WARNING: If you are within 15 miles of armyowalgreens please evacuate immediately...

We will begin a 15 mile radius quarantine zone starting in T-minus 36 minutes.

If you have young or old family members that are slow, leave them. It's better that way.

Take only things that are essential to sustaining life (Dave Chapelle standup DVDs and Cheez-It's are also allowed).

We will be setting up apple juice and taco bell burrito stations outside the city limits of the Phoenix Metropolitan area. Please follow the road flares to your nearest location.

The virus has a half life of 15 days. Following a thorough cleansing of the Phoenix/Tempe/South Scottsdale/ North Chandler/ West Mesa area, residents will be allowed to return to their homes***.



The CDC thanks you for your time.



















***If you are: a member of the Arizona Legislature, Senator John McCain or Senator John Kyle-this warning does not apply to you. Please get back to work.

:scared:

That is where you are right?