Response to Original message
15. I used to work with a guy who worked ER for a few years
This kid was brought in one night and he had gangrene around his genitalia area..like really bad!

Apparently what happened was this kid took a padlock and put his sack and penis through the bent bar, and locked it. He didn't have the key and it wasn't until it almost killed him did he go to his parents.

I thought that was really said.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
18. This is one of the few times where that old aphorism is not used to good effect:
"Once you go black, you'll never go back."

:(
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Turbineguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-26-09 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
19. "...he remained fully intact. ..."
I do so love happy endings.

(dabs eye)
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